Teenager Sex With Cop's Daughter Leads To Arrest

Some people here seem very relaxed about 14 year old girls having sex. But I wonder how much folks have thought this through.

First, please imagine we're talking about your own 14 y o, just starting on her trip from the world of childhood to the world of adulthood. She's outgrown her barbie dolls and wants to wear makeup like her friends do, and when you're out shopping, you notice men ogling her and watching her from behind as you're walking.

Naturally you'll feel protective, but most most girls that age don't even notice the looks they get, and don't understand what you're worried about.

Now for the questions:
How would you feel if this daughter was noisily banging away in her bedroom, so you could hear her when you tried to sleep?
How would you feel if she was doing the same away from home, where you couldn't hear, and it was less safe for her than home?
How would you feel about her running the risk of pregnancy, as NO contraceptive gives 100% protection?
How would you feel about her risking catching STDs, as NO contraceptive gives 100% protection?
How would you feel about her getting genital herpes, as condoms do not protect from it and ~25% of American adults have it?
How would you feel about her heart being broken after the guy drops her? (On an average, sex = falling in love with girls more often than it does with guys.)
How would you feel about your daughter having an abortion if contraception fails, or becoming a teenage single mother?

You can't just leave it to the kids to decide without you giving them all the education and support you can first.
One needs a bit of experience to understand the long-term implications of what's going on.

With all that said, the actions of the Police Officer were wrong. Those with power must learn responsibility.

Society is pushing sex at kids from all angles, and they need whatever protection we can give them before they make too many mistakes. Mothers need to be friends with their daughters, sharing their life-experience and always finding time to listen and care about the girl's day-to-day concerns.

Fathers need to give the girls a good role-model, because what she has seen in her father will usually be what she ends up with in a partner. If you want your daughter to have some pride, treat her as though she has earned it. If you want her to have self respect, then respect her.

On the other hand, if you want your daughter to act sexual around guys, doing whatever they want, getting bashed and left damaged, then ogle the women you see, be a sexist dickhead, order her around contemptuously and be violent at home. Works nearly every time.

Too many parents punish kids for being the inevitable results of their own bad parenting.

The kids lucky..I have a 4 year old daughter had I caught the little bastard I'd stroll on down to the local hood and invest in a couple of 16-17 year old men who are striving capitolist and let them give the young man in question a nice ass kicking. Call me a bad dad what ever but education can come in all forms some use pencils and books some use upper cuts and right hooks.

Wow, I'm glad I didn't date a cops daughter when I was younger. It sounds to me like he overstepped his authority by a mile, and reacted with anger rather than to send the boy a message. I have 3 boys and a girl and while I hope they wait until they're old enough to understand the consequences of unprotected sex I don't think they're going to wait until marriage. Not only did he embarrass the boy but I'm sure his daughter may have a hard time getting a date to the prom, and if that was my son he "arrested" I would have been pissed. I thought the police are to serve and protect not to embarrass and humiliate.

Originally posted by Kailassa
Some people here seem very relaxed about 14 year old girls having sex. But I wonder how much folks have thought this through

I can't believe it took so long for this type of reply to make itself known.

Well done sir/kid (delete as applicable)!!

I think you summed up, more concisely than I, why this isn't a corrupt or bad cop.

Perhaps ATS is just full of folk who don't understand what being a father, or a decent guy, actually entails.

Star for you and a serious hip-hip-hooray for common sense.

-m0r

reply to post by Nutter


thats the main point it dosent matter if people hate cops because of this its not bias on our part the cop broke the law thats the only issue at heart and hes been suspended so obiously hes the one possibly getting charged and the kid isnt last time i checked they bolth got citations and that the charges could have been dropped

Well I am a Police Officer (ducks the thrown tomatoes, but a good one I swear!) and would like to comment on this.

At first I agreed with the officer but after thinking, and reading more I think he was in the wrong. We are not even allowed to go to the grocery store as we are going out of service. What was he thinking to go handle a personal matter after going out of service, in uniform?

In his defense parents ask us to handcuff (scared straight style) their kids all the time. It is a pretty good tactic. However obtaining prior approvel from the parent is a must in that situation, UNLESS we already have probable cause to make an arrest. In this case it really doesn't matter if probable cause existed or not because he was off duty, and didn't have prior approval from a supervisor. Now we are able to make arrests off duty if we witness a crime being committed. That wasn't the case in this situation.

Now as far as the boy commenting on how it has scared him emotionally, give me a break. Then he goes into the whole I've been mean to my cousin lately comment. Are you serious, can you say coached response for the cameras.

It also cracks me up when I hear abuse of power, and brutality mentioned in responses to this article. Again give me a break. There are plenty cases of police abuse of authority/power but I hardley see this as one. Did the officer screw up? Yup. Does he deserve to be written up, suspended, and made to review department general orders in reference to this type of situations? Yup. I don't necessarily think he deserves to lose his job though. Not in this situation. But then again I never met the officer so what do I know. Just my opinion.

Y2KJMan, its not about comprehension , It just the way we see things... There's people that will agree with what I'm saying and there's people will agree what you are saying. But the reality is, its not S. Rape and will hold no grounds in the courts, yes IT WOULDNT AT ALL if there isnt any foul play involved between the two even if you go by with what the law itself says (remember there's grey-areas in laws also). What judge will go with a case of TWO minors that are having sex?
If what you agreeing on was the case, Why teach sex education in schools? Why give out condoms at schools? Why all the safe-sex talks in schools is about? If it was truly illegal for 2 minors to have sex then there wouldnt be no programs like those in H.S., They would just tell the kids, If you have sex when you under lets say 17, You will be sent to jail or have your life record destroy.

Hell, If people really see that law as the way you and others sees it then A LOT OF HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS WILL BE LOCKED UP AND/OR HAVE A FUKED UP RECORD... think about it, come to reality, common sense and logic.

High School Students, even Junior High School are all under the age to have sex but yet THEY STILL DO IT, why arent half of them are in jail or have a record?

If a person isnt an adult there's no way in hell it will go thru the court system. In My opinion those laws are there to protect a minor from grown ass man or female sexually. It isnt really there cause of projection against two minors within the same age range from each other.

Y

reply to post by TorqueyThePig


You're right, he wasn't abusing his power, he was merely using it in a manner in which it was not designed to be used in....

Wait a second, what the # are you saying? Of course it was abuse of power, it's the very definition of abuse of power. Now whether this is a case of police brutality, I would say you were right, but this is a clear and cut example of abusing power and if you can't see it as such well I don't feel very safe with you as an officer of the law.

Originally posted by tsloan
The kids lucky..I have a 4 year old daughter had I caught the little bastard I'd stroll on down to the local hood and invest in a couple of 16-17 year old men who are striving capitolist and let them give the young man in question a nice ass kicking. Call me a bad dad what ever but education can come in all forms some use pencils and books some use upper cuts and right hooks.

So your natural reaction to the original topics situation would be to solicit the assault of another (underage) individual/ conspiracy to commit assault. Both of these are actual crimes, unlike the young mans situation in the OT. As much as you might not like it, you can't hire someone else to beat up someone else, not can you do it yourself regardless of your feelings about the situation.

Then again, if a 5 year old was trying to engage in consensual sex with your 4 year old daughter, you should have more pressing concerns about your daughter and yourself.

I hate how people try to demonize the boy in this situation. Girls want sex too...

I'm a girl who's 19 now. I started having sex at 15. Why? Because I liked it and wanted to. More so than my boyfriend at the time. And IDK someone on the first page called this girl a slut. What would make you think shes a slut? Because she has sex with her boyfriend as is young?

reply to post by m0r1arty


I can agree with your reply to me. I can agree with a lot of it. If I was to do it out of sport. I would love to scare the first little kid who has sex with my daughter(if it happens that young I can only hope not, but if it does and it could). He just has the ability to do it as a officer with cuffs and the works. He should not lose his job for this. He should not be sued for this. A short suspension with pay cut in half or something maybe? Could he have handled it better. Yes. Talking to the parents etc.

I was just reading into your statements about the kids to far.

reply to post by mnmcandiez


Exactly a lot of people are picking out the guy. No reason for it. The person who called the girl a slut. Obviously is not smart. So the girl I had sex with when I was 15 and she was 14. We had been "dating" for 2 years. So once we had sex now she is a slut and I am a rapist? lol I love it.

A. The girl is too young to be having sex.
B. The boy is too young to be having sex.
C. Both are committing an illegal act in the state of CA.
D. The cop also broke the law in the exact way he handled it.
E. All of these parties could be charged with a crime.
F. Or, everyone could come to their senses, talk with the kids, understand the father's anger, and work towards resolving the issue, and making the kids aware of the consequences of sex at such a young age, without anybody filing charges against anybody.

Bottom Line: Everybody screwed up, but everyone will also have to fix it.

How old is old enough to have sex? When you are old enough to deal with the consequences (i.e. children, STDs, etc.). In other words, an adult. Sure, most of us had some kind of sexual activity when we were under 18, but that still doesn't make it right, or legal, and that is not a reason to have our children repeat our mistakes. Most of us were even lucky enough to not have the consequences happen...but that luck shouldn't be assumed.

reply to post by Gazrok


You have to look at it like this though as well. I do know a girl who is 18 now. Just turned 18 now. She was 13 when she had her baby. She is a single mother and probably one of the better mothers I have got a chance to meet in life. So when is old enough? I think it all depends on the maturity of the individual.

Take into account this girl finished school. She kept a steady job after school was out at 3:15pm. She moved out of her parents at 16years old. She is going to college. So really it depends on the person.

Theres a ton of young mothers who make older mothers look terrible. Though I can flip it and say theres a ton of older mothers who make young mothers terrible. So will we ever have an answer?

Originally posted by m0r1arty


I am confident had that cop wanted he could have charge him, or have a colleague charge him, with statutory rape and place him on the sex offenders register for life. Had it been my daughter, and as a regular civilian, I would have pursued this to the full extent of the law and made sure he understood the gravity of his actions.

The fact that a cop chose not to follow this perfectly legal judicial process when his own daughter is involved speaks volumes about good character and preserved integrity.

-m0r

No, not good character or integrity, looking out for his"slut" of a daughter.
The problem with charging the boy, is that under Calif law, if the 2 kids involved are under 18 and with in 3 years of each other only a misdemeanor can be charged. Also, the way the law is written, the boy rapist's parents could file a complaint against the girl, who would then face the same charge as the boy in this case.



Oh, as I see that has happened. Great, now they both have the possibility of a sex offender jacket on them for the rest of their lives. Leo should have talked to the kid and parents as a father, not a Leo.

reply to post by PresumedInnocent


So why do you presume she is a whore?

So what, the kid got handcuffs put on him. Why is this even an issue?

When I was 16 I dated this girl and her dad was a sniper. I went to pick her up for our first date and he took me into his shed out back. The place was full of weaponry, rifles, scopes, pistols, bows, reloaders. If it had to do with shooting a projectile he had it, I think I even saw a sling shot.

Anyways, he shows me a paper target with 8 rounds in a group the size of a dime. He looked at me and told me that if I hurt his daughter in anyway I would never hear the shot. Meaning that he would shoot me from a very long ways away. He even showed me the bullet with my name on it and the rifle he would use.

Pffft and people are making a big deal about scaring the kid with handcuffs. This is becoming a sad little world we live in.

reply to post by ExCloud


Is the edit more to your liking_javascript:icon('')

reply to post by PresumedInnocent


Not really ,but I am not going to debate someone who calls a 14 year old a slut or a whore. When this is most likely her first or 2nd time having sex. So if this is your thoughts on girls/women no sense in commenting to you.

I think a lot of people forget what it's like to be a teenager. "Oh well I never!" "Now I have a daughter!" "My little girl" "Way to young!" Give me a break. Maybe i'm the odd one out here but I recall exactly how I was at 14 and 15. I also recall exactly how the girls my age were as well.

I can understand the cop's reaction however, it's the standard "I love my daughter" reaction. It's how all father's who care about their children react. That being said, handcuffs? Really? Yell at the guy, get his parents involved, give him a stern talking to but do not physically restrain him. I don't care if you're a cop or not, do not under any circumstances physically touch the guy.

When you meet him, sure you can scare him a bit. Show him the gun collection, sharpen the knives, let him know you're ex military or how you've got enough money you can make him disappear (had that one pulled on me once). You know what it'll do? Nothing. Why? Because the guy knows just as well as you do that you're full of it.

Now if you sit him down and speak to him like a reasonable human being he just might listen. "Hey I know you guys want to have fun but be responsible about it, make sure she's home on time and treat her like your own because one day she might be." It might make more of an impact than you think.

To the people that said they would harm the kid, I seriously hope you're just blowing hot air. Otherwise you really need to go see someone about that. Sounds like there is something not quite right upstairs.