I don't know what to believe anymore...

I know how you feel OP, it can be overwhelming at first. There is a concept in certain belief systems summed up by the Alchemical phrase "Solve et Coagula" meaning dissolve and coagulate. It is the idea that you must first rid yourself of everything you thought or believed, any misconceptions, any propaganda, any ego, before you can begin to build yourself up with the truth.

Luckily for you, you've accomplished the dissolving of previous misconceptions, now the journey of knowledge starts. There are many great places, many great videos and books.

For a beginner with no idea of where to start I would suggest "Rule by Secrecy" by Jim Marrs, it's a great book and pretty much covers everything starting from the current times all the way back to the start of history. You don't have to believe everything in the book but it will give you a good foundation and give you an idea of where to hunt next.

Good luck to you OP and Happy Hunting!! It's a long road but the sights are beautiful.