So what advice would you give god, if god was a human on the planet

Dear God.....Why did you place the anus to close to the goody basket? Really. Could you not have made the anus behind the knee or maybe make humans like snakes (where we completely utilize all nutrients with very little waste). Why? Whhhhhyyyyyyy?

Originally posted by brilab45
Dear God.....Why did you place the anus to close to the goody basket? Really. Could you not have made the anus behind the knee or maybe make humans like snakes (where we completely utilize all nutrients with very little waste). Why? Whhhhhyyyyyyy?

Well,
to create
all the planets
bilogical doubling
was used to grow them
from the excretia of bacteria.

Yes, I'm saying that planet Earth is
just one big pollished turd, a garden on
the surface, but a big condensend dookie.

As to sex, when I invented those we
were all just self dividing ameoba
but I got in a fight, won, but was
badly wounded and one of my
internal organs was hangin
out. An amoeba let me
hide it inside her, and
I went all the way
inventing the
eucaryotic
cell.


David Grouchy

reply to post by davidgrouchy


That was good Grouchy God. You should start Grouchybot.com. It has a good ring to it.

God give me the power to cleanse the world of corruption and fraud and restore the rule of law and order.

1. God stay away from Al Gore
2. God stay away from Al Gore
3. God stay away from Al Gore

Wow these religous mongers... seem to be really hating on this... I'm pretty sure God preached tolerance and understanding, I also believe "god created man in his image" Has anyone met the perfect human? Like this perfect god that cannot take advice because he knows all... even though we people who can't explain fully some of the most simple phenomenon were created in his image.

If God came down for a visit i'd ask him to go play skeeball and have our discussion there, I'd suggest that God allow those who wish to be away from a certain place the right to do so at whatever time they wish, but they may also have the freedom to be somewhere that they aren't wanted granted their intentions are good.

Originally posted by Dark Ghost

Originally posted by hautmess
This isnt a "what would you say to god" post or "if you could ask god anything" post. this is a what advice would you give to him/her to help create a heaven on earth instead of hell?

Oh, my bad. In that case, eliminate all pain and suffering, injustice, oppression and hate. But make every creation of this planet with self-awareness understand and put into practice concepts such as love, compassion and integrity. Remove the capability for creations to do evil things to other creations, but instil the idea that treating others with respect and fairness is the best way to live and the most fulfilling.

[edit on 5/5/2010 by Dark Ghost]

forget super natural powers. if god was a human like one of us. only capable of knowing what the average person knows.. say you realised you were god, what would you think the next step would be.

you guys are not answering the question i asked..

If god was a human, who had lead a human life up until recently and was able to realize his existence within this human body.. still being in the construct of his teaching reality, so now realization that he has magic powers and such but here as a human to complete a task and to learn. (so no magic powers of whatever, still a human..) what do you think the next steps would be.

grouchy so this could explain why women are retarded and selfish where as men truely in the back of their minds are all longing for a companion or their "organ back" and women have double of a certain organ because during a point in evolution some cloned self replicating bacteria which all humans derive from decided to attack eachother damaging one which made it different from all the other bacteria but it survived deformed, it was able to keep reproducing thanks to the fact that it kept it's wound sealed by the body of another bacteria.

Take your own advice and see how well that works out for ya. that would be my advice.

Dear God,

Thanks for you blessings and gift of life. And thanks for giving mankind free will, the freedom to learn and experience the complexities of life, which ultimately in the end lead us back to You.

I am a sinner, had sinned, and am prepared to pay the price with my life for the iniquities i have done to others. But please spare the others, for they are innocent, know not what they do and are only ignorant or wilful. They too will find the path back ultimately, as many had done.

May Your mighty hands and infinite power overcome and protect the innocents, the children and children yet to come, from all that seeks to harm them.

This i humbly plead. Amen.

(PS: This is something personal between me and the Almighty. Didnt want to post it, but only to share an insight with the OP and to some of those who may be bewildered. Flame the nobody and insignificant me please if any wants, its your right, but leave my personal prayer alone. Thanks)

Originally posted by Chamberf=6
reply to post by hautmess

 

Maybe to stop drinking so heavily that he blacks out and forgets who he is.

If I could give ye a star, I would say ne, I will ne stop until ye geet a consteelation

God I know you advocate and ....your only commandment is to by virtue.... of free will ....LOVE.
But oh why " did you allow an outcome whereby"It is accepted the Germans have no sense of humour.
And whereby it is allowable that 'jews write almost every so called humorous movie script/play."couldnt ya of at least asked the Dutch?
We dont all find Woody Allen funny ,and some of us are not Polish.

Do not talk out against looney anglo american empire, they will kill you even if you just hate them in your mind, and do nothing to them, they are that looney.

God"Please have mercy on looneys"

..... join ATS and subtlely bring Your

Kingdom and glory into our lives ...

reply to post by hautmess

So what advice would you give god, if god was a human on the planet and just realizing how the devil is quickly gaining control of his playground earth.

Don't create a sentient species for your own enjoyment. Not everyone wanted to get created to kiss your ass day in and day out or be punished for exercising their free will you supposedly gave them.

That's about all I can think of telling that self righteous pompous infantile buffoon.

I'd probably tell him he's fraked and to get a bunker asap filled with guns, ammo, rations, and clean drinking water ahhahaha

Oh and buy gold and have it in possession....

I say "watcha gunna do, watcha gunna do when they come for you?"

reply to post by hautmess


I would advise him or her to eliminate all money transfers, return them all living creatures within this little universe to nontechnology ways to prevent any future advances in war weapons used to create power out of fear. And hang out until everything is finalized and set in concrete as to asure their lifestyles on Earth are on the correct path and please make a way for them to communicate with him or her at anytime as to prevent anymore questions about his or her existance.....

[edit on 5/5/10 by Ophiuchus 13]

Roll a blunt,

Don't worry,

Be happy.