Why Dont We Feel Anything When Loved One Dies

reply to post by Mrknighttime32



I am so sorry to hear of your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

But, please don't think that there is something wrong with you and try not to lose faith in everything you have believed up until now, just because you didn't wake up or get some other type of sign or feeling at the moment when your mom passed.

Although it's true that some people do somehow know at the very moment when a loved one passes, most people do not. Most people don't know or feel a thing until they actually get that phone call from someone else who gives them the news.

I have been there and I know how much it hurts when you lose someone you love. But I also know that your mom does not want you to hurt. And more than anything, I think that this is probably the reason why she did not "wake you up" when she passed.

You said that you believe that there is something after this life, so I think the main thing is for you to try to remember at this point is that she is not "gone." She has only moved on to a different plane of existence, one where she is free of the body which had been causing her so much pain, and she will be there waiting for you. When your time comes, which may not be for many, many years yet to come, but when your time finally does come, your mom will be there to meet you and you will be reunited once again. I like to think of death as a doorway. And your mom has simply walked through that door, but rest assured, she is waiting for you on the other side.

And in the meantime, even in the midst of your grief, be sure to look around you and stay aware, because I will guarantee that she is with you even now.

reply to post by Mrknighttime32


I have tried for a long time to figure out what the point is. Its something that if you dwell on too long it will drive you insane. I think the point is that we are here to learn and expierience this universe. I think we maybe do have a path to walk and people have to find thier own one. Everyones is different.

Your mom never came to say goodbye becuase she hasn't gone anywhere. She is still with you everyday. All you need to do is close your eyes. Just remember the times you smiled together. She will be there as long as you need her.

Personnally I have no belief in death. We are just starting a new Jouney. We have an infinite number of places to visit.

(On a side point. My own mom is very old now. She goes to sleep every night and leaves her cellphone on beside her. She does this because she has a fear that someone , somewhere in the middle of the night might need to get in contact with her. I find this really unhealthly. It also doesn't help with the odd drunk ringing the wrong number in the small hours of the morning. I always turn off my cell. When I lay my head down I am disconnected and thats it. )


peace be with you all.

Thanks for all the replies. After my mom passed everything just started to crumble . I mean everything that could go wrong in your life thats what happen to me. And I just started thinking. I always thought that maybe she would be the one once she died to guide me into the right direction. And I just figured that I missed the connection that we were supposed to have because I dont feel like I being guided anywhere. I feel opposite like Im headed down a dark whole. I do hear what you guys are saying though and it will really help with making things a little easier for me. Blessings to all of you. Feel free to still respond to my thread as I know that I am not the only one going through this. I will be on everyday to see what you guys have said and to converse with you also. This might be the thing I need.

Originally posted by Mrknighttime32
Thanks for the replies its not that I didnt feel anything when I found out its just the fact that I always thought that somehow I would feel if something was wrong or if she left me . Its just a scary feeling

I understand this feeling. A woman I grew up with, and was extremely close to for over 40 years of our lives, was murdered last year, and I live in a different state so the news was slow in getting to me. She'd already been dead for 36 hours before I knew anything had happened to her.

The hell of it is that we had always been in cahoots that if one or the other of us passed, we'd let the other one know what was up on the other side before anything occurred to prevent that level of contact. We also were "tarot buddies" for decades and into all manner of metaphysical investigation. I'm still stunned that after she died, she never even showed up in a dream.

They say that the potential for afterlife communication rest with the living, and not with the amount of effort expended by the dead. I am confident that she's tried to contact me, and that my ability to receive is simply non-existent. That could be the situation with you and your mom. We aren't built to be able to receive such communication, and those who can are likely malformed in their own wonderful way.

It sucks to be so normal when something like this happens.

[edit on 1-5-2010 by NorEaster]

Originally posted by onequestion
Don't worry man. Death isn't real, anything finite is an illusion of time and life. Some people will think negatively, but don't worry. The cool thing is when they die, they end up within the infinite so it is like they were never actually really alive anyway. You will realize this when you evolve, or die or whatever you are conscious of.

True, this is essence. When you die you realize that everything is no biggy, its just expirience.