Life's Most Embarrassing Moments

Rules are. Must be a real life experience, personal or someone else's.

Here's mine

Years ago I had my in-laws over from out of town. Now these people are good people, but really prim and proper, never stepping out of the box or on the wild side.

Picture this, we are all sitting in the living room chatting, getting into a really great conversation, then out of nowhere our 2 year old comes out of mommy and daddy’s bedroom with 2 pink objects in his hands, one in the left and one in the right. Yes, giggling and wiggling away. Now, at that moment I could see distressed looks, on their faces, but we had our backs to our son.

As he passed us by I could see the objects, out of the corner of my eye, but it was too late to intercept. Our little one scurried to the center of the room quickly grasping everyone’s undying attention, and believe me he did. As he spiked both of mommy’s intimate pink play toys into center of our conversation, they dance and bounced a bit around, and his mother nearly passed out. Now by this point you think no more harm can be done, Wrong! our little one said, “buzz hmmm buzz buzz mommy”

Without saying a word I quickly scooped up both toys and made them disappear back into out room. I had tears running down both sides of my face from holding back the laughter. I gained composer, then returned to the living room. I was ready for someone to say something, but I looked around and felt the tension. For me it would have been a great laugh and conversation piece, but no one said a thing.

I almost said, so honey are you going to have another one of those “Brown Bag Parties” or what?, but I held my tongue.

Later that night I told his mother, it’s probably best if you put those things a lot higher up now. And we both busted out into tearful laughter.

I still today laugh my butt off about the situation thinking, WTF was going through their minds.









Title Edit by RT



[edit on 17-3-2010 by Realtruth]

reply to post by Realtruth


A friend of mine likes to tell his favorite joke at every social gathering. It would violate the T&C so I'll just leave you with the punch line. I'm sure you have heard it before somewhere.

"No Sir, but I've always wanted to"

reply to post by Realtruth


Well,my question is ,"Why did she need two?"

From my military days a female member told me this story.

Now remember she stood 5'10" and had blond hair an blue eyes.

Not many women like that there back in those days.

She was stationed in Japan and was having lower body feminine issue.

The base hospital did not have staff Gynecologist so they sent her to the local hospital with a interpreter.

They went in to the examination room like a small closet and she was instructed to disrobe from the waist down and sit in this special chair with a door that opened from the bottom only.

Since Japanese are very modest, the doctor could perform the examine without making eye to eye contact with the patient.

She did as she was instructed.

The door opened ,she was examined an then the door closed and the interpreter instructed her to get dressed.

On the way out she noticed this small door and realized it was actually in the hallway and everybody passing by had gotten a good view of her privates!

Like no one could tell whose legs those belonged to!


[edit on 17-3-2010 by Oneolddude]

Kids have a knack for embarrassing you.:bnghd:

One of our nephews had stayed over on the weekend when he was about 7-8 years old. On Sunday we stopped at a grocery store to pick up a few items for dinner, but while in the store he really had to go to the bathroom.
"I have to poo, I have to poo" he pleaded.

We hurry to the back of the store and ask a staff member if there's a bathroom he can use. She showed us to the staff toilets and he went in to do his business.

All was fine, and we finish picking up a few items and go to the check-out line. I'm putting the groceries on the belt for the cashier to tally up when the kid announces in a loud voice:

"Uncle ******, my bum hole hurts."

At this time he's digging for gold at the back of his pants, and everyone is looking at me for what's next.

I asked quietly if he went poo, and he says yes.
I asked if he wiped his bum properly, and he said yes again.

30 seconds later he announces for everyone to hear, "My bum hole is burning".

More stares from the people around us, and then I realize, the night before we had very spicy chicken wraps with fresh picked jalapeno peppers from the garden.

If it burns going in, it burns coming out the other end.:shk:

I paid the bill and exited the store as quickly as we could.

Oh god I can think of loads, these are the best one's though:

When I was little I used to hate sitting in my pushchair. So one day when my mum was in town & put me in the pushchair, because it made a clicking noise when she fastened the straps I apparantly tried to shout 'stop clicking me mummy'. But because Id only just started speaking (and maybe was a little retarded) I shouted 'stop kicking me mummy'.. over and over again. Which led to my mum getting a fair few dirty looks.

At the end of my first year at uni we all had to do presentations about what we thought our strengths & weaknesses were, and how coming to university had effected us etc. One of the boys got up to do his presentation, and it was going well until he got to the slide where he was going to discuss his weaknesses.
Turns out one of his flatmates had edited the presentation slightly. Instead of some crap like being punctual & working in a team.. it simply said - 'bra's.. and girls, in general'.
What made it even funnier was that the tutor wasnt impressed in the slightest.. the rest of us found it amusing though, all 25 of us.

Now the weather is warming up a bit our next door neighbour has been doing some gardening and today he threw a couple of the dog's toys back over the fence that I was unaware had found their way into his garden.

(When I say 'fence' I mean a construction of about 7 foot tall with an much taller hedge or something on his side of it).

Besides a nearly-chewed-in-half ball there was an old string bag full of rolled-up socks, made up by my housemate to amuse the dog, which included one sock in the act of escaping.

Oh, the embarrassment.

And just when I though it couldn't get any worse, my housemate came back from the shop and, since he'd been the one to knock the bag of socks next door and since he'd lied about it and told me the bloody thing had been chewed up and thrown away, I told him to apologize to our neighbour.

I said something along the lines of 'Tell him we're terribly sorry and thank him nicely for returning the toys'.

So the H/M, who has never been noted for his sophistication, toddled off to the garden and decided to make himself useful clearing up after the dog.

And to my utter horror, stood at the end of our garden, bag of dog-droppings in hand and shouted to the neighbour 'Hello, thanks for throwing those (toys) back'.

At least I was watching through the kitchen window so no-one could see me cringing

reply to post by Realtruth


That is the funniest dang story ever. Buzzzzz


LOLOL


Mine is horrible for a middle schooler.

The 7th and 8th grades took a trip to camp. Pennsylvania law says students had to do some kind of class, so there was shooting, kayaking, horseback riding. There was a big lake.

During the kayaking class, we had these tiny, unstable kayaks. I fell into the middle of the lake. I had to swim all the way back to shore,the water was freezing and it was cold outside.

Every evening after dinner we all gathered around a bonfire and a cowboy told stories. He was talking about logging and he fell off a log into the lake, and the water is only 40 degrees. He stopped and then asked: BTW, who is the gal that went swimming today?

I sunk as far as I could in my seat. And my endearing friends all turned and pointed at me. He then said: cold wasn't it?

As if that wasn't enough, I had my clothes hanging from my bunk to dry. The next afternoon after lunch I went back to the cabin, to find someone had taken my bra and had it wrapped around in full display on teh log column on the front of the cabin.

Aren't middle school kids great?

Well,my question is ,"Why did she need two?"

One in the pink, and one in the stink... (I don't think that's a violation of the T&C, but if it is, slap it on...)

A friend of mine....her son was with her at the renaissance festival...and when they went by the glassblower's booth, she happened to remark on the beauty of a certain glass piece that was er uhm...for a questionable purpose...

Her son didn't know what it was for, (honestly), but saw that she liked it, went back later and got it for her, and then a week later, presented it to her for Mother's Day...

What a kid, huh? She was quite embarrassed, but accepted the "paper weight" with thanks...