Why can't I go back? Meditation Questions

Hey recently I've been meditating more and more and getting more and more benefits out of it, reaching a deeper state and the like. About 2 weeks ago something happened while I was in my deepest state yet, I could hear my own heartbeat growing louder and louder until everything flashed white and for a few seconds I had a perfect moment of clarity, it was the most beautiful thing I've ever experienced and after I just sat there basking in the nothingness for some time.

After wards I felt more relaxed and enlightened then ever, it was like I don't know hearing the heartbeat of the universe or something. Anyways the next day I had to travel for business and failed to meditate for a few days. When I got back home and started meditating again, I couldn't do it, not the heartbeat thing again but meditate at all. I was getting none of the peace like normally and it just felt like I was sitting there, even getting bored. It has been a week since then and still I can not fall into even the lightest state and unfortunately I am getting more and more frustrated, which I know is not helping. But I literally sit there for and hour or two trying to get into it but nothing happens....

So my questions are, what was the state I reached and how come now I cannot even fall into the most basic of states now? I thought after that moment meditation would be better. Please, any advice would be appreciated. I haven't started smoking more or drinking more. My mantra which I use for the first 10 minutes or so to help calm me down hasn't changed either.

Anyways, thanks again for any advice.

reply to post by Occy Anonymous


Just sit in full lotus that will intensify your concentration greatly.

After this: www.abovetopsecret.com... happened to me, I was not able to sit peacefully for a while. I could not gain that clear feeling anymore. I still have a hard time, but its coming back slowly.

I think that sometimes the most intense experiences take some form of a toll on our spiritual constitutions.

Well if you are trying hard to reach that same state, it is rare because you are trying so hard to get to that state, and that state you cannot reach because you need an ease of mind to reach it. I think you reached a moment of enlightenment from your description. You cannot always reach that state 100% during meditation. My suggestion is do what you did before you reached that state, and don’t focus so much on reaching that state. Just let it happen.

[edit on 20-3-2010 by Maddogkull]

reply to post by Occy Anonymous


You might want to change your position. Perhaps try lighting some incense and/or candles and maybe try to do it after a hot shower or bath. Try having yourself already relaxed that way when you try meditating it's easier for you to fall into your states. Also, did anything of significance happen on your trip?

IMO, your answer is in your own words. You are "trying" to do it. There is a portion of your mind that is preoccupied with hitting the mark and it's prohibiting you from going deep enough to reach your goal.

Don't expect or desire it to happen. Go with the flow.

My best suggestion is that you really consider obtaining a good set of meditation CD's to help you meditate.

Try Hemi-Sync at hemi-sync.com, or the Ultra Meditation series at mind-tek.com.

Ah thank you all for the advice so far, I feel it could really help. I normally sit in the Burmese position, so I shall try the full lotus next time.

I'm glad to hear I'm not alone here, hopefully things will come back to normal soon. It does feel like I drained myself a little bit.

Yeah at first I was trying to get back into the same state but lately I've just been going for any state, like before the heartbeat... Maybe I am trying to hard though, it was a beautiful thing and hard to shake off... I'll go out this weekend and buy some incencse and the like, nothing major happened on trip, I got a new missus, but I've meditated before while I've been dating, and this one doesn't feel any different. But I think that was the biggest change in my life lately...

Again thanks for everything, hopefully time will help...

reply to post by Occy Anonymous


Your wanting it too bad. You have to let go. It'll come back, nothing has changed. Give it some time. Rest abit.

No worries.

OneElectric: Your experience sounds excactly like mine, the Zen state, listening to the universe, the smile, the white light, everything sounds the same, except I focused on seeing the eternal Tao and not god, but still very similar I believe. The ghost like figure I saw however was Osiris. I don't know how I know, but as soon as I saw him all I could think was Osiris.

I'm glad its getting back to normal for you mate.