Mom jailed over sex with 14-year-old son

Originally posted by Aeons
This is a known phenomena of adoption reunions, and one reason why people might wish to consider some facilitation in the process.

The punishment isn't extreme - the lack of punishment for worse or similar offences is absurdly minimized into normality.

[edit on 2010/7/13 by Aeons]

If it is a known phenomenon, then the punishment is indeed severe?

If a flood of emotions overwhelms a re-uniting family, and they don't know how to express their "love," and there is no facilitation process in place, then things like this can and do happen. I honestly do not think it is a crime. A 14 year old boy will sleep with anything! Hell, a kid once told me about having sex with watermelon, and loaves of bread, and basically anything he could stick it in!

Possibly probation, therapy, etc, but not 9 to 30 years in prison?

If you think deep down, and you believe religious "beliefs" all of us on earth technically have engaged in the same disgusting dilemma with one another without realizing it. Kinda twisted I know

reply to post by Big Raging Loner

Isn't that what they usually say weird relationship with mummy = psycho nightmare fuel!

I think that is the common misconception.

"Weird mommy relationship" is different than "sex with unknown lady that happens to be biological mother."

In nature animals frequently breed with mothers, daughters, sisters. The psycho-killer fuel comes from years and years of overbearing mommy relationship that warps a personality. It doesn't come from a few minutes of pleasureable activity that is frowned upon by society........that is, until the news of your sexual encounter hits the national news! That might be the monkey wrench that puts him over the edge?!?!?

This is a pretty crazy story. The part that bugs me most is that the mother KNEW she was seeking HER SON.
I understand there is a conditional phenomenon.. but what compels such a biological response?
I think the punishment is a little harsh honestly. If it was consensual, nobody was hurt during the act.
I would think intensive therapy and perhaps a house arrest would be a more "humane" punishment.

reply to post by Crimson_King

She has been sentenced 9 yrs to 30 years for it. All I want to know is, did the kid know this was his mom, or did he find out after? And the punishment seems more than extreme. Are there any laws on incest in US?

Police say Sword used Facebook in 2008 to find her son, who's now 16. She gave him up for adoption when he was only a few days old, the Detroit Free Press reported.

She is a sick woman and deserves the time in my opinion..

She STALKED her son on the internet, and then when she found him she decided to molest him...

Genetic Attraction?

IN MY OPINION,Not in this case...

This is a mentally disturbed predatory pedophile...

~meathead

Originally posted by Proudconservative
its called GSA. genetic sexual attraction. Its actually quite commen. People who are given up for adoption meet there family and then they find themselves sexually attracted to each other. It happens to mothers,fathers,daughters,and brothers.

Up to 50% of all people who have adoption reunion have some form of sexual attraction to there family.

I dont blame her. 30 years is too much in my opinion. what she did was wrong. But people get less for murder and rape.

The american people need to get there priorities straight.

[edit on 13-7-2010 by Proudconservative]

Interesting comments. I would be extremely curious in reading this for myself. Could you please provide links to this information?

Originally posted by ladyinwaiting

Originally posted by Proudconservative
its called GSA. genetic sexual attraction. Its actually quite commen. People who are given up for adoption meet there family and then they find themselves sexually attracted to each other. It happens to mothers,fathers,daughters,and brothers.

Up to 50% of all people who have adoption reunion have some form of sexual attraction to there family.

I dont blame her. 30 years is too much in my opinion. what she did was wrong. But people get less for murder and rape.

The american people need to get there priorities straight.

[edit on 13-7-2010 by Proudconservative]

Interesting comments. I would be extremely curious in reading this for myself. Could you please provide links to this information?

Nevermind, I looked myself. Firstly this "GSA" is not recognized by any of the official psychiatric/psychological associations. Secondly it is NOT common, it is in fact very rare, occurring not much more in the adoptive population, than in the general population. It is Incest, and child molestation any way you look at it, and is treated as such, as well it should be. I'm sure after these incidents happen, the child has a clear understanding of why he/she was not raised by the biological parent. This is very damaging, and has life long repercussions.

When this does occur, you must examine the situation. Why did the parent place the child for adoption? Often there are incidences of mental illness, criminal history, drug and alcohol addictions, and a variety of other factors which might predispose a person giving up a child to later (still) be a poor parent.

The information below is from wikipedia, and please note that the very term itself was coined by a person working with adoptions, and not a mental health affiliation.

The term GSA was first coined in the US in the late 1980s by Barbara Gonyo, the founder of Truth Seekers In Adoption, a Chicago-based support group for adoptees and their new-found relatives.[2]

GSA is presumed to occur as a consequence of adoption, when the adopted children knowingly or unknowingly encounter biological relatives. Although this is a rare consequence of adoptive reunions, the large number of adoptive reunions in recent years means that a larger number of people (about half) are affected.[3] If a sexual relationship is entered, it is known as incest, and may be distressing to both parties (see incest taboo). This phenomenon—siblings separated at birth and meeting only as adults and falling in incestuous love—is known in the folk epic, the Finnish national epic Kalevala and the tragic hero Kullervo.

GSA is rare between people raised together in early childhood due to a reverse sexual imprinting known as the Westermarck effect, which desensitizes them to later close sexual attraction; it is hypothesized that this effect evolved to prevent inbreeding.

I simply don't want anybody leaving this thread thinking that "GSA" is a real and valid diagnosis because it is not.
Thanks.

Look my first wife and I weren't married very long.
She was a Navy Nurse who after her tour was over settled in France with our daughter.
Of course I didn't know that until sixteen years later when my now adult daughter knocks at the door and says "Hi Ya Daddy!"

Needless to say it was a very heart felt reunion lots of hugs and tears...

But ya know even with it being so very emotional... we didn't have sex....

What this lady is saying is just one more new age, Baffle them with BS excuse for outrageous behaviour... period...

reply to post by getreadyalready

It doesn't come from a few minutes of pleasureable activity that is frowned upon by society........that is, until the news of your sexual encounter hits the national news! That might be the monkey wrench that puts him over the edge?!?!?

Oooooooops. You are mistaken. Incest is devastating to a child, and the repercussions are life long. To be honest, Tuesday night is my "group" for Adult Survivors of Childhood Sexual Assault". My group room on Tuesday nights is filled with women from ages 19 to 55 who have all manner of issues, still, resulting from being molested by a parent.

It is an enormous betrayal from the parent, leads to a host of issues, some life long. I would be willing to enumerate them for you if you are interested. It is much much more "than a few moments of pleasure".

Why the hell you think that is beyond me.

reply to post by ladyinwaiting


The rest of my post clarified that. I wasn't talking about molestation, and I made the statement that long-term weird relationships are very damaging.

The quote that you used was for this specific case. A one-time encounter between a 14 year old boy and a woman he had never met before (even if she is his "biological mother") is an entirely different animal than incest and abuse in a home.

I am certainly not denying how damaging sexual abuse and molestation can be when a trusted family member or caretaker is the offender. I am only stating that a consensual sexual encounter between biologically related people is drastically different than incest or abuse.

It wasn´t a mother-son relationship. It would not have happened, if
that boy had grown up with his mother. Then she would have felt
like any other mother.

For the boy this woman was just some pretty adult woman that all
his peers would dream about to make love to.

When he was told about the biological facts he would probably
perceive the affair as a wonderful mistake, still not having any
family bond with that woman. The adoptive mother was his, nobody
else. There was no force involved and, I am sure, no mental harm
done to the boy.

The relationship needs to be stopped, the woman counselled.
Prison for a love affair is ridiculous. Having sex with a minor, of
course, should have some consequence for the woman.
Would you taxpayers want to pay for another inmate of your
already 3 million for such a trivial affair ?

Germany, Switzerland, and Austria provide a maximum punish-
ment of 3 years or a fine for incestuous intercourse.

In the above case, where both have equal strength and no force
has been used, I would expect a simple fine in the 3 countries.

In some countries an adoption terminates the mother-son
relationship and therefore will not be punished. The eugenic
background, then, is of no interest to the state, since there
may be other worse congenital birth defects in other proble-
matic relationships of known hereditary defects, where the
state also has no say in forbidding intercourse.

reply to post by getreadyalready


Thank you for clarifying that. I've read your posts often, and was perplexed as to why you would approve of such a thing.

However, while I agree that an ongoing sexual relationship with a live-in parent, or one acting in the parental role can be More damaging, I don't think you can dismiss repercussions from having a sexual encounter with one's parent, if even one of the parties was aware of the relationship.

I've know teenagers who spent years looking for the biological parent, and when they found them, this happened.
It was devastating to the child. Proof to them that the real parent was truly a piece of crap, and didn't love them.
Not at all what a child wants. A child wants parental love in the usual way. Not this way.

Originally posted by Crimson_King
Are there any laws on incest in US?

Uh, what? An adult had sex with a 14 year old child and you think they got jailed because it was incest?
Wow.

It doesn't get any lower than this!!! I think there is more to the story - for instance did she tell the boy she was his Mother - where are the adoptive parents in this? Lots of unknowns but she got what she deserved!

reply to post by Udo Hohnekamp Lux.

For the boy this woman was just some pretty adult woman that all
his peers would dream about to make love to.

Maybe his peers would dream of it, but not him.
Your entire post sounds like projection.
You have no idea what this boy is experiencing. This was his MOTHER.
You just don't get it, do you?

Try this, it's called empathy.
Imagine having sex with your own mother. Just try to imagine it.
Not a very pretty sight is it?
But this boy is different? Because parental rights have been terminated, and he didn't meet her until he was fourteen, this somehow negates the fact that this is his MOTHER? He has to live the rest of his life with this fact, with these images. It is damaging.

reply to post by ladyinwaiting

Proof to them that the real parent was truly a piece of crap, and didn't love them.
Not at all what a child wants. A child wants parental love in the usual way. Not this way.

I had this thought in my mind and I didn't know how to articulate it correctly. Thank you. I think that is probably the most damaging part of the situation, and maybe it is even partly led to the severe criminal penalty.

She was probably unstable when she gave up the child for adoption, she was probably unstable when she chose to find him on facebook instead of using some, more appropriate channel, and she was certainly unstable when she chose to have sex with him! By all outward appearances, she is a 100% loser, and he is just an impressionable, hormonal, teenage boy that was happy to find his real mother.

While I can somewhat understand how a flood of emotions could produce an odd reaction like a sexual attraction, I can't understand why a grown woman would think it was appropriate to have sex with a 14 year old, especially her own son, and I agree that it certainly has confused and disappointed the boy. No doubt she is a piece of crap as you say.

reply to post by getreadyalready


No. She is an adult. She withheld that she was his mother. Her crime is a breech on many levels.

She commited a crime. She commited a terrible trauma on an older boy.

I am fine with her sentence, and while I understand I do not absolve her of it.