In Praise of Johnny Anonymous, the Man, the Myth, the Legend!

Sigh.. Considering all the threads wearing me out. Thank you again for putting a smile on my face.

You are level headed and an asset to ATS.

^PT

[edit on 4/21/2010 by madmangunradio]

Originally posted by madmangunradio
Sigh.. Considering all the threads wearing me out. Thank you again for putting a smile on my face.

You are level headed and an asset to ATS.

^PT

[edit on 4/21/2010 by madmangunradio]

ATS is a great place and not devoid of humor!

Glad you enjoyed the thread, just think in another few weeks, we can look forward to Asala and Ashley D reporting on some of the more tedious threads, and saving us the wear and tear!

reply to post by ProtoplasmicTraveler

What were we talking about again Jackflap???

I believe we were engrossed in a discussion about one of the pillars of our very society, Johnny Anonymous. This man has done more for bringing the truth to light then the nine eleven commission could ever even imagine! Ok, maybe that is a bad analogy but you get where I'm coming from.

One time in Idaho we were hot on the heels of finding out the truth about how the drowned body of a man was found in a different lake than the one he had drowned in. It was a local legend of how the body of a man who drowned in Lake Coeur d'Alene was discovered in Hayden Lake. Or was he drowned in Hayden and found in Pend O'reille? Or any combination of these stories. We had even heard that Priest Lake was even thrown into a version.

Anyhow, Johnny was not fooled. He realized right away that what was going on in Idaho had something to do with teleportation and or time travel. Donning scuba gear, Johnny uncovered an ancient underground cave that housed a time traveling device of such importance that he wanted to get it back to ATS as soon as possible.

Thinking quickly, he realized that he had a hang glider in the trunk. I couldn't let the moment escape without taking some archival footage of Johnny bravely flying away with the device, so I set up a camera to documente the historic event.



Yes, that was me rushing to Johnny's aid. It seems as though when Johnny rolled over he accidentally engaged the time traveling device and sent us both to 1934 Berlin. That is why the video cut off, whatever powered the device that Johnny had found, it fried the camera. In any event, it was a heck of a time getting back to our own time after we realized we needed new batteries for the device.

So we ended up in a local cafe eating schnitzel and laughing hysterically about a portrait of the Furor that was hanging on the wall! It was a grand time and full of mischievous tamperings with history. Yes indeed, those were the good old days. Get well soon Johnny.

reply to post by jackflap


Wow this English Toffee is out of this world Jackflap, you should try it!

Oh wow are those Quail Eggs!

Oh my, a bottle of Samuel Smith's Imperial Stout! Where does all this stuff keep showing up from?

I tell you after eating and drinking all this, I wish I could just kick back and watch the Conspiracy Chicks tell me about what's going on, on ATS!

What was that you were saying about Johnny again?

reply to post by ProtoplasmicTraveler

What was that you were saying about Johnny again?

I was reminding you of all the heroic exploits of Johnny Anonymous! Yes he is the beacon of hope that is guiding our existence. His calm demeanor and slightly confrontational way of speaking exhibits a wisdom that surpasses the ages. He is truly the epitome of the salt of the earth.

Which reminds me of the time Johnny and I found ourselves in quite a conundrum in a rural town. We had just escaped from a local prison where we had been held on charges of trespassing. Trespassing was never our intent at the onset of our investigation but then again, Johnny does what needs to be done.

Johnny knew he couldn't wait for a trial or make phone calls. He wanted out of that prison and there is no place that could hold Johnny for long. He quickly set about tricking the gaurd to get too close to the bars and subdued him and relieved him of the cell keys. Upon leaving we noticed a motorcycle with the keys in it.

Thinking quickly we were about to take the vehicle when we were approached by mob of people! They started asking us if we were the motorcycle guys that were coming to town that day. So as to provide cover for us, I said that we were indeed the motorcycle guys that were supposed to be putting on a show that very day.

Well, I've never seen a mob of people so determined as to demand that they be shown a motorcycle stunt that very instant. We were out numbered and I had already gotten us into this mess so I agreed. I asked one of the kind spectators if they could provide me with a sizable piece of wood so as to fashion a ramp. I was quickly handed a board and I had to think of what to do next. So we kinda winged it. I put the board on my back and...and, oh hell just watch the video. One of the spectators let me keep a copy of the video she made.



It didn't end all bad though. I had a walking concussion for eight days but we did get out of there. The townspeople were applauding us the whole way. They really got a kick out of that stunt.

So after that me and Johnny headed to a Burger King and ate whoppers with cheese by the platter full! We washed them down with ice cold root beers and laughed histerically about the policeman that we left locked in that cell!

Whew! I have to say that I am VERY glad to hear that Johnny is still with us, I had been off in RL for a bit as well and one of the things I noticed upon my return was the absence of Johnny!

It was a fantastic surprise to see that Asala and Ashley D will be doing the CC show, I am full support of them both!

I do bet Johnny is planning his return and to do a montage with the Conspiracy Chicks...

Hey! I said montage!

reply to post by antar


I'm so glad you were able to weigh in on this triumphant thread antar. I share your enthusiasm about Johnny's imminent return. He truly is the greatest asset to our civilized world that man kind has ever known. I just returned from helping him clip his toenails as we reminisced about the old times.

Aside from having to see the doctor to dislodge a stray clipping from my eye, it was a very encouraging encounter to say the least. He is almost prepared for his valiant return and wanted me to ensure everyone that all is well and that the truth shall be known. Yes indeed, he seemed to be back on his game and even brought up the time when we recovered a stolen freighter from a foreign port.

The freighter was extremely important as it housed the remnants of a crashed space vehicle of some kind. The freighter had belonged to a friend of Johnny's who was tasked with transporting the wreckage to a private laboratory on the south Jersey shore where it could be examined and documented properly for the betterment of man kind. The powers that be would have no part of this and promptly commandeered the vessel while silencing everyone about the incident.

Being the light of justice that Johnny is, he quickly formulated a plan to get the freighter back into the hands of the rightful owner! We staked out the port where the freighter was being detained for two full nights before we implemented Johnny's heroic plans. I was to utilize a tug boat that a brave citizen lent to us for a small fee and Johnny was to command the freighter itself.

Taking action, we immobilized the paramilitary troops that were guarding the freighter with blow guns and venomous darts that we obtained from a distant tribe of indigenous peoples on an uncharted island in the Pacific. All was going accordingly and victory was in sight! Johnny had never been on this particular freighter before and the controls were foreign to him. We didn't have the time to get acquainted with the controls as we would have liked to so we hurriedly went about getting the freighter into the open sea.

I believed we were in position at the time that I gave Johnny the command to fire up the props and escape into horizon! We were using two way radios and no sooner had I given the command when, well you'll see. The brave citizen who lent us the tug boat was documenting our escape with a camera that we provided him.



Oh how we laughed! It seems Johnny pulled the wrong lever and sent the anchor straight into the deck of the tug boat. After Johnny retracted the anchor and I was on board the freighter we sailed off into the wild blue yonder. The owner of the tug boat could be heard cheering us on, or was he cursing us?

I couldn't tell but we waved to him enthusiastically as we made our departure. I'm not sure if we ever did pay him though. On our journey we prepared mulligatawny soup in the galley and filled our bellies as we laughed non stop about that tug boat owner! Yes those were the best of times. Come back soon Johnny.