Greetings from daisy_glaze

Hi fellow members. I've been lurking for some time but due to my general shyness and fear of making some terrible misstep I've avoided posting much, plus I have a mild to moderate paranoia about anything I discuss via digital media. There were many times when I tried to share my more bizarre experiences, only to be met with repeated server crashes and lost content, both on the office network at my previous job, and right here on the web. After a while it's difficult to dismiss it as mere coincidence.

I'm female and a bit past my mid-30s, and I've had a lifetime of experiences that I simply cannot explain rationally. Long before I was ten years old I had a feeling - without fully understanding it - that there was some knowledge hidden behind what I then called an "invisible wall". I used to think that if I could only get my mind past this, I could develop and control the precognitive powers that have popped up off and on through the years. Every time I thought too hard or tried to force my way through consciously it was literally like walking into a formless wall that would halt my progress. By my late teens I stopped trying, for fear that I wasn't meant to know, though the experiences did continue.

Aside from the precognition and a random ability to visualize scenes halfway around the world in complete detail and without foreknowledge (this was verified by the first person whose life I looked into, albeit unintentionally), I'm fully aware that something has "haunted" me since childhood, following me from country to country and home to home. I'd be willing to accept that it was some kind of psychosis involving hallucinations and panic attacks, but while years of psychiatric evaluation did pinpoint certain problems, none of them fall under any of the recognized categories, though there were/are other disorders that were controlled by medication when I was compliant.

After reading dozens (or hundreds?) of posts here on ATS I started wondering if the malevolent forces I'd always considered to be otherworldly might in fact originate right here in this realm, hence my renewed interest in conspiracy theories. I can think of very few incidences that involved what are generally termed "ghosts", and scarily, some weeks ago I took a survey entitled "58 signs of alien abduction" just for laughs, but halfway through, the items I checked off seemed far from random (like the lifelong fear of open closet doors, displaced memories that terrify me even though I can't describe them visually, not being able to stare into anyone's eyes which bugs me since it probably makes me seem untrustworthy...), and the more I continued, the more memories popped up and popped into place. I'm still skeptical about it all, but it did make me sit up and think about many of the events of the early 1990s.

I have many questions and very few answers, and I would dearly love to have some feedback on some of the things I've experiences, which I hope to post in the forums sometime. Any ration explanation could put my mind at ease, especially since these things have started up again (though less in the last week since I started sleeping with a rose quartz crystal heart in my hand; I don't really believe in the power of crystals much either, but my insomnia has been almost non-existence since I started it. There's a long story connected to it, and what may or may not be two simple but alarming coincidences involving the crystal and the person who bestowed it.)

Lastly, as it might be relevant, I'm quite terrified of the occult, at least in terms of inviting anything in. I don't read material on such, I avoid discussions about Ouija boards and demons as much as possible, and despite my religious upbringing I'm not much of a believer, though I do find myself praying in times of paranormal crisis. Oddly, it usually helps, even if it's just mind over matter.

Thanks for your time, and I look forward to exchanging views with anyone with an interest.

Welcome,
You've come to the right place for weird.

Hope you get a lot out of it.

by the way,
I took the"58 signs of alien abduction" quiz and it creeped me out a bit.

I've never been abducted but a lot of that stuff applied.

I'm not worried though. Half of the members here assure me they don't exist.

yo, what up daisy? Hope you like it here, i know I do! This sight has opened my eyes!

reply to post by daisyglaze



Hi daisyglaze, and welcome to the ATS community. For now, you can reply to any thread in any member forum you wish, as well as send & receive (PM's)Private Messages to Staff only.
Once you have achieved 20 posts, you will then be able to start your own threads and additionally send & receive messages to and from fellow ATS members.


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Take your time and enjoy. If you have any questions just ask.

Sauron,
Moderator.

reply to post by daisyglaze


Hello Daisy,

Here's something for you to welcome you on ATS

Hi Daisy I'm Dizzie and welcome you to our home.

You sound like you will fit right in with the rest of the family of members.

I am very much ,looking forward to your first thread after you get your 20 posts.

By the way, when I get creeped out I remind myself that the power that is within me is greater than the power that is without.

Fear is a thief and a liar and will steal many experiences from you that you might find interesting.

Marilyn aka/Dizziedame

Originally posted by badgerprints
Welcome,
You've come to the right place for weird.

Hope you get a lot out of it.

by the way,
I took the"58 signs of alien abduction" quiz and it creeped me out a bit.

I've never been abducted but a lot of that stuff applied.

I'm not worried though. Half of the members here assure me they don't exist.

Thank you, badgerprints! I've learned a lot since I've been here and I'm looking forward to learning more.

As for the alien abduction signs, my conclusion is that in my case they might all be signs of some post-traumatic stress disorder, hence my whimsical response to final question:

Q: Do you have many of these traits, but can’t remember anything about an abduction or alien encounter?

A: "I have many of these traits; however, I have no memory nor indication that I’ve ever been abducted, contacted, or otherwise accessed by beings of extra- or inter-terrestrial origin. But I do have a number of ex-therapists who might be willing to swear under oath that my elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor."



XxRagingxPandaxX - Thanks! It's opened my eyes too. For the last few months I haven't been able to go a full day without checking in. I finally decided to sign up to see what else I might have been missing.



EFGuy - thanks for the daisy! Lovely! I've been trying to upload one for my avatar but it keeps telling me to log in, then it won't accept my password. I wonder if I need to make the 20 posts before I can do that...



Sauron - Many thanks for the greeting and the informational links. I'll definitely make use of them.


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reply to post by dizziedame


Hi Dizzie, and thank you for the warm welcome. I'm definitely looking forward to becoming a useful contributor to this community.

I know what you mean about fear. I've been trying techniques where I confront my fears (usually when I'm alone in my room at night), using possibly unorthodox methods like speaking calmly to whatever might be there, explaining that we can co-exist if it would refrain from creeping me out (I imagine it's *something* since my cat always sit up, alert, and stares in the same direction I "sense" it) but I've been afraid of getting too close. I do try to remind myself that the only thing to fear is fear itself, but sadly, I forget this when I'm actually scared.

Explantion: Flagged!

Personal Disclosure: Looking forward to sharing with you! Welcome with much love!

Originally posted by daisyglaze
EFGuy - thanks for the daisy! Lovely! I've been trying to upload one for my avatar but it keeps telling me to log in, then it won't accept my password. I wonder if I need to make the 20 posts before I can do that...

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This may help you www.abovetopsecret.com... Remember to use same password you use for ATS at media section.

reply to post by EFGuy


Thank you! I'd set my browser to keep me logged in when I first joined, and I'd been trying to access the upload section via one of my usual passwords. Hadn't remembered that it was a site-issued password until I checked the email I got on sign-up. All fixed now. Thanks again!

Hi, I am from Memphis and I am a new member also. ATS is a great community here and maybe we will stay and learn some cool things together.

reply to post by daisyglaze


Welcome Daisy - you want weird - you got it. Have fun!

Daisyglaze and Crazydaisy - lol.