July 26th. The schizophrenic crisis

A few days before july 26th, while i was packing stuff, moving with my mother and company. I had a disturbing experience, where my whole mind, and prespective seemed to shift into the very back of my head. I seemed unreal and everything seemed unreal. But I wasnt confused. I was upset of course. This persisted for a few hours, then went away. but a few days later another thing began. I had just finished moving into my new house.( In my room there was a ghost, that is now free, but unrelated.) and i had smoked a joint, and all of the sudden , I had these schizophrenic symptoms, I evaded everyone, and was terrified. This was the 26th, which happened to be a full moon. After a while I could conclude that I wasnt losing my mind, becuase, you dont know when youve lost your mind, I wasnt delusional, I just had disturbing, confusing, and also unrealitic glass thoughts, that i could see through, but they were still there. This continued for all of august, september, but everyonce in a while id feel a small shift, and id suddenly be releived of the symptoms. At some point I had made a connection between what happened and jupiter. aswell as all of the other planets. Jupiter has never been so close in our lifetime. I noticed at work and with my friends that everyone was acting strange, and some people actually came out and said I think I'm losing my mind, then I enlightened them as too why, and that they werent really going insane. At another point when I was visiting a friend, odd sensations came over me. I was at his girlfriends house, and i was looking around, and It was like I had forgotten where I was, and I was living in some other reality, Becuase I felt I had been there before, in some way I couldnt remember. Then We walked and still, i couldnt really feel the usual vibrations of where I was, I felt completely out of place. Paranoia had been a little bad. I had to stop smoking weed cuz it gave me a panick attack, just cuz the stress of having this irritating unreal thoughts, was too much when I was high. Im sure i will be able so smoke again when jupiter is a comfortable distance away. Throughout october I had been becoming more and more relaxed and back to normal, even smoke a little hash, didnt get to anxious. During this time I had started having, dreams, that were very very real. And empowering and helpful. I think the first I had, at first I was jumping and floating, and flying around a wierd network of things, then when i landed the place began to morph, and I had talked to my dad about my life. Im very aloof from him here in reality due to his emotional imbalance and selfishness, aswell as ignorance. I told him my secret i had kept from him regarding my self harm, that begun when i still lived with him, which turns out to be a spiritual thing, wether you know it or not. This left me empowered. In another dream I came into contact with an idle of mine, who is of the same chinese zodiac sign as me. We are both roosters. Chinese astrology is very tangible. At first at the end of a hallway, it was his silhouette, then it morphed into a rooster, and it moved closer in little flashes, till it was in my head, I woke up very weak at first, becuase my body was completly in this dream. And the most recent and most revealing dream of all, I was outdoors, in a street, with a girl I know, and I was lying with my feet upright against a car, staring up at the sky, and the planets were aligned, visibly. Then suddenly glowing light blue dragonfly, sort of moth looking things were everywhere, and a large one landed on my foot. This was another very real seeming dream, and I could feel it begin to move inside of my foot, this woke me, the sensation was too real. This has let me know, many things that ive thought about recently and before the crisis. This has been know to happen now, by many sources that id Like to discuss in another thread perhaps. A musician has recently died, I think maybe for exposing this event.

No disrespect meant but i think you need to redefine your opinion on schizophrenia, and possibly the edfects of subcon. And drug taking in newly defined enviroments. (Hooe this comes out right as i cant see the screen as i type) intereting story none the less.

reply to post by LestatG


It was not truelly schizopphrenia, just involuntary thoughts. That I knew even before they seemed to play out in my head, this is a delusion.

reply to post by LestatG


I am now, almost having normal thoughts, that arnt blatently #ed