I'm going to revive my ministry! "Mature Content"

I have never discussed this before and this is a mature subject. When I was leaving my religion as a Christian. I started to self harm. Still I did believe and I wanted to help people even though I couldn't help myself. Crying myself to sleep at night. Most of the women who I went out with had the same issues. We're like a cult. I started a ministry when I was getting better and I started to help people out. A lot of people were really nice, some we're rude and disgusting and like I said earlier. I found love in some of the women I was helping. Jennifer, Tovah and Georgia. All had the same issues with self harm. Not to make this thread a subject of my past relationships. I felt being a guy who helped people who couldn't save themselves was going no where. Yes people did say thank you! But they still couldn't stop! I finally stopped after a few years of self harm. After I got better I disbanded my past ministry and closed the chapter of that book. Now I feel it is time to open that chapter and help people. But more infinitely! I just need to know how I can do that. It's confusing. What do you guys think of me doing this? Should I help people out or just continue to have the book closed?

Keep the book closed and stay within the rules.

This isn't a pick up joint for the weak and vulnerable.

Cults are bad - m'kay.

That's why we have standards of councilling.

-m0r

reply to post by m0r1arty


Maybe I could become a counselor. It wouldn't hurt at all and I could learn more. It won't be the ministry though.

I'd recommend anyone that's ever had a ministry to stay away from counselling.

It's a role of authority and as such is as sacred as can be.

You've already had relationships with women in your ward in the past - that's a huge no-no and an abhorrent abuse of trust.

I put people who do that into the same category as rapists and paedophiles.

-m0r

reply to post by m0r1arty


We we're not a cult or religious group. I just called it a ministry. Hey workers fall in love with their customers or patients all the time. I dislike how you're picturing me right now. It's disrespectful!

reply to post by Romantic_Rebel


The truth hurt?

I don't care if you are offended. People get offended all the time by things.

I am speaking about how the law works to take care of the vulnerable and the needy, not to abuse them.

Labelling anything gives it power. Calling your little gang a ministry will have these confused, and potentially easily led, women ordain it as spiritual sanctuary and place more value upon you than a councillor.

Me putting people who abuse vulnerable women into the category of rapists and paedophiles gives power to my statement. A power which you seem to recognise as being against you.

See the magic of labelling things with words?

I think you need to see a councillor before you start the next Waco or Heaven's Gate.

You are exactly the reason I come to ATS.

I take pride in knowing that the spreading of disinformation for personal gain stops and takes notice of the rules when I am around.

Stop taking advantage of vulnerable people.

-m0r

reply to post by m0r1arty


You read me all wrong and I see people like you as jerks! I wish I could say more. But your tiny mind wouldn't be able to process what I wish I could say to you. In fact! I don't need to explain myself to you at all. Yes, your comments are disrespectful and I don't really give a fudge. Now go somewhere else to complain. I'm not here to waste my time on you!

Until this thread is closed, deleted or I'm not permitted to post in it I have every right to be here.

Also, as long as I am not making an attack against you I am well within the T&Cs of this site.

Furthermore by not highlighting the dangers you could possible present to the weak and the vulnerable I would cease to be me.

So, as is it seems that I am going to continue to post here stating why it is a terrible idea for someone to start a 'ministry' to help abused women when they have no training in this field and have had sexual relationships with members of a former 'ministry' of their in the past.

I do think the moral compass is on my side here.

-m0r

reply to post by m0r1arty


You're a sorry person. I'm an Atheist and I'm not here to start a cult of any kind. My way of explaining my past cause of a ministry was my of calling it when I was a Christian. If you feel offended go yell at a brick wall.

I agree with Mor, you cannot, ABSOLUTELY CANNOTY have a relationship with members of your 'flock', Youre putting yourself and your members into serious danger here. It wouldnt be in your best interests to be a counselor to those people, especially if youre known to get into relationships with those youre over. Fraternization is not a good way to go, youre a leader of the group, you should seek your relationships outside the group, or step down and appoint someone else, so no I dont think you should counsel those people, especially women

reply to post by HomerinNC


That was the past! I'm talking about helping people without using them. Where in the world do any of you think I'm going to use people?

Originally posted by Romantic_Rebel
We're like a cult. I started a ministry when I was getting better and I started to help people out... I found love in some of the women I was helping. Jennifer, Tovah and Georgia. All had the same issues with self harm.

Characteristics of a cult..

Nice Avatar.

-m0r

reply to post by m0r1arty


That is what I was feeling like when I was dating them. Personally I want to help people. You should read my entire post then just a snippet.

Forming a dependant relationship isn't helping people. It's propping up your ego due to some supposed missing element in your life.

How did each of those relationships you had with these people you helped end?

How did they start?

I'm not saying you are a bad person but I am saying that you need to look at what you are doing and the motivations behind it.

Perhaps seeing a councillor yourself will allow you to see who you really are.

It's not a bad thing to do and it's quite fulfilling on a personal level.

-m0r

reply to post by m0r1arty


I'm different from you what you see me now typing. I understand you see me as this person who either is wanting to control people or use them. But that's not where I'm coming from. My past relationships happened by us being young and really stupid! We wanted attention and more so being self injures. My ministry which I helped people wasn't to control anyone or look out for members. I just felt happy helping people. All the positive feed back. Even though a lot of negative feed back as well. I finally felt like an adult or maturing to be an adult. Relationships are easy to come by when you and them SI. Trust me! Because we want people to understand. It's not a cult or anything. It's just our problems at that time we needed to fix.
Do you where I'm coming from now?

I'd still say speak to a councillor RR.

No harm can come from it and it will give you a whole new outlook on life.

Starting, reviving or being anywhere near a ministry is bad news unless you work for the government.

The words you use, the way your reflect and the knee jerk reaction to someone supplying honest and sincere advise you took all indicate that you are not yet ready to lead people and will undoubtedly make a mess of it for them and for you.

I know you want to help people and I know you want to feel that recognition for your efforts - but there are better qualified and more experienced people out there who, at this point in time, will do a better, ad more balanced, job than you can.

Point people in their direction until you can approach the sanctity of trust that anyone puts into a councillor.

At the moment it sounds more like you want to relive your youth and hit on girls, albeit while you consider yourself helping them.

It's not mature, it's not useful to anyone and it's not honest.

Put in some effort, rethink what you are trying to achieve and for goodness sake don't try and start anything that rings ominous with power and corruption.

Think on this.

If you see a qualified and experienced councillor and let your soul out the very least you will gain from it is from watching their technique and seeing how it work from their end.

The very most you'll get from it is an understanding of who you really are and what you really want.

I hope this helps and I do wish you every success on your road to assisting other people. It does sound like you could do a good job of it with the right training.

See a councillor.

-m0r

reply to post by Romantic_Rebel


Never give up on God's work. Whatever it is he has called you to do in life will be revealed to you in time. It is not for us to know why we are carrying the cross until we reach our destination, then your troubles will be overcome with joy in knowing that he was with you the whole time in your tribulations, you just did not see him on account you were carrying the burden of your cross. Remember that when you do the physical work of the kingdom of heaven, you must sweat to achieve this goal. When you do so, sometimes your sweat gets in your eyes and stings so that you cannot see clearly. When your burdens are complete then you are called to enjoy the toils of your labors and God will manifest his presence into your works so that you will succeed.

This is the same test that Job was given and it is the curse of Jonah, for he was kept inside the belly of the whale for three days and kept in darkness. Then when the time was right, the whale released Jonah from his belly so that he could be saved by his shipmates who were waiting for him. This is also how you will come to the kingdom of heaven. You are kept in darkness for your time, and then when your time is right you are released from the darkness and veil that is kept over you.

Peace to you Romantic Rebel. I enjoy your posts, but I must respectfully agree with m0r.
I am not implying that you are necessarily a bad guy or sicko. What is appropriate is to never cross that line. You gave the example of an employee dating a customer, I do not feel this is an appropriate comparison. When one is in a leadership role, or one who deals with others opening up their vulnerabilities, problems, and emotions, it must remain professional. People that open up or seek others for help are vulnerable and let their guard of trust down to the "helper."