Shade of Red

This is a poem of metaphors, so please keep that in mind when you give feedback. If you do not understand the metaphors, simply ask and I would be more than happy to explain them.

When you read this, think about:

- What is the significance of the color red?
- What thoughts were running through the protagonist's head during each individual stanza?
- What was the insatiable appetite depicted in the first and last stanza?
- How was the protagonist released from said insatiable appetite?
- What drove the protagonist to search for said release?

Also, I would like judgment on the following:

- Imagery
- Rhythm/Meter
- Impact

Constructive criticism is welcomed.

_______________________

Shade of Red

Damn this insatiable appetite,
This unyielding lust for something more.
So trapped am I, under my skin;
A wretched home, a place to abhor.

Averting eyes see none but red,
Like a raging bull I am unsighted.
I try to see, but to no avail,
Red remains, my mind blighted.

I reach out to touch it only to stop,
My eyes fill up with horror, mouth agape;
My fingers trembling, my heart racing,
My hands blanketed in crimson tape.

I look to the left and now the right,
An object lies dormant in my grip.
A horrid chill rushes up my spine
As I glare bewildered at the fine tip.

With a clank the blade hits the pavement,
With a thud my knees follow suit.
With my hands outreached I glare once more,
As the crimson tears swiftly chute.

My gaze averts once more below,
The knife which took a life lifelessly lies.
With a whim I reanimate the bloodied blade,
Into the void of which my heart once guised.

Without a sound my pulse quickly slows,
My blank eyes return from sudden dilation.
This wretched place which I abhor, so red,
No longer trapped, sweet liberation.

And so the insatiable lust is silenced
With a pool of crimson ever-growing.
I am no longer blinded by the red,
For now, forever, with life forgoing.

reply to post by Modern Americana


In the words of your TROLLING FRIEND. Now I am curious, is this some kind of joke? Who do you work for? Why post something that has already been said?

Originally posted by Bushido Kanji
When you read this, think about:

- What is the significance of the color red?
- What thoughts were running through the protagonist's head during each individual stanza?
- What was the insatiable appetite depicted in the first and last stanza?
- How was the protagonist released from said insatiable appetite?
- What drove the protagonist to search for said release?

Also, I would like judgment on the following:

- Imagery
- Rhythm/Meter
- Impact

Constructive criticism is welcomed.

______________________________________________________________________

Shade of Red


Damn this insatiable appetite,
This unyielding lust for something more.
So trapped am I, under my skin;
A wretched home, a place to abhor.

Averting eyes see none but red,
Like a raging bull I am unsighted.
I try to see, but to no avail,
Red remains, my mind blighted.

I reach out to touch it only to stop,
My eyes fill up with horror, mouth agape;
My fingers trembling, my heart racing,
My hands blanketed in crimson tape.

I look to the left and now the right,
An object lies dormant in my grip.
A horrid chill rushes up my spine
As I glare bewildered at the sharpened tip.

With a clank the blade hits the pavement,
With a thud my knees follow suit.
With my hands outreached I glare once more,
As the crimson tears swiftly chute.

My gaze averts once more below,
The knife which took a life lifelessly lies.
With a whim I reanimate the bloodied blade,
Into the void of which my heart once guised.

Without a sound my pulse quickly slows,
My blank eyes return from sudden dilation.
This wretched place which I abhor, so red,
No longer trapped, sweet liberation.

And so the insatiable lust is silenced
With a pool of crimson ever-growing.
I am no longer blinded by the red,
For now, forever, with life forgoing.

taken from this thread:www.abovetopsecret.com...
Your friend posted this on 7/22/2010
Your work is not original

That is me.

That is my old account that I told a moderator to post ban so I could use this one.

My work IS original, I even have the manuscript if we want to get stupid with this.

I reposted it on this account because I wanted a record of it on this account.

Thank you for your concern, though.

reply to post by Modern Americana


I'll back you up on that.

reply to post by masqua


Thank you it means a lot!