A Strange Feeling as of Late...

Originally posted by amc621
reply to post by ChaosMagician

 

My Dad's passing was a fluke. It shouldn't have happened either, he was only 67. I do think about the happy times, things we shared. Not all were deep earth shattering things, some were as mundane as sports. I do laugh quite a bit thinking about some things.

I wish you could do the same.

well, thank you.

It's not that i don't have good memories... i do, but i will never *not* feel this way. It has been 24 years. He died when he was 36. He was my daddy. I looked up to him like a pillar of strength and I was one of his little girls. i saw that man go through some rough times and then his life was just crushed to top it off. As a child when it happened i will never feel i gave him enough attention or told him the things i would want to say to a father as a person old enough and mature enough to say them. i will never be able, as an adult, to show appreciation for all the things he did. My eyes are tearing up just typing this and it's not that I'm trying to dwell but i will always feel this way. I have since his death and I always will.

I remember one time when i was in a school program and wore a blue dress and a blue necklace he got for me and even though he needed to work he came to see the program and i remember him walking me down the hall way and looking up to him and he was wearing his big blue comboy hat. that was the same hallway that I would stare at when i would sit and imagine that someone would come to the door and tell me that he was dead... and although it didn't happen there and at that school, about a year later it happened.

there's no way i will ever stop feeling this way. I needed him too much. That will always be how it ended.
tis is the way I am supposed to feel. This is just the way it feels for me. I am 35. i am grown now. A lot of time has passed but as years go by assuming the world is still around and I am still in it, I will only become more sentimental with age and these feelings are are just the way it is.

reply to post by amc621


Ego is simply yourself. en.wikipedia.org...

The Ego comprises that organised part of the personality structure that includes defensive, perceptual, intellectual-cognitive, and executive functions. Conscious awareness resides in the ego, although not all of the operations of the ego are conscious

Basically what SOT was saying, I think, is that to really learn and understand, you have to drop yourself from the equation. You need to step back and look at things we say with a different perspective. Forget what you learned previously in your life. Look at it with no preconceptions or prejudice. While you may want to know things, it's YOU that's getting in the way of actually learning. From this ongoing thing that you've been carrying out in this thread, I can tell that you are closed to actually learning and understanding, and you really just want to judge. Judge what and why? I don't know, I just get that feeling from you. I'm not even sure half of our posts are even related to the OP, but I leave that up to the mods and the person who started the thread. I can only hope that your questioning, whatever your motive is now, will lead you to THE truth.

There is a saying that states, There is your truth, my truth, and THE truth.

reply to post by Ellie Sagan


Thanks for the response. Interesting point of view. I guess my question is, and I think I phrased this differently already, is if I don't agree with what is said, does that mean I'm not learning? I'm not saying I will always disagree, but there have been some concepts on this thread that I have a tough time believing. I'm not looking to offend anyone with my disbelief, actually would like to have some one show me why my disbelief is wrong. I have a tough time with "because I or we all say so" is a good reason. One person responded to me with a post about telling his sister about not going a certain route while driving, she didn't and avoided a accident. Now that is some interesting stuff.

Maybe I'm also missing the point, maybe what is being conveyed here is that being "sensitive" have certain feelings is not the same as being a Nostradamus.

I don't know, but I'm still going to ask questions. I think my ego is firmly in a good place. If I did have a ego issue I think I would say "What a load of crap....get real". But that's FAR from what I say.

reply to post by ChaosMagician


I wish I could say something encouraging, enlighting, anything. But I've learned we all react differnetly to losing people in our lives and none of us are wrong about how we deal and feel about it.

Is it something like this feeling of a tingling up your leg>??

Originally posted by amc621
reply to post by klain

 

As it has been well posted here I don't have the same abilities that many of you have here. With the holidays coming, are those of you who sense things, are you able to sense and feel joy about maybe seeing family, finding the perfect gift to give someone or just having pleasant memories of the past with having the sense of being in a rut?

At least in my interpretation of a "rut," I'm not referring to an emotional rut persay. I'm more referring to whatever energy is out there in the world that is making me sense that things are happening. In my experiences, these "ruts" have nothing to do with negative emotions. They are more like observations of the waves of events, whether they be earthquakes, hurricanes, or whatever "disaster" is most likely to happen. When there is a low point in this wave, I can feel it, just as I can feel when we are approaching another high point in the same wave. Here's a graphical example of what I am trying to say. It's a sine wave, and I have marked what I mean by high points and ruts in the wave.

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/931f870c5d15.jpg[/atsimg]

I still experience joy when it is warranted, just as I experience sadness. I let myself feel these things because it is part of the overall human experience. The "ruts" and the "high points" have nothing to do with my emotional state. It has more to do with the "sixth sense" side of things.

When you have the sense of gloom, doom, rut, whatever it may be that is negative are you able to experience joy of something that may happen any given day. Like seeing kids laughing and playing, listening or seeing great art (music ect.). Just curious how, if at all, daily events can affect your extra senses.

I think you may misunderstand when you label the rut as negative. The wave is part of the natural cycle. Just like the tides come in and out, these waves do the same. These waves could be positive or negative. It could be positive in that you hit a few big jackpots in a lottery machine (a winning streak), or negative such as having (x) number of family members or friends die in a close proximity of time (a streak of bad luck). It's not as simple as labeling the "ruts" as negative. In my opinion, it's a lull time in activity, just as I talked about in my previous post to this one. The activity could be good or bad depending on the situation, but they certainly aren't all bad.

I hope that helps to clarify a few things.



Peace be with you.

-truthseeker

reply to post by truthseeker1984


It does. Thanks. So if I'm getting this right, you can feel good about seeing a friend you may have not seen in a while, but you have a seperate instinct (lack of a better word than feeling again) that is letting you know there is a low point in the wave? Does that sound right?

I would also like to hear from you and others the FIRST time you experienced this sensation of another sense. What happened? How did it make you feel? How long after until you had a understanding of what it was?

Originally posted by amc621
reply to post by truthseeker1984

 

It does. Thanks. So if I'm getting this right, you can feel good about seeing a friend you may have not seen in a while, but you have a seperate instinct (lack of a better word than feeling again) that is letting you know there is a low point in the wave? Does that sound right?

By George, I think you've got it! YES YES YES! What I'm saying is that it is a completely separate instinct from normal emotional states. This isn't to say that the events unfolding won't have a negative effect on emotional states. Empathy can be a very strong thing, and can cause some to have these two completely different instincts cross into the same realm. I don't know how familiar with music you are, but think of it as two dissonant notes (notes that don't ring in harmony or unity with each other). These notes can sound "painful" because the frequencies are so close together, it disjoints and displeases the ear. When one wave (the instinct part) doesn't jive with the emotional frequency, it causes dissonance, which causes emotional pain. Obviously negative events can be painful, so this is a given. When a positive wave happens, it can cause harmony, and be pleasing to the emotions.

I would also like to hear from you and others the FIRST time you experienced this sensation of another sense. What happened? How did it make you feel? How long after until you had a understanding of what it was?

My very first memory was of being visited by spirits. This is the only life I have known for as long as I can remember. I know for a fact that I was experiencing these things because my parents saw them too. It took a long time for them to come to terms with what I was able to sense, but they agreed that what I had must be some sort of natural thing, so they learned to live with it. They never made a big deal about it. They just accepted it as part of my personal daily life. The extra senses (empathy, clairvoyance, and the like) didn't come until later when my emotional and physical self caught up to my spiritual self, or the part of me that can sense these other waves. The biggest past memory I have was when I predicted the date that my grandfather would pass away. I could sense the wave coming. He was in very good health, and I sensed this wave well over a year before it happened. I kept telling my parents that they need to keep an eye out for him. They shrugged me off because I think they were scared to admit that I might be on to something.

And just to clarify, I was the one that shared my story about telling my mother not to pick my sister up from a basketball game because she would have gotten into an accident. That is another memory that sticks in my mind, and is the one important memory that finally proved to myself that I was capable of sensing these events.



Peace be with you.

-truthseeker

I cannot tell you when I first experienced what we call empathy or the discordance of energies. I have always felt it. I have no memories of when it was not a part of me. I, too, feel that we are at the bottom of a wave, but I feel it is a very shallow wave at best. I think things are escalating now, and the wave peaks and troughs will get shallower and shallower until they are one steady high. THEN things will really get interesting.

Seeker brings up a good point about Ego and stepping back from it. Most of you know my own work in that sense. I can tell you that there are others here who need that work as well. I won't get more specific than that, since that is counterproductive. I think it is important to get our egos where they need to be before the walls come down and things change. Then we will be equipped for the new lessons we shall learn and the new lives we will be leading.

Our Mother is talking to us every day, and we are ignoring her. The weather is insane worldwide, the volcanic and earthquake activity, it is all messages to us to pay attention.

Our world political theater is a joke and the world leaders are leading us by the hand into slavery and poverty and we are letting them.

The strange feelings get stronger every day, and more and more people are starting to feel them.

I can't say I always trust my senses but i have known some pretty strange things to occur that seemed precognitive, whether I was aware of it at the time or not. most of the time- not. Sometimes I am just certain that something bad is going to happen and it doesn't... sometimes I don't feel anything bad is going to happen but will have strange dreams or strange thoughts that later prove to have something to do with the future or sensing something unseen and at the time i am thinking it or whatever, it just comes and goes like a passing thought... doesn't even phase me until they irony of it later. This leads me to believe that with me, it's not an ability but some outside energy that just happens to get concentrated near me or I'm just picking up on it like some kind of unintentional antenna. I can't control it. I don't even try. I know it's there and could happen at any moment but I think it could happen to anyone who is not drowning it out somehow or rather grounding the energy before it seeds itself somehow in the memory or conscious where it later can be reflected on. I think, for me personally, if I tried very hard to tap into it... it would lead me down many dead end streets.... so i just don't even try or think of it as my own. It's coming from an external source. I think what is important is to be aware of the possibility... to have faith in a timelessness that allowed all things to be possible. I think it's better to have the mind's butler near the door waiting for the knock, leaving you to go tend to life's more pragmatic side rather than leaving the door standing wide open allowing all sorts of things in.

If I have a feeling something bad is going to happen and can't shake it, i will often go ahead and voice my concerns because in the past, when i have not and it came to pass I have had feelings of guilt. Although i try not to drive myself crazy with trying to "see" i don't care if others think I'm a little strange because somewhere in my mind I tend to think I'm a little ironically jinxed and that if I voice it, it won't come to pass because then i would be proven right. I would rather be proven wrong and risk sounding crazy. If i believed it was going to happen and said nothing and it did happen, i would have to carry the burden of conscience.

as for strange things about to happen... i don't know if this is good or bad...maybe it's worse than my conscious wil allow me to handle, but i'm not feeling anything bad will happen as of right now. that could change at any second. there are things i hope will happen. a lot of it is mixed up in my personal wants despite that I am having a little bit of hope for the world that is a tad unfamiliar to me. i don't know what that means if anything. maybe it means the opposite of what it is and my mind is trying to buffer itself or maybe it means nothing at all. maybe I am simply choosing to be hopeful. it's hard to distinguish when you want something good to happen and when you sense something good will happen, at least for me. no one can fool me like I can fool myself. No one. Again, i don't always trust my senses. i will just sit here with my pleasant anticipations and believe that i am strong enough for a negative outcome instead.

i also just want to say that although i don't think instincts should always be trusted, that it's healthy to question the self, i believe it is good to have resolve in what you decide to do and carry through with what you decide. For example, I may believe something knowing in the back of my mind I could be wrong, but i might hold on to my conviction until i can be proven wrong or right when it comes to actions in my life. like thinking something bad is going to happen and voicing it knowing it could be BS, because I'd rather deal with that than the consequences of being right and saying nothing. Conviction is different that instinct. or trusting in a feeling that could be proven wrong but being resolute in the fact that at that time I felt that way and there was a reason and it within itself was not wrong. sometimes we are meant to be proven wrong. sometimes it's how we learn. Like being certain of something that changes. It doesn't mean you were wrong for feeling certain with the information you had, it means that things sometimes change... and you should be receptive to change if you can't control it, but not so receptive that you never have conviction about anything at all.

Things are back in motion. I feel it. Progression is definitely happening.

This weekend feels life changing.

Can't wait till Saturday night.

The wheels are in constant motion (8) (Dream Theater's songs holds some truth IMHO)
btw, that song is pretty interesting (search the lyrics, I don't think that progressive rock is something everyone likes here)

I feel drained today because I had a dream that was VERY powerful... You know, I haven't feel love for years... real love, the one that makes you feel butterflies in your stomach and the like... last night I dreamt about meeting my twin flame. He looked me at the eyes, and runned towards me, hugging me very strong, crying in joy... and I felt all that feelings of pure love and started to cry in joy too. It was pretty INTENSE. I woke up with an emptiness feeling that's still over me... I want to love with that intensity again, really...

Originally posted by Caggy
The wheels are in constant motion (8) (Dream Theater's songs holds some truth IMHO)
btw, that song is pretty interesting (search the lyrics, I don't think that progressive rock is something everyone likes here)

I feel drained today because I had a dream that was VERY powerful... You know, I haven't feel love for years... real love, the one that makes you feel butterflies in your stomach and the like... last night I dreamt about meeting my twin flame. He looked me at the eyes, and runned towards me, hugging me very strong, crying in joy... and I felt all that feelings of pure love and started to cry in joy too. It was pretty INTENSE. I woke up with an emptiness feeling that's still over me... I want to love with that intensity again, really...

aww...that's sad. I hate those kinds of dreams. you say "twin flame" I'm guessing you already know this person in real life? Not trying to be nosey but if so, it seems like something bad must have happened?

Or is this just someone you dream about who you have never met that you feel a strong connection to?

reply to post by ChaosMagician


Is someone I know that exists but I haven't meet him yet... the sad part is when you know who the other is but the possibilities of reaching that person are close to 0 =(... twin flames doesn't meet in every life as far as I've researched, so it's very possible we don't meet in this life (me and my belief system, I dn't usually discuss it because it's so weird and I take things from different religions and other systems...)

I'm kinda sad, maybe I should go to sleep and have another stupid dream to wash away the emptiness (sp please =( )

Originally posted by Caggy
reply to post by ChaosMagician

 

Is someone I know that exists but I haven't meet him yet... the sad part is when you know who the other is but the possibilities of reaching that person are close to 0 =(... twin flames doesn't meet in every life as far as I've researched, so it's very possible we don't meet in this life (me and my belief system, I dn't usually discuss it because it's so weird and I take things from different religions and other systems...)

I'm kinda sad, maybe I should go to sleep and have another stupid dream to wash away the emptiness (sp please =( )

what was that last part? "sp please"? I didn't quite understand that.

I'm not trying to be nosey but am curious about your predicament. Could you tell me more? Is it someone you remember? Did you remember them before you had dreams or after? Is it someone you were previously with? can you tell me how you know you are connected with this person?

aaah... I prefeer not to speak too much about that person. But well, first time I saw him it was like "ok, there's something about that guy..." and then, the dreams started. Sometimes he doesn't look like him in this life, sometimes my dreams are in other eras, and time to time I know what happens to him even without knowing, and friends we have in common tells me later... He doesn't know I even exist! we have friends in common, nothing else. But one day, I'll have enough money to go and see him in person and corroborate what I do feel from distance.

The sp is because I was not sure about the spelling of emptiness! and the internet connection I have right now it's so slow I can't open the dictionary in other page without waiting like 5 minutes to get an answer (in short, I'm too lazy to check it by myself)

does anybody feel twitchy? I get the feeling something is off again.

By the way truthseeker1984 and I are working on something that might be quite useful for the post.
Hope everyone is well.

reply to post by klain


Twitchy, ug yes. been very anxious today for some reason.
I can't say it's in a negative way though. I just feel as though I need to keep going.
I've been trying to keep myself busy all day and running out of things to do.
Otherwise, I've been having a beautiful day, actually kind of serene and stimulating at the same time.
Odd indeed.
Hope everyone is doing well today.

Love you all to pieces

Originally posted by Caggy
aaah... I prefeer not to speak too much about that person. But well, first time I saw him it was like "ok, there's something about that guy..." and then, the dreams started. Sometimes he doesn't look like him in this life, sometimes my dreams are in other eras, and time to time I know what happens to him even without knowing, and friends we have in common tells me later... He doesn't know I even exist! we have friends in common, nothing else. But one day, I'll have enough money to go and see him in person and corroborate what I do feel from distance.

The sp is because I was not sure about the spelling of emptiness! and the internet connection I have right now it's so slow I can't open the dictionary in other page without waiting like 5 minutes to get an answer (in short, I'm too lazy to check it by myself)

If you have friends in common, why don't you make your existence known? At least that way you would not be living life in suspension concerning this issue. Something would either come out of it, or it wouldn't. If it did, great... if it didn't, find the strength to continue to journey forward. I'm sure you could do that. I think it is easier to deal with a clean cut than it is letting it eat at you forever. You are proving that you have tolerance for the latter so why not the former? Also, remember that how you deal with it says something and will continue to say things about who you are as a person... to this other person. If and when he ever does find out about you, do you merely want to hope that his perception of you will be shaped pleasantly and with fortitude, or do you rather intend to shape it that way? Would you really want anyone just assuming impressions of you? That can be detrimental to what you want if you simply try to let the chips fall where you seem to be hoping they will.
If you put forward your best attempt and lose, is it your fault? If you attempted your best? Maybe even it goes terrible then at least you can turn and say you tried to do something good for yourself and let it be a reminder of who is really on your side in life. If you find your greatest friend, fantastic... if you don't, find another. Maybe you have needed time to reflect on this, but how long is it good to straddle fences?

I have a few of my own personal thoughts and experiences with this type of thing. Past and present.
Sometimes things are not what they seem. Sometimes things are exactly what they seem. Do you personally feel capable of accepting these things and being open enough to let these things unfold however they will?