The 'Honeymoon' Phase

I had a quick inquiry for anyone who has been in a long-term relationship. The 'Honeymoon' phase obviously ends for everyone. I am just curious to how long it lasted for everyone personally.. My girlfriend of nearly 4 years just broke up with me recently because she read an article in a magazine that said "If you don't feel the urge to rip their clothes off then its a bad thing" My question is this: should this 'urge' mean for the entire duration of the relationship or when the relationship first starts? We had an INSANE honeymoon phase that lasted for the whole year we hung out before we made it 'official' and then even up until 2 years into our relationship before things sort of cooled off.. And I feel like that is even longer than most people because we didn't have sex for 10 months until after we started dating..

Seeing as I have the longest relationship out of anyone that I know (all of our friends want us to stay together so they can have hope that they'll find someone lol), I was just wanting to get the opinions of some other people who have been in relationships for the long haul..

If my past is any indicator the honeymoon phase usually lasts for about six months, or until I get laid off from a job - whichever comes first.

Lol, I hope you don't get laid off that much... But 6 months always seems about right.. I'm just terribly confused and mad about the whole debacle..

reply to post by Ketzer22


The ripping clothes off phase ends for everyone. Your ex needs to do some growing up me thinks. Either that or she will go from relationship to relationship for the rest of her days. You're better off buddy, now get back out there and get your heart broken again!

reply to post by Ketzer22


For us it was about 15 years. After the 15th year we both settled down a little.

We have been married 36 years.

He is my very best friend and the only human I can truly depend upon and trust.

I hope I go before him.

The physical stuff is nice, but there needs to be more to a relationship.

Having someone dump you for the reason your girlfriend did sounds immature...............maybe you need to look around for someone a little more sensible.

But then again, as each decade progresses more and more people seem to be less able to commit to a long term relationship.

The chemistry is important, however as one gets older you begin to realize that trust, being able to compromise, being able to depend upon promises made and being supportive are also as if not eventually more important.

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/6668999718ad.jpg[/atsimg]

I tried scaling this down don't know if the whole thing will show.........famous painting called Romeo & Juliet by Frank Bernard Dicksee 1894

I thank everyone for their replies thus far.. 15 years for physical attraction is pretty crazy.. And yes, I do believe that every generation finding a long term relationship will become increasingly difficult given the way our media portrays promiscuity in such a positive light. (that was actually going to be a thread I was going to make, but decided to just vent about this stuff)

We had everything that I thought a good, strong relationship had and it wasn't until very recently that she began to become "bored" or what have you..

I guess we're both still young anyways, i'm 21, she's 19.. "high school sweethearts" you could say..

I don't wanna get my heart broken again lol.. its the worst

reply to post by Ketzer22


This pretty much sums up what real love is..............

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/cc80123d7364.jpg[/atsimg]

Having been married for 31 years, I don't really remember how long the honeymoon phase lasted. Your girlfriend is immature if she thinks that real love will involve that honeymoon stage forever. Then again she is young and will have to learn the hard way. Someday she will look back with regret. By then you will have found someone else.

Yeah, you can give a big "thank you" to the publishing conspiracy for filling her head with that incessant crap that you should make important / permanent decisions based on how you feel "right now."

That's how they sell cars, too.

Honestly, if you get the stuff from 1 Corinthians 13 right, you can, um, make the honeymoon phase return whenever you're feeling like having a bit of sexy time.

Our kids complain that they are too old to still take afternoon naps. But some days that is the only time the Mrs. and I have together. So everyone go to your rooms! ANd don't get up till we tell you!!!

I've been married for 6 years. I think this honeymoon period ended for us after about a year and a half. We're just doing so much, that at the end of the day, we both just want to sleep.

Also, the wife has some health issues that have taken a whack at her libido. (and she admits this).

Still though, we're soulmates, and we love each other, and occasionally that fire still flares up, enough to be healthy, but not ever enough for this guy's drive, hehe...

I've been with my wife for 12 years, married 4 of them.

The HM Phase still hasn't worn off.

I'll leave it at that.

Friends for 15 years, lived together 6, married for 2.

The "Honeymoon" might be over, but our friendship is stronger than ever.

(...and I have to agree that any womens magazine who would print and push such tripe regarding human relationships is more worthy of a burn pile than given serious consideration. )

reply to post by elevatedone


That's awesome...I don't believe you ...but if it's really so, that is great for you

I am not sure the HM phase is over for my wife and I either. Friends for 1 year, dated for 1 year, in about 4 months married for 10 years.

We do not fight a lot we might bicker from time to time but I believe that is normal human behavior. We play fight and joke around a lot though. I love that I can have fun with my wife just like a best friend and still be able to have “fun time” with that same best friend.

Sometimes it is more difficult for us to still get our chance to have “fun time” due to work schedules and her now being in school but the desire is there. I have often wondered about those people who say they only get sex once a week, month, or in some cases year. We have fun time several times a week and some times a day (when my body feels frisky).

I cannot imagine our relationship ever changing from the fun and companionship we have. I would be very sad if it ever did though.

Raist

I've posted about my wife & marriage before; I know we are far from typical. There are some times when we both feel like "mere" roommates. Yet...frau_doktor knows how to press the envelope, so to speak.

The honeymoon is a state of mind, of treating each other right, and being impatient for nookie. So it's a "mental state" that can be created anytime the two of you want. Assuming you can find reliable childcare, and a bottle of boone's farm.

reply to post by dr_strangecraft


Actually, I think you are more normal than you may realize. There just doesn't seem to be enough time in the day for my wife and I to be anything more than roommates. We do love each other, and do express it each day in little ways, but really only get a lot of romance during vacations. That said though, we do try and do little mini vacations as often as money and time allows.

Married for 13 yrs. Honeymoon lasted for a good 5 yrs, had a baby, work, work and now the kids are older and we have more time together and it's back on and better than ever! He's my best friend and there's nothing better when we just hang out and party just the two of us.

TEN MONTHS?!

Oh man!

For me its 2yrs then usually we split and cease communications.