do they know the stress they are causing?

Well, its started, as far as my family is concerned.

yesterday morning i had a call from my father saying things are bad...we may lose the house. work has slowed right up and things just keep getting more expensive. that sent the whole family in to meltdown. what to do what to do...we cant let them lose the house. they have invested 25 years in it and have about $220,000 equity in it. you cant just stand by and watch your parents go to the wall. not when they would have given you the shirt of their back in years past.

you then start to go through the different solutions that may help while your mother cries her heart out apologizing and your father sits there embarrassed. then you have to sit there and assess your own situation. which sibling is in the best position to do something, which one isnt. if one does something, that could tip them over the edge. then you realise that everyone is basically hanging over a cliff, just clutching on with their fingernails. who will be the first to fall? then who is next, if this persons husband doesnt get the contract next year then its lights out for them. you feel sick. then the headaches start. that terrible knot that gets into you stomach and wont let go. you cant sleep. what to do....what to do.

it then becomes clear. in reality, you are probably the next to fall. maybe in the next 6 months, if not sooner. im only renting so even though it doesnt make sense, in reality that maybe the only solution is for you to give up yours and your family independence and move in with your parents. then you have 3 wages rather than 1 paying off the mortgage. yes, you will survive financially, probably you will all be better off, but what will the emotional cost be? the household will go from 2 adults and a menagerie of pets, to 4 adults and three rather large teenagers.

i dont know if this is what is going to happen yet, we need to decide and decide quick. but rest assured, im sure that there will not be a night in the near future when i dont go to bed thinking, do the powers that be have any idea what they have done? do they care? its only 10 years ago we were all full of such hope, it was the dawn of a new millenium things were good, everyone had good jobs. spend up spend up they said,

well its time to pay the piper, and paid he must be.

reply to post by punterdeb


I wish you the best of luck! My family has been going through a similar situation as are many, many others.

I wish there was a cure all or answer. But I fear we have just begun to see the darkness at the end of the tunnel.

Here is a thread about what our generation has been going through.

www.abovetopsecret.com...

Double post, sorry

reply to post by punterdeb


Do whatever it takes to keep all parts of your family afloat. And the rest of the family should do the same. Me and my family have done this several times. We will always help each other, whether it be all coming together for dinner at someone's house to be sure everyone is eating... living with aunt... having uncles and cousins move in... bringing extra food to a relative's house.... giving money...

Me and my family have lived this way since the 80's. No one looks to mooch or freeload, but anytime a family member falls, we pick each other up until they get on their feet or the situations improve. We have kept strong through tough times, and I know if Great Depression 2 happens, we'll all have each other and work our butt's off to survive, even if it will mean having 10 or more relatives living together under one roof.

This method is tried and tested by me and my family. I highly suggest people open their hearts and lower their egos if they have to live together to stay afloat. Remember when we were all younger? Enjoying life together with close family was wonderful... then we get older, forget about love... and try to stay away and stay separate.

Keep your head up, and I wish you and your family Peace during this hardship.

I think it's certainly an option to move in with them and help in that way. My husband and I have never had the luxery of owning our own home or even having a new car. At least your parents had many years to experience such a joy. Your parents are lucky to have you. You just may save the day yet. I wish you and your family all the best at this difficult time.

omg thankyou so much for your replies. i dont know why i started this thread. dont know why i put it all out there. but i must say i do feel better. i know we will all get through this and i know that many have had this happen before me, i just want to warn others, it may just happen to a lot more of you and when it comes even though you had an inkling things were bad, when it comes it comes fast and decisions need to be made quick.

reply to post by punterdeb


May you be blessed with positive thoughts,feelings, and luck.
We all need it to survive in this world.
I am thankful for all the good that is in my life as well as many others and that has been what has really been getting me through. Seeing my 3 week old son smile at me helps me fight on. Here is to hoping that the economy picks up for us.

reply to post by punterdeb


I was thinking just this today.

Watched the woman I work for nearly have a complete meltdown today... getting really squeezed between governmental requirements, hoop jumping for the banks and trying to squeeze in a little time to try to run a business in this economy while not being able to pay her personal bills.

My family, friends and co-workers are all having to deal with SOMETHING in this economy.

Watched the segment "99ers" from 60 Minutes yesterday
www.cbsnews.com...

Really drove home how deep this cuts and I just don't know what can be done to turn this around.
Cried like a baby for those people in the video and an entire populace that has been pillaged.

reply to post by Scalded Frog


i have just watched the story. how sad. im not sure if your from the u.s but im from australia and we are about 2 years i think behind you. our government is still running around patting each other on the back saying they saved us...we beat the g.f.c. how wrong they are, and we are all just seeing that its smoke and mirrors. they have robbed peter to paul. its only just starting here. its only about 18 months ago people started to know they had to tighten their belt. one of the reasons my parents are the first to feel it is that dad work installing cable t.v. people are not getting it now. people are turning it off. its one of the first things to go. so now he has little work, he will stop going out for dinner. then they will have to start putting people off and the cycle just keeps going and going.

my god australia, you dont know whats headed this way!

reply to post by punterdeb


Yes, I'm in the US. I think you're right about Australia and I think Canada is going to travel along with you. I've been watching house prices there and their relativativity to wages... unsustainable. Like here, they manage to convice everyone that prices can only go up.

Don't know if it's as bad in your country as some of what I've seen in Canada. You'll have to take this quiz and let me know

www.ask.com... 0eS4GGHvf229Z%2BNAS5A%3D%0D%0A&tsp=1288161524468

reply to post by Scalded Frog


there was a new study last month that showed that australia has the highest housing prices in comparison to wages in the whole world.

you would not get anything house wise withing at least 30mins of the city for under 1/2 million. put it this way, for a basic house no pool or anything and at least 1 hour on the train to reach sydney would be at least $350 - $400 thousand.

I am currently living off money I recieved from an accident. I have been unemployed for two years and am 52 years old. I have done mostly factory work, so I'm not picky. Out of hundreds of places, you are lucky if you even get a response to tell you the position has already been filled or that they are not hiring at the time.

In phone calls, I have heard: I'm sorry but we're not hiring right now, I'm sorry but we just laid off people, I'm sorry but we just went to four day work weeks and are not hiring at this time, I'm sorry but we just reduced our work force, etc.

There are too many people competing for the same jobs and it's not easy. My biggest concern is getting affordable medical coverage right now.

For people who are unemployed or struggling in some way, take advantage of dollar stores, second hand shops, yard sales, flea markets. Check the weekly sales at the grocery store and use coupons toward the sales items for an even bigger discount. Make sacrafices. I have no television reception and no cable, but decided for now to keep my internet. I have a pay as you go cell phone and use it for emergencies only, so no monthy commitments there. Be creative and learn a craft, sell your things on consignment. Every little bit helps.

So sorry. Posted the link and didn't check it.

www.crackshackormansion.com...

I say move in and do it! you got to do what you got to do. think on the plus side. The family is togeather. you get to have dinner with each other every night. this will all pass. it may take 10 years but it will pass. its what you do in those 10 year is what will make the difference.

All one can do is trim off the excess expenditures when times get hard.

A lot of stuff people have they don't really absolutely need.

-More than 1 car?,sell one or two.
-Drain the pool to save on chemicals and maintenance.
-Stop watering and fertilizing your lawn,it cost less to mow less.
-Get rid of your cable/satellite TV,another unnecessary expense.
-Grow a garden to save money on food.
-Have a yard sale and sell stuff you don't use.

I lost everything 10 years ago,the biggest lesson I learned is that a lot of the things I had I didn't need.

Trim the excesses,and don't bring them back again when things seem to get better,that way you will have reserves to draw from if it goes sour again.

Too many people have been living beyond their means for too long.

reply to post by punterdeb


Several generations of a family living in a large home will soon be the only viable way to live.

tt