Real life Ex's versus Online Ex's

What is the difference between the real life infidelity from an ex or cyber infidelity with an internet ex?
Back in the day when two people fell in love there was the problem of the ex. Who resided in the same city, and could have an effect on the new relationship. Causing problems if especially one of the people in the relationship was still talking with their ex.
Now with the world of internet well many have internet relationships which can get well…. in depth and I was wondering if the internet ex could cause problems especially one of the people in the relationship was still talking with their ex.
I’m thinking talking to the ex isn’t a problem…..I’m thinking talking to the ex is a problem….hmmmm….can anyone help?
So does it matter if they are old flame or old internet flame??
Should we still have communication with them?
Please help me understand. Is there a gray area that I am not seeing?


[edit on 18-3-2010 by BlackMustang]

[edit on 18-3-2010 by BlackMustang]

What is the difference between the real life infidelity from an ex or cyber infidelity with an internet ex?
Back in the day when two people fell in love there was the problem of the ex. Who resided in the same city, and could have an effect on the new relationship. Causing problems if especially one of the people in the relationship was still talking with their ex.
Now with the world of internet well many have internet relationships which can get well…. in depth and I was wondering if the internet ex could cause problems especially one of the people in the relationship was still talking with their ex.
I’m thinking talking to the ex isn’t a problem…..I’m thinking talking to the ex is a problem….hmmmm….can anyone help?
So does it matter if they are old flame or old internet flame??
Should we still have communication with them?
Please help me understand. Is there a gray area that I am not seeing?


[edit on 18-3-2010 by BlackMustang]

There is a gray area.

The onset of the internet has allowed for support for some and as well has allowed for misinterpretation of past experience.

While an attention to the internet may indeed cause for an attention away from personal relationships it doesn't mean that the real life relationship is invalid or in danger of being compromised...

I don't know the exact circumstances but an integration of web sense seems to be the wave of the future...my two cents...

Well, while I respect the idea of this theoretical relationship, I don't believe it to be equivalent to a live physical relationship in almost any sense. I mean, written word and some pictures or video is hardly the same as sleeping next to someone and talking about random subjects all night.

Physicality is an enormous part of any relationship...

Having said that, I guess I can try to answer your question in the best way I know how:

Any relationship you've ever had, if it was a good one, sticks with you forever. I don't care if you're married with children or anything. Love is love and you love that person forever in some way. Which means that every time you contact that person, even if you don't realize it, there are tiny little synapsis in your brain telling you, "this is my mate... this is the person who makes everything better."

I'd say drop the old contact. What once was might have been incredible, but it could also make you sabotage yourself for future happiness.

Communication isn't infidelity.

Heavy emotional involvement and/or sexual activity is where the infidelity occurs.

So, yes, if there is a lot of emotional involvement over the internet, I could certainly see how a spouse would deem that as cheating.

[edit on 22-3-2010 by Gazrok]

I think it can only cause problems if you let it. Emotional infidelity is definetly just as bad as sexual. Your sharing part of yourself thats only meant for the person you are with. And to be honest, internet ex's are just harder to get rid of! Mine stalked me and did nasty things to me for months before I finally was able to get rid of him.

But obviously internet relationships versus real life relationships are different. You wont fully know or understand that person until you've spent days going to bed with eachother, waking up with eachother, doing day to day things.

Yes real life relationships versus internet relationships are different but could feel the same and end with the same result. With a result of the break up, or the end of trust that would end with arguments and then the break up.
Just one of my thoughts.

I did have a long distance relationship that I found online that was 6 months long, talked on the phone every day, did bad/dirty things on the phone what not...we both loved each other...does that count as an ex-gf? Or nothing at all, I did eventually see her once after breaking it off, and then getting back together...

I still have her number and pictures with me, would that be a potential problem in the future for me? What do I say to someone who I could be dating..."oh she was just an online thing" Because it doesn't seem right, it's like I am devaluing something that was special and meaningful to me at the time.