Women!

Okay i am here to rant about women, i just dont get it they are so bloody confusing!
okay let me explain

me and my now ex girlfriend were happily together for two year (i know two years!) and we were happy together and i have to admit she was my first love but the thing that confuses me was when we were together i got her everything she wanted, jewellery, presents, shoes, chocolate everything i took her out to the cinema and to restraunts. It was always me going to her apartment and she barely came to mine (even though its nice and clean) we did everything couples usually do, and she told me she loved me and i said it back (and meant it) but towards the end of the relationship she was always saying "lets go out somewhere" and i would take her out somewhere, she was very difficult to keep happy. I would have done anything for this girl really she is sorry was gorgeous and a lovely person but she dumped me, Why? well it was because she said she didnt love me, which is fair enough i mean things change, but when i was telling her i loved her she would always reply i love you too, why would she say it if he didnt mean it., TO SPARE MY FEELING, WELL IT DIDNT WORK, it made things worse

Damn women BE LESS CONFUSING

*dont mean to offensive*

Hi Hunter,

There's always 2 sides to every story, but from what you say, this was a very unequal relationship. It appears you did all the giving and running around. No doubt your relationship lasted so long as she was pleased with your attention and all the presents you gave her, but even this can get boring in the end.

Be yourself. Of course you must consider feelings of your partner, but a one-sided relationship is doomed from the start. You both need to share the responsibilty of the relationship and give to each other.

Good luck in the future.

Here's a tip. Be very sparing with you gifts to women.

They generally aren't worth the money you spend on them because they don't see things the same way we do.

Dude i agree with the part about you being a little more cautious with your generosity (I've made the same mistakes).

But in her defense, have you ever been in a situation where you've stopped loving your partner? if you haveyou;d realise you want to always make sure thats the case before you change anything because its something thats hard ot admit to and something thats hard to take back

Hi Hunter, I'm going to be blunt, just so you know this and understand that what I'm about to say, don't take it personal ok.
Your x-girlfriend "played" you for everything she could get before moving on to greener/wilder pastures. You were TOO nice and good to her and she took everything that you so lovingly gave from the heart and pocket and the whole time, she was watching for a "bad-boy" that enjoys the wild-side of life. She used you, dude , until she found a" bad-boy to hookup with. The funny thing about wanting to walk on the wild side is, a lot of these "bad-boy" types are only out there looking for one of three things from a woman that shows interest in a "bad-boy". 1. A woman that has money and will spend it on the guy or give it to him when he ask, 2. A woman that will "give-it-up" on the first night, and he will use until he grows tired of her, 3. A woman that behaves in the manner that a "bad-boy" does , and ( some guys find that a woman that can "handles" herself, and carries herself in a certain way, very sexy ) , he will normally stick with her for sometime.
So here you have it; 1. the nice guy/girl type and 2. the bad-boy/girl type, then there's the 3. curious-george/georgie "type" of person that would like to see what it's like to walk on the wild-side.

You, my friend fit into the "nice guy" group. You treat a woman with the upmost respect, shower her with flowers and gifts, take her out whenever she mentions she'd like to go out here or there or do this or that and you acommendate her every whim, BUT see, SHE was looking for EXCITEMENT.

Now you, Hunter, need to sit down with a notepad ( be totally honest in the answers you write down ), and make two (2) colliums, like this ---------->
>
What I brought to the relationship, , What She brought to the relationsh.,
--------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------

Then list everything YOU DID in the relationship , to make it happy and loving .

Then list everything SHE DID in the relationship, to make it happy and loving.

After you list everything for both you and her, next you need to start the list again for both of you and list EVERYTHING , you and she DIDN'T DO in the relationship. Be TOTALLY HONEST IN YOUR ANSWERS !

I'm pretty sure your not going to like what you see, when your done ! When you see how selfish and " ME ME ME", one-sided it was , you will be able to get over her a lot easier.

But remember, my friend, everything you learned about this girl thats not good, don't forget anything ,because SHE may try to return and pickup where she left off , with you , AFTER she is dumped by a "bad-boy", when he's done using her ! Do you want her to do it again to you , that is the question you need to ask your self !

I do want you to understand that NOT all women behave as your x-girlfriend does and has. There a really good women out there looking for a really good man.


AS for Krazyjethro's remark,........ Not all women are users, and it will be hard for a man to find the right( good ) woman, if he's a CHEAP-DATE, and
GOD made both sex s to be different, and mysterious in the way they act, talk, etc. If God wanted all humans ,... to act the same, think the same, do the same things, there would be NO NEED for two sex s and God would of just made men ( no women) and the men would of all be " GAY ", therefore, GOD made man then made man a help-mate which is women.

If a man was able to understand everything about a woman, and a woman about a man, life may become quite boring, instead of being able to bring "spice" to the relationship to keep it interesting.

[Edited on 10-6-2004 by nanna_of_6]

But then again, maybe she just fell out of love !

I highly suggest homosexuality

Highly.

No lady problems then

"When you are able to understand cat's, then will you be allowed to understand woman." Lord_Doom

Love and hate is a fine line with them, and I was in the same type of situation at one time. My dad, brother and friends tried to warn me that I was being played for a complete fool, but I wouldn't have any of it and damn they were right.

nanna_of_6 is right, you treated her with too much respect, we all know that the nice guys finish last. Ever notice how woman stick by some guy that treats like crap? and will ditch the nice guy...

I think they get bored because nice guys are not a challenge.. You have already been tamed sort of. Showering with gifts and such, is a mistake number 1, because it seems like your trying to "Buy" her. Maybe this makes them feel like a call girl, He only wants me because of sex, not because he loves me... The bad boys don't do this, I know my brother was one of them. He would lie, make up stories and all kinds of b.s.. and they would buy it.

I guess us men figure this is away to show that we love them, this not needed and this is a mistake on our part, until we learn otherwise.

Back off on being the super nice good guy and be yourself, you'll be surprised of the results... I know I was...


Lord_Doom


clwndnc:

2 years is a long time to play somebody, and a friend of mine just went through the same thing, only for his girlfriend to end up with his best friend not two days after she broke up with him because he, 'played to many video games'.

There�s a point in the relationship where you want to spend every second with them, or no time at all. Maybe she hit a realization that your relationship wasn't going where she wanted to for your futures... realization is a bitch when it smacks you like that. Then again, maybe she was playing you... I just hate that women are labeled as money grubbing self centered b****es just because a few are greedy and shallow like that.

It amazes me that as soon as a girl dumps a guy who treated her nice, its always because of the money or gifts... not because maybe she just... omg... lost interest?

It honestly to me sounds like she got bored, if she was always asking for you two to go other places, maybe she needed a change or variety.

Don't get discouraged... I think men fall in love harder than women anyways... I'm sure you'll love again, and hopefully she'll be well worth it, because if she dumped you, it's her loss.

[Edited on 12-6-2004 by DamnableSara]

Don't buy women anything.


End of story.

Originally posted by DamnableSaraI just hate that women are labeled as money grubbing self centered b****es just because a few are greedy and shallow like that.

oh more than a few are, many "bad boys" are created in response to women being that way and us nice guys give up, become bitter, think love is bs and then only look for emotionless sex from women they will only see once and the only relationship they want with women is friends or friends with benefits and us guys fall far easier than women realise, we just hide it easier from women when we're hurt.

p.s: im not saying im that way, its just an observation.

[Edited on 13-6-2004 by namehere]

realization is a bitch when it smacks you like that. Then again, maybe she was playing you... I just hate that women are labeled as money grubbing self centered b****es just because a few are greedy and shallow like that.
....................................................................................................................

DamnableSara is correct in what she stated:-> hate that women are labeled as money grubbing self centered b****es just because a few greedy and shallow like that.

Us women are labeled in this way because of some women (used loosely), but all women are not like that, that is fact !
Honestly, all a "nice/good man " would actually need to do, is treat a woman "right", start a "give and take" relationship and work from there, but, the guy should always watch for signs in the woman he's dating,ie; behavior , speech, etc. . The same goes for "nice/good women " thats looking for the "real deal" in a man.

Example: I've been in a relationship for 4 yrs now. Every evening for 4 years I have cooked my fiance his meals and taken it out to him where he works, we live together, I take care of the household duties, he works and pays the bills for the house. I have a small income of my own and he has a large income. I use my money for my personal bills , what I want to spend my money on and I buy food for the house. He will give me his "bank card" to go buy things that he wants while he's at work and tells me to get "whatever" I want or take some money out of his acct, to use anyway I want, normally, I will only buy what he asks me to get for him. If I need something and don't have money, then I'll ask him for the money, BUT it's only when I NEED something NOT "WANT" something.
I am with him because I love him deeply and completely and he knows this, thats why he wants to share his money with me but I refuse to be the kind of woman that TAKES everything that he has to offer. He gets REALLY upset with me sometimes for not excepting everything that he wants to buy for me and I always have to remind him that I'm not with him for his money and I do not feel right excepting everything he wants to give me but the day we marry is the day I'll feel right about excepting his money and everything else.
He is one of these "nice/good" guys that had been used before buy three different women , one of these women managed to siphon $46,000.00 in cash out of his accounts within a 4 month marriage and a 1 yr relationship to him before going back to her x-husband and filing for a divorce, not to mention all the money he spent on her for dinners, clothes, etc,.... .

I am not like that , he has realized this and he brags to any and all that he has finally got hisself a "good/nice" woman, that wants him and not his money.

I have always been a "nice/good" woman, but I had also fell into the wanting a "bad boy" mode, when I was younger, I had learned through experince how to tell a "nice/good" man from the "bad boys", then decided that I had enough of the "bad boys" living on the edge/wild life about 11 years ago. I am very happy and content with my life and with the GOOD man that I have.

It is just not WOMEN that play games and use, it is also MEN that do it too. We are not that hard to understand and figure out.

The "nice/good" man needs to look for a woman that behaves in the same manner that they (man) do and they will find their match in that way.
Anyone can "fake" their behavior if they want a certain man/woman, but they can only "fake/pretend" for so long before the real person submerges.

[Edited on 13-6-2004 by nanna_of_6]

Ahhh my friend my friend...im sorry you have learned the hard way. there is but one lesson that all should teach their children before they fall in love....



girls suck.


bottom line. girls suck.

and so do women, so dont think that by being over 18 you suddenly get out of the "girls suck" clause

out of the worlds female population, only about 5% of girls dont suck. i mean, there is always something that will piss you off. everything will seem good at first, but then, out comes that one fatal flaw that destroys your happiness. often times this one fatal flaw is another guy.

and thus, i refer back to my previous statement.....

girls suck.

so dance like this can of spam!

Sometimes people get so use to saying "I love you" that it just becomes a reflex responce without any emotion behind it. That is why my gf and I don't believe in saying, "I love you too". The 'Too' implies that it is merely a responce that is conditional on the first person saying it.

we were together i got her everything she wanted, jewellery, presents, shoes, chocolate everything i took her out to the cinema and to restraunts

Bad, bad move.... I mean why? What use is all that material stuff? Is she a prostitute? Does she need to be paid for her time with you? No, I would say this is one habit you need to drop.

Sounds like she wanted lots and lots of attention during and at the end of the relationship. She hit that stage where you were actually in competition with someone else. The other person gave more attention and talked a good game to her and she decided to go where the attention was highest. That's generally the truth of it. She was 2 years in and realized you were, say it with me...NOT GOING TO CHANGE.

Trust me, there are others women out there not like that. They may be hard to find, but they are there. Good luck and don't look for it. That is when it happens.

From experience, I can say that sometimes you just fall out of love.

Be glad you weren't married, then it really gets messy and hurtful. I agree with the posters who said that you get into the saying "I love you too" trap and you have to be totally sure before you can tell someone, "I don't love you anymore."

Being in this situation now, just thought I'd share my thoughts.

Hi Hunter

I have been going out with my girl friend for 7 years we have broken up a few times but got back together maybe this is a partime separation thing? women are like that.

there is a certain amout of attachment that comes with being in a long term relationship. personally, with my first love the love had died but we both kept clinging on and hurting each other even though we knew it wasn't going to work. if I hadn't walked away we'd prolly still be in that cycle to this day. he was very giving but the stuff wasn't even the issue. i had feelings for him but they didn't stand the test of time. now, he says i stayed for the comfort and sercurity but really he was all i knew and i didn't know how to let go.

I don't think this situation had anything to do with the gifts, although, it does seem like it was a tad overdone (things can never replace affection that's something my ex had to learn because he thought if he screwed up a lil of this or that could fix it). I think sometimes lust is mistaken for love and when that's gone there is nothing behind it...no real connection.

to say that this is a "girls suck" thing is a lil unfair to women because you guys look back on all the things you've done when its over and feel betrayed. it doesn't mean our main goal was to get stuff. when you offer it freely you can't come back and say we were playin u for the stuff. And asking to go out doesn't equal being a gold-digger, either. we like to go out and do stuff...now, I like to offer to pay but when i was younger it was just assumed that he would pay. and, even when i offer you guys always turn it down...we can't win for losing.

Me being female myself, she sounded like a lurvly girl ( i joking).

I agree with wot alot of other people are saying she 'played' you, i ahve never done so myself but i know girls that dont really care and get everything they want.

All os us arnt that confusing!!! trust

I sense that one mistake you committed was to make yourself TOO available. All humans of all genders want what is precious. They detest the commonplace.

Look at it this way:
If you are buying Xmas presents for a child, imagine that the child has a limit to his/her appreciation index, say from 1 to 10. If you give the kid one gift, they put a value of 10 on it. But you get the kid 4 things, and then they are only worth 2.5 apiece!

The most appreciated gift I ever gave was probably a string of pearls to the Frau Doktor. It was on a Xmas when we were hard-pressed financially. But I had saved the money, and that was the only gift I gave ANYONE that year. She still wears them with great ceremony and pride.

In a larger sense, I think you deprived her of mystery, which is the most valued resource. There is a fine line between exciting mystery and threatening mystery; but mystery fascinates us.

The relationship is over when you have nothing left to talk about between you. If she no longer finds you mysterious, that's it.