Companionship And Conspiracy, the Divide.

First Id like to say that I am a very compromising person when it comes to most things. But going back to sleep for companionship I cannot do.

I have never been in love, and I can truly say this, especially when I started researching I realized that there was something missing, and what I think companionship means, is more than what love means. I think that it requires more dedication, and understanding.

Basically what I'm saying is love is played out. Now that I have learned many things in my life, due to research and well just being awake now. I find myself in a great place to have a companion. To build a relationship, Not work on it. To talk to someone, Not talk at them.

With that being said. I find myself at a crossroads. Having my state of mind is complicated in itself. I am aware, not paranoid, but I find that talking to someone that is interested in me, tends to bore me. I don't want to talk about t.v, or McDonald's, and I don't want to go to the movies, I want to watch a documentary over a nice dinner, maybe talk, have a couple of drinks, and listen to some oldies.

Not doom and gloom, but happiness, and what we can do to make that happen. I feel as if me finding myself, meant me being BY myself. I was wondering if anyone was going through something similar.Has anyone found themselves having to decide between happiness of self, and happiness with another?

I know about 3 men that research, and their married, and do not talk to their wives about it. They tell me that they feel locked up, because their companions don't want to hear about it. They love them, but its one sided.

I don't want to end up like that. Well thats all. Thanks for reading.

Peace, NRE.

I have to agree with you on the part about what finding love really is. Our vision of it is skewed by movies. I think its pretty special when you meet someone you can stand being around for more than hour, and can talk to them about anything without being judged.

I think that this is happening alot more than people would like to admit. No one really wants to tell someone they love or even someone their dating that its not you, its "them". If that wasn't hard enough, could you imagine telling them WHY?

This I think is severely over looked and in time, will become a big problem for the conspiracy community, especially if something like disclosure happens. There would be alot of hurt feelings.

Peace, NRE.

Well I am in this section of life where I am realizing that I dont belong in this place.. Everything i do really normies dont agree with it or can care less about what it is I have to say.. Believe me 3 words i talk about people all hate to listen to..

Politics:

People dont like listening to this because they want to believe that thier vote counts for something in elections, they dont want to here how this place or that place has only true records if at all exist about your vote. They dont want to hear that the people that are voting for have been set up to be in office to do someone elses bidding... I can go on but you get the idea.

Religion:

This really bugs normies because they wholeheartedly believe that the bible is really written by god, although it does say in there that it was written by man but meh I guess they dont like fine print.. I also talk about how God is supposed to love everyone then smites someone because they dont believe in him, oxymoron at its finest here.

History:

Since my involvement in 9/11 I have had to relearn history for what its says now what is told. I have come to the conclusion that all the things that we have been taught has been a lie and try to spread the knowledge that i know for what it is, black and white..

Me personally:

I really dont like the life we are forced to live day in and day out.. Albert Einstein stated at some point that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results..

Today we see this in mass numbers, people going to their work, slave all day get taxed out the ass then come home to barely put oodles of noodles on the table to eat..This has become a accepted practice that people fall into.. When I talk to normies about breaking out of this pattern they look at me like I am F'ing crazy and tell me to quit dreaming.. I do see a place where we can live happily but the only place I see this at is in death.. I envy people who are able to suicide without thinking of the consequences of their actions.. I however was stupid enough to learn death inside and out so there is a few things that I dont want to deal with if i decide to suicide. But if i do it would because i believe this planet has lost what love they have for one another and turned it into greed, football, and the biggest and coolest car that the jones have..

I used to think love was real until I woke up and smelt the sh*t on my knees.. Then i realized we are nothing but self egotistical crazy ass people running in a mental institution waiting for our time to die.. it dont matter how we get there it only matters how much stress you can endure...


If this post isnt what you were looking for I am sorry about this does bug me to no end.. People are not people anymore as long as they have been programmed to think and do certain things they are no better than the computer i am typing this message on... Oh well thinkers, intellects, and artists are a dying bunch...

reply to post by ThichHeaded


That was very very well put, and I couldn't of said it better myself. It seems like some of us are going through a harder transition, and its not because we have and do deal with the realities of life, but because we are now doomed to live as hermits at times, because of it.

Why do we have to suffer because we sought out knowledge? The worst thing about it, is that I don't think this will change anytime soon.

Peace, NRE.

Originally posted by NoRegretsEver
Why do we have to suffer because we sought out knowledge? The worst thing about it, is that I don't think this will change anytime soon.

Ya I think it gets way worse than this..

Every Time i see something on tv it reminds me of that movie Idiocracy.. it shows that movie to be right to no end, and the sad thing about it is that that movie was made a while ago..

I don't see us as humans wanting what happened in the late 18 early 1900s things we can be proud of.. Things we can be proud of is what.. talking crap on people and making smart people seem insignificant and things like that..

Well we are a virus to this planet and sooner or later like any bad virus there is a cure.. ya know what I mean...

I forgot to add something earlier..

How can you see positive when all there is around you is crap and more crap.. I try and find positive in things but in humans it is very very hard to do.. Really..

I have my positive kicks but its usually in the form of some type of art like taking pictures or something.. Other than that I dont see much good in anything we do anymore...

reply to post by ThichHeaded


I saw that movie to, it should have been a documentary

Now about the positive. If and when I talk to someone about the things that we discuss here, it is usually terrifying to those who have no clue. So, I talk to someone about something terrifying to them the way that I would talk to a child about the boogie man.

Its as real as you want it to be. There is always a way to beat your fear, and its always further knowledge. If you know that the economy is going to fail, learn to save. If your afraid of pesticides in food, learn what is better, or can harm you less.

I would rather know what I'm up against them go fighting without knowing my enemy.

That is the reason that I think that people choose not to know. I cannot go backwards, I cannot unlearn what I have learned, and now I have to live with the knowledge of know I have to go the road by myself. But those are choices that we have to make ourselves.

I'm sure I could be happier if I watch American Idol with everyone else, but then who am I doing it for? Not me.

Peace, NRE.

I find it really interesting nobody else feels this way..

Are we the only people? cause if so that sucks to be us...

Sounds like you paranoid tin foil wearing folks need a place were you all can mingle with like minds, a place like other people have, like the geeks and arcade nerds hang around arcades or in basements playing magic the gathering, or political peoples hang around town centers having popularity contests once in a while, and book nerds have book clubs were all of them read one book and talk about it......But then again if there is a conspiracy peoples gathering or club, wouldn't that make it more main stream, and hence not much of a conspiracy.... Who know's i quess in a way maybe so...But the op has a point to much digging in dark places will just leave you in your own little hole that you dug yourself in, it's probably better to have someone to dig with you....that way you wont be lonely when in the hole of breaking away from the norm, and less work digging. If there is such a thing as the norm/normal in this world that is? And you will always have someone else to blame as well, just like everyone else... Look at the religious folks they always blame others, but at least there never lonely or bored...... Just messing around about the religious folks, there alright, as long as no one gives them an army.

reply to post by ThichHeaded


Im going to take it like its only us, wait that cant be right?... right?

Peace, NRE.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again.

Here's the simplest explanation of LOVE I can think of....

When you care about another's life and happiness more than your own...that is love.

Now, there are different kinds of love (family, spousal, etc.), but it's just different flavors of the same magic.

Originally posted by NoRegretsEver
reply to post by ThichHeaded

 

Im going to take it like its only us, wait that cant be right?... right?

Peace, NRE.

I believe so.. Oh well Alot of animals stay solitude for a while.. Toads are one that comes to mind..

I re read what I wrote.. I might have been really pissed off that day, but everything i said is the truth.. I cant stand people they are superficial and give a crap less about someone else. As long as they get what they want...

reply to post by galadofwarthethird


We are not tin foil hats, we see things as they are.. People dont see it because they watch fox news or something.. We see it because we like stated earlier sought out more knowledge than we were supposed to.. So we in a way see in black and white until proven otherwise...

Originally posted by Gazrok
I've said it before, and I'll say it again.

Here's the simplest explanation of LOVE I can think of....

When you care about another's life and happiness more than your own...that is love.

I do that with people and i seem the get the ass end of the stick in most cases.. people dont take things for what they are, they take things for what they can get. and when its all used up they throw it away like yesterdays trash.. I have seen this countless times in my life to know this is fact not assuming.. I see people who "love" each other but i have also seen people who say this but are forced into a situation.. they say they love this so they put up with that..

Oh well to each thier own eh?

Originally posted by Gazrok
Now, there are different kinds of love (family, spousal, etc.), but it's just different flavors of the same magic.

The interesting thing about this is you may be right.. I am broken so I have no idea what you are saying.. I have never seen love for what it was.. as stated above i have seen it for what can be taken from you.. Well at least someone finds what they are looking for.. Other forced to sail the waters alone hoping to hit that island that might be good for hem to survive..

reply to post by ThichHeaded


Well, life ain't over, so hopefully you still have plenty of time to find it. I do wish you the best in this endeavor.

When I talk to other people I talk to people in a mindframe that they understand. For instance, on the political spectrum I would be considered an anarchist (I am actually an anarchist, so that's just where I stand). I consider governments to be wrong and immoral and I think that state power should not be used to interfere with our individual or economic freedom. I don't believe that the two should be separate. I also believe that the government takes power away from the people and puts it in the hands of an elite few.

I just tell people what my beliefs are... and they just kind of accept that I have them based on what I am. No one's really surprised when I tell people I'm an anarchist. Now if I told people that I am a conspiracy theorist than I think people would be having more problems with that. I am not saying to lie about your identity or anything like that but maybe you guys or girls could go under a label that more people understand? When people think of conspiracy theorists they think of Hitler, the birch society, or Young Earth creationists. So they think all people who believe in conspiracy theories are nuts because of that. IDK, I hope what I'm saying kind of helps.

I would have to agree with you girls and guys allot , i have seen the movie " idiocracy " and yes that's where society is headed sad but true this is why i want [snip] to hit the fan i am tired of the same old thing over and over again it sucks . I wish there were more girls like ya'll out there instead of the BS gossiping ones .

Don't worry it will all be over soon folks ..

reply to post by NoRegretsEver


I hate talking with someone I'm interested in only to find they're completely in the dark and have no inclination to wake up. I don't want to have to be "in the closet" with my view of the world, I use that phrase because I am also a lesbian and find it quite hard to someone of a like mind. The cards are already stacked against me because I'm in the south (not saying there are no other lesbians here, they're just harder to find) and not in a larger city. Throw that on top of my beliefs and I feel that I'm looking for the proverbial needle in a hay stack.

reply to post by PS3Geek


Brawndo, it's got what plants crave.... Talk about laughing and crying at a movie...laughing as it was funny, but crying because it's likely true...hehe...

Wow, you can actually buy it...
www.brawndo.com...

Originally posted by Gazrok
reply to post by PS3Geek

 

Brawndo, it's got what plants crave.... Talk about laughing and crying at a movie...laughing as it was funny, but crying because it's likely true...hehe...

Wow, you can actually buy it...
www.brawndo.com...

edit on 9-12-2010 by Gazrok because: (no reason given)

Don't know what the heck that is supposed to mean .

I think a lot of it is the tone of voice you use, and whether you insist on talking about it when the other person isn't in the mood.

My wife certainly doesn't share all or even many of my conspiracy theories; yet I have been right often enough that she doesn't mock me or denigrate my interests, either.

On the other hand, i don't start conversations about it. she sees that I've been researching something, and she will even look at my web history to follow my line of interest. Of course, she might also be confirming that I'm not downloading a bunch of porn.j But she keeps aware of what my interests are.

now, that doesn't mean she wants to hear 30 minutes of how Abraham Lincoln betrayed the republic and launched us on the route to empire that is playing itself out today. But when she sees a really big news story, she'll turn to me and ASK for my explanation.

She also tolerates my other hobbies, like gardening on a near industrial scale, long term food storage, and woodworking. Part of that is because i thought Y2K opened the POSSIBILITY of economic collapse. my response had been to stock up on gasoline, camping gear, and gold.

Most normal humans are not going to stop loving you because of an interest you have. They might because you are a monomaniac, though.

reply to post by NoRegretsEver


Its interesting to see this viewpoint. (finding myself means being by myself).

It certainly worked out that way for me. I denied multiple women a relationship because i didnt think i was "there" enough. Fantastic people though, in their own right, and i still feel a bit bad that all i could really say was "it just cant happen right now"

After... ten? years of no relationships i think i put myself into a position where i wouldnt even know how to be in one. If its meant to happen, i suppose it will, but it would be a bit unfair to ask for that amount of patience so i dont even go there.

I think one can "find themselves" whether they are in a relationship or not though. I cant help but think the companionship would have been beneficial through past and current bad times I think getting "addicted" to relationships is probably the thing to watch out for, but given what i said, its not like im an expert! I think with the "right" person by your side, it does nothing but make you stronger.

Though really, as i view "all that is" as self, i guess it would just be masturbation anyway