A Strange Feeling as of Late...

Originally posted by klain

Originally posted by sinohptik
reply to post by klain

 

What answers do you want?

What do you mean?

Well you said this:

Originally posted by klain
my excuse is the same I just want answers.

in the post just before mine. If you are looking for answers, i was curious as to what your questions were.

i will say though, science can not yet approach the subject as testing platforms, and even individual human perspectives, have not grown to the point of being able to explore what is happening. What is happening is not sourced solely in the material universe in which we can observe, measure, and distinguish patterns. It only manifests in some regards through these avenues.

i have a scientific mind as well. But perhaps i have come to different conclusions than yourself. i feel the "container" of that scientific mind was found to be a better, more solid, foundation to live and explore than just residing completely in one of the tools at our disposal (our thought processes). This experiential perspective shift is started by many through breathing exercises that have been used for quite a few years now. The main goal was to realize that other systems existed alongside my thought processes, individual (but not separate) from it. Experiencing my lungs breathing was better done through breathing with my lungs than it was through thinking about my lungs breathing. This does not vilify, or even deny, the mind. It just allows that system to exist alongside other systems simultaneously in our body. It is a direct simile to social interaction as well, as others systems do not exist within my mind, they exist individually from it. If one has never experienced and perceived two or more individual systems at once in their own body, it is only a matter of opening ones perspective (the one that observes that scientific mind) to what is already occurring around us continuously and simultaneously. It is becoming aware of the constant movement all around us instead of viewing it all as a static object of sorts. i feel the amazing part is growing that perspective is endless, there is always more whether it is another system becoming perceived as an independent (but not separate) part, or understanding that same "independent, but not separate," structure exists within/without those independent, individual parts. By nature though, it can not be understood solely through the mind/thought processes, as such systems are not contained within the mind itself, just as "i" am not contained within "you."

So, even if that post was an outburst, what do you think spurred it? i asked before, but where would you like to see the thread go? It will never go "there" if we dont start walking in that direction, neh?

reply to post by sinohptik


Mostly what that was saying is the same thing you clarified, that everything we could hope to know is already out there. The things you need to understand the rules of the game you've been caught up in since birth are observation, logic and in almost equal measure, creativity and sheer cussedness. (That would be equal parts stubborn and driven for those not familiar with the term.) The law of gravity was there, to be sure. It took one man paying attention to it to give it a name, to establish the laws, to carve a new path for scientific study. I don't give as much credit to Keppler, Tycho Brahe is my scientific role model... but.. you see where I'm going with it. Magic, Science, anything you care to study in detail requires peer consultation, observation, experiments, protocols and documentation.

One of my most important tools in determining if a change has actually occurred when practicing is to ask a peer if they can reproduce it. That's exactly what's going on here. We're all aware there's a change occurring and we're documenting our thoughts and experiences during it. I still have the feeling this is only the beginning. Maybe in a few years, people WILL come back and dissect this thread to study the changes on an anthropology level. Either way, it's good to know that we're not the only ones experiencing it.

As for the games, I've put a lot of work this last week into getting The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion running like a top with the FCOM compilation mod working on it. I've run the gamut from removing a sound card to testing for broken codecs but it finally decided to work today so I'm going to head back in and work with my Khajiit Assassin/Thief. DDO was ok, but lately if I want to play something multiplayer I break out Neverwinter Nights 2 and play with my girlfriend and friends. It's not the best game but it scratches the pen and paper itch.

Howzit everyone.

Happy rapture.

It's funny, because I am actually having an incredibly nice and pleasant day.

Everyone seems very calm, very good vibes all around.

If this was the last day on Earth, I really wouldn't mind, because I am content.

But in all honesty, the world is not ending. It is going on as it should.

We making progress.

Hope everyone is having an enjoyable day

I must say, I have nothing in my head but horrible feelings of death and loss the thought "don't ever stop having horrible feelings of death and loss"

Someone in the thread mentioned showtunes.... who was it?

Yesterday was a dark DARK DARK day. I don't want to have another day like that ever. I don't even think I can put it into words. I hope that doesn't happen again anytime soon. That was horrible.


on a different note.

Nobody is answering my question about showtunes. Who was it that came into this thread talking about belting out showtunes.

*sigh* I'm going to have to dig this out I guess because I have the sneaking feeling that if someone knows, they aren't going to tell me.

Hm let's see.

I cannot really like process all this happening right now.

Everyone I know is completely drained and no energy right now.

Everyone is talking about the vibes in the air.

Things are happening at a very fast pace.

The ground beneath my feet feels very active.

I am going to take a nap, and definitely gonna write down my dreams.

How are you all?

everything went alright till 1 hour ago, i started to feel incredible bad, i have no idea why =/... i think it has something to be with my poor economical situation, dunno.... feeling like crap right now...

Originally posted by Caggy
everything went alright till 1 hour ago, i started to feel incredible bad, i have no idea why =/... i think it has something to be with my poor economical situation, dunno.... feeling like crap right now...

A poor economical situation is a fine trigger for such things. I know that one pretty well. What's worse is when you have foresight and feel predestined for this to continue. I hope that's not your situation. What's even worse than feeling your situation is predestined to be bad, is when it feels like effort is being put into it to keep you there. To keep you needy. To keep you from having other options...and I hope that is also not your situation.

I do take some responsibility for my lack of successes but societies are construed to where someone always has to be close to the bottom. Someone has to be the victims of the crappy circumstances of most economies... and it doesn't help that those who run the big money machines know how to keep people needing... having to work, scrape and scrounge. Some people are hemmed in by more elaborate means and circumstances in their life... some just have really bad luck.

... but in any case, it's a killer!

In the past there may have been some things I could have handled different or acted more quickly that would have helped me out.... so what I'm saying is people who tell you that you should have a lot of faith in yourself and can bare to get a little overextended are probably trying to sell you something and it's actually a great pitch.... like expensive schools or cars that are covered in all ways but will cost you an arm and a leg.

In my experience, the less extended I am... the less stress I have so I would say do everything you can to cut down while you can... you'll thank yourself for it in the long run.

Having said that, even though my bills are quite small, they are still there and life holds no guarantee for anything. I suppose I will not stop having those times when I am highly disgruntled over my situation until I own something and could survive a while somehow if the well ran completely dry. That is good security to feel and the best part is that it is the least of what you need.

We all have our days.

The 21st of May for me was spent thinking I am cursed in some strange way... so for all those out there who are acquainted with heartache, which could be practically anyone, my broken heart goes out to you for what it's worth. I hope we all at least find a nice, warm, sweet dream to crawl up inside of to get us through another night.

reply to post by areopagite


Could you possibly elaborate more on your post?

Share with us what you are feeling.

reply to post by ChaosMagician


you'll see... this money thing is far from normal... my "luck" has been bad since ever (it's like a nice Danielle Steel's book, or a soap opera, both would work) so i don't care about it anymore. I know that this is gonna end someday, i'm working on a good business right now but as every new business in the world, money is coming in a long time.... for now, i should keep living with the little money my mom sends to me every month... i feel that living with my parent's money by my age is some kind of robbery or extreme laziness and i'm not gonna stand this for too long. I'm a very independant woman, and i just can't stand this situation anymore =/.... Still, i know the nd of this situation is near, but the day-to-day situation still makes me mad... not having money to buy a new pair of shoes or a magazine is absolutely opposite to don't having money to eat =_=...

good thing, i just need to lose 4 kgs now, my diet is like crap too because my little money...

Originally posted by Caggy
reply to post by ChaosMagician

 

you'll see... this money thing is far from normal... my "luck" has been bad since ever (it's like a nice Danielle Steel's book, or a soap opera, both would work) so i don't care about it anymore. I know that this is gonna end someday, i'm working on a good business right now but as every new business in the world, money is coming in a long time.... for now, i should keep living with the little money my mom sends to me every month... i feel that living with my parent's money by my age is some kind of robbery or extreme laziness and i'm not gonna stand this for too long. I'm a very independant woman, and i just can't stand this situation anymore =/.... Still, i know the nd of this situation is near, but the day-to-day situation still makes me mad... not having money to buy a new pair of shoes or a magazine is absolutely opposite to don't having money to eat =_=...

good thing, i just need to lose 4 kgs now, my diet is like crap too because my little money...

i think that is one of the more frustrating situations. i have been in a similar one, as i have been struggling to survive the past two plus years with that very severely ruptured disc in my spine. i tried working, but i ended up passing out from the pain multiple times while on the clock, and it was obvious it was beyond my capabilities and not a liability an employer wanted to take on, though doctors kept telling me it was "all in my head." i slowly started to get paralyzed in one of my legs before i finally found a doctor that knew what he was doing.

i am the type to never ask for help from others in situations like that, but it was either that, or literally lose everything i have (the most devastating would have been my dogs).

For me, it taught me great amounts of humility, and it also showed me who my true friends and family really are. The rest either left, or were amongst the more than a dozen that died during the same time frame.

It has been difficult, but in the end, i feel i am stronger for it, and certainly substantially more compassionate towards others struggles. Instead of wallowing in it, i decided i would rather learn everything i can from it. There was literally nothing i could do to "fix" it, so i figured that i would still make it as productive and helpful to the world around me and myself, regardless of the pain involved. i see it as repayment of sorts, for the vast amounts of kindness, largesse, and outright compassion i was shown from others. Though i am still recovering from the relatively invasive and difficult surgery, so a bit more patience is required on my end

reply to post by truthseeker1984


Very strange...

List of what ive felt the last month:
Mentaly/Spiritualy Drained leading to Physical draining (spontainous)
As you were saying having your aura Feel displaced, Ive felt a Line of pain going down my left side for the past month but when i run over the pain it runs in the shape of my Build on my left side. (Consistant)
Loss of emotional Controll (I MAY be empath but due to a bad childhood i dont know because i force myself to avoid other people if how they feel is different or on a lower level than mine mentaly/spiritualy and physicaly) (Consistant)
Loss of Energy Focous (I find it harder to channel / Cleanse things) (When being done)
AND something ive never had before due to me having a Over-joyous love for this planet but; A wish for it all to end because of a felling that its going to soon anyways.

This might sound silly, but ever since May 21st, the world has felt emptier...

It is an extremely strange and unsettling feeling.

I actually do not know what to say anymore.

This has gotten to be beyond what I could have ever imagined.

Time's up.

This matches up with the feelings I was feeling on the 21st. The world seemed so ugly and empty and so lacking of fairness and justice.. and in so many ways, it is... it really is.... but I was feeling this to the point where it hurt all over. All the pain of lost loved ones were tearing through me like knives and I had this obsessive feeling to hold on to this pain no matter what and not forget it for a second... because when the end comes it will be the end of my life, but it will also be the end of that pain and therefore, it will be a release. It was such a dark omen.
I thought about all the suffering in the world and I felt that no person was above this sense of doom. It felt like death taking a good long look into my soul... an eerily familiar feeling that knows and sees one personally and intimately and past all illusions of life. It was truly dark.

For me, it was just a really dark, foreboding day.
I just wanted to be held by one who I respect and trust... one who somehow makes me feel safe regardless, but that wasn't an option. It felt so cursed, being ironically separated by some cosmic polarity but with a constant longing.

It just.... sucked.

I am still drained. drained of nutrients, drained of energy.

The strange thing is the next day felt different to me. I began to start feeling mercy and reassurance again. It was like being able to breath again after gasping for air. The pain was gone and I just wanted to rest in that feeling of peace.

I would LOVE to know what the hell came over me because it was horrible. It was absolutely horrible.

I thought I was the only one feeling drained since the 21st. I know about all that stuff on Harold Camping and I don't think it's tied to that per se, just that I started feeling like it would be a good thing for the earth to be cleansed and at 6pm GMT and again at 6pm EST I felt two weird pulling sensations, only this time much stronger.

I literally just do not have the energy to want to do anything right now and I couldn't care less anyway. That's not like me at all. I always try to find the good in any situation and manage to feel upbeat but these last couple of days, I'm off-kilter. Although I wouldn't wish this feeling on anyone, I'm glad I'm not alone.

I can't help but to wonder if all this talk about rapture and the end and what-not....whether or not it's going to happen.... but what if all these predictions are generating a bunch of negative energy? fear... not just fear, but some people WANT something to happen, then it doesn't and leaves those people feeling that nothing is ever going to change if they really believed it.

to be honest... i don't know crap about the may 21st prophecies... haven't read the first one. I should to figure out why they picked that date, because whatever was supposed to happen or whatever aside, it certainly felt like negative energy to me. I don't know if it was just me, or of it was the weather. It's not like it hasn't happened before.... I just wonder if there is something to it. Like... I don't know... atmospheric pressure or ions or something, lol.

I wish I knew.

I haven't felt a oneness or connection to anything in a couple of years. Just a feeling that everything is dead and there's nothing to look forward to anymore. I feel cut off from emotions or anything spiritual. But maybe its just me.