Am I even a person?

Yes, this thread is all about me. A little ironic, being that it's posted in a forum entitled "People", which is a demographic I'm apparently not a member of.

Yes, I'm human. But far from normal.

Okay, so I am a little depressed right now. I just need an outlet to vent my frustrations. Thank you, whoever you are, for reading this.

So, I work in the wonderful world called Corporate America. There's no question, it's a brutal atmosphere. Undeniably cutthroat. It's the only job I have right now to support my wife and son. But I have been having problems where I work. Basically, my supervisor tears me apart for everything I do, no matter how I do it. Yes, I make some mistakes, and who doesn't? I do everything in my power to do a good job, every day. I do my best. And believe me, my best isn't someone else's worst. I do a good job; others have said so.

Why is it that no matter what I do, someone is there to tear me a new one each time? I'm a grown ass man, and normally I can take this crap, but it's getting to be a little much. Not to mention the fact that I discovered my job is on the line. Like, I may literally be fired if I don't do everything just right. Do I have a history of doing a poor job, lateness, not showing up, unreliability, or anything else a manager might want to terminate an employee for? The answer is a resounding NO. The problem is that I don't communicate well with people. I can be a team player, I was in the military, but when I communicate to people, everything seems to fall apart. It's not that I say the wrong thing. I just don't say the right things. Even right now, I'm so emotionally distraught, I can't even write what I really feel. Normally I can write great. Now I can't even do that. I may need to put my medical benefits to good use and see a therapist, just so I have someone to talk to about all of this.

I don't really know what I meant to say, but I doubt I said it. Oh well... I've seen much worse threads on ATS. Thanks for listening, whoever you are.

Coulda swore I was a waffle just a second ago, and now I just don't think I am a waffle anymore.

On a more serious note, I hope you get better.
Also some friendly advice, don't go and see your military therapist because all they will do is prescribe prozac and once that becomes not enough they consider mental illness. It is all a very intricate plot sir

reply to post by Socratic Method


I'm not going to a military therapist. They already diagnosed me with "Dysthymia", which sorta makes sense, but that's the reason I got out. They discharged me because of a "personality disorder"...

I know I'm odd. I'm a weird person. I'm also (not trying to sound arrogant or egotistic) brilliant. It's not something I hide from, it's who I am. But in this society I have yet to find an outlet for my extremely high intelligence. I just do not fit in with normal, average people.

The military does not need nor want intelligence, they want brazen disregard for anything that is moral.
DU used in every caliber bullet currently in a middle eastern country near you, your not alone on this more people feel the way you do you just have to do your due diligence and search

I am so sorry to hear that you are having such a difficult time at work. I have worked for some doozies myself at one time. Hopefully some counseling might help. You'll get things off your chest and maybe gain a different perspective on how to handle things.

reply to post by Night Star


I'm thankful for people like you. It seems like everyone, everywhere, is just so uncaring, and not willing to try to understand what someone else is going through. People don't empathize like they should. I'm not even talking about my own life here. I see people suffering or struggling, and nobody cares. People only care about themselves most of the time. The realization of this sad truth is what has led me to become the most empathetic, caring person I can be. And it yields nothing in return. Don't get me wrong, I don't expect a reward for trying to be a good person, but I just get down when I see the reality that human beings are a selfish race of creatures. Then again, what species isn't?

I hope I can spark an evolutionary change to make my descendants more caring, loving creatures.

Dude. Listen up. Here's some help, the "in a nutshell" version.

This whole universe, including you, is a vibrating powerhouse of energy - it flows as it will and creates waves. Frequencies. Varying frequencies of it make up everything you can see, hear, touch & smell. You're made of it. It's like a current in a river, and you've got a paddle turned sideways in it...you're having to fight just to maintain. Whereas if the paddle were turned just a tad..then it would be in harmony with the flow. You're not going with the flow, your personal energy (things you do, maybe even where you live) aren't right in the universe and it's giving you feedback. Now here's the hard part - which is actually pretty easy. Use your brain & try to better yourself. Strive TOWARD something positive, but not toward any one particular material thing. For example, if you want to move out of the area, don't just look for a house in the next town...or right down the road. Look everywhere. The building blocks of your future will pretty much fall into place. You'll know them because you'll feel it and it will be right.
I'm not saying do nothing & jump on the first things that come along, and I'm not saying you won't have to work hard and/or fight for what you want.
The fish that's on the bank is stressed, trapped, suffocating...and headed for destruction. The one in the pond is where he should be, and he knows it.

Cheer up and make your mind up what you would & wouldn't do for your wife & child.
If you have any questions, just msg me.

reply to post by OrphenFire


Sounds like you may have a mild case of social anxiety disorder. It's kinda like stage fright, except it happens when addressing both small and large groups. I'm kinda the same way, sometimes. Hope you get better.


-TheAssoc.