5 years together...her parents didnt approve...now another 5 years later...

We met in college...started out as friends..6 months later..we were lovers...unbreakable..she made my world light up..i gave her life a meaning...everything started in 2001...we were young fresh out of high school...she was my first love...i was her first...we respected each other...we never cursed or disrespected each other..never cheated the 5 years we were together...we were Romeo and Juliet...only her family stood in our way...how could this happen in the 21st centaury..and in the US to say the least...her father is an eastern European immigrant..came to the states in the 80s..worked hard...made a lot of money in NY..gained status in his community...had a picture of what he wanted for his daughter..and i didnt quit fit that category..

we had to sneak around to be with each other...the relationship started to stress her towards the end...she was unhappy....she felt like if we eloped her father would come after me..he probably would...not the nicest guy..shady if u know what I mean...her mother would be blamed...it would break her family...it got to a point where I saw the misery in her eyes...i started thinking of breaking it off...for her sake..god knows i loved her so much...i decided i cant just do it without giving her my all...so i asked her to marry me...she cried...her tears didnt stop for an hour..she kepts saying why..why..why would u do this to me..ill never forget that day...i knew she would say no..i guess it was my way of closing my heart to her...how could she say no to me...i would risk my life for her...she would too..but i guess she really felt shed hurt her family..she always thought of others...her feelings where her least priority....

we didnt speak for a month after...i moved to a different state..I never admitted to my friends but I moved to get away from her..i was away for 6 months...when i got back..i started partying...drinking.....and the first girl i met...i started dating her..it was weird..5 years with one person..i had no love for the new girl..she was just there to help me through this..finally i called my first love one day..and i told her im in another relationship..she started crying...i hung up...a year later i found out she had a nervous breakdown that day..and was hospitalized...now almost 5 years after we broke up...shes married...a baby on the way..i email her every now and then...she seems happy...and im soooo happy for her...one of the reasons i held on to her so long even thought i felt like it wasnt going anywhere is cause i was afraid shed end up with someone that wouldnt treat her good..i felt like she was too sweet too kind for this world...

.i dont know..i just wanted to share my story..I only dated that one girl after her...when i felt stronger...i dumped her..and moved on...i guess i shouldnt say moved on...cause till this day..i cant picture myself with anyone but her...to anyone that reads this...did i do her wrong by leaving her? or did i do the right thing? i always think about how i hurt her...her crying voice is still in my head...the moment i told her i was with someone else..that moment was the worst moment of my life.

Man, I tried, but I am simple and need paragraphs...

Ahh regret, atleast you can take comfort in having closure and knowing what happened to her and that she is "happy" right? First love bro well maybe I am jaded but first love is the training wheel session. There is tons of people out there, I know so cliche, and sucks to think about it when you meet someone you clique with...


Just gotta keep on going, staying focuses ya know... The regret part though.. Just be glad you got to be apart of each others lives...


Devil: Well is she really happy? I mean.. is she? < ignore that... move on

Being in your situation would be like hell on earth for me.
Very difficult. I hope that some day you'll be able to move on completely.
Things like that happening make it kind of scary to start new relationships.

reply to post by stayjersey

...did i do her wrong by leaving her?
or did i do the right thing?

You have the rest of your life to ponder that question. No one else will be able to answer it for you.

Personally, your story is not one I would choose for myself. But neither is living a life of regret.

Namaste

reply to post by stayjersey


Time to move on and forget about it. Nothing good will come with dwelling on the past.

PS: Paragraphs, sentences and commas are your friends

Wall of text...couldn't do it.

reply to post by stayjersey


She's married and has a baby on the way. I'm not sure what more a gal can do in telling you to MOVE ON...

This isn't even a hint, it's SCREAMING it at you.

Just because she fits this ideal world image you've built for yourself, doesn't mean you can't build up a new image of how you want things to be. We all have the "one that got away"....but you move past it, and find someone else new that is something that "one" never was.....REAL and LASTING....

(and you're welcome for the paragraphs... )