Child Support Agencies pocket it all. Kid's starve.

reply to post by LadySkadi


Because its logical...

Its a system of trash...has been for years. Parents to me are the ones at fault. Not all of course. if they would be mature about a split and put their kids needs first and let the vindictive, revenge BS go, they wouldn't have a need for the courts or this. But like anything else people get greedy, self centered, spiteful, etc...and then who pays the most? Not them...the damn kid who has to endure a divorce of the 2 people he/she loves, and now for another X number of years has to watch and listen to them fight over BS and he/she still comes out on the short end.

If you have a child and need/want to split, then split and do EVERYTHING after that split for the kids. Not for yourself or your hurt feelings. If the courts HAVE to get involved...I think my system works best and keeps the abuse of funds down to a bare minimum.

Originally posted by LadySkadi
reply to post by rcwj1975

 

This is such a logical idea and totally supportable. Why wouldn't a system like this be implemented?

We have to get people to see the money trail and to follow the money through the system close enough to see a penny sent is a penny received. It has seemed to be too cloudy in between the parents.

I couldn't even understand why the CSA wouldn't even account for money paid directly to the other parent. I've heard all kinds of excuses like... "oh the checks weren't stated with some exact [legal jibberish]"

[edit on 15-2-2010 by dzonatas]

reply to post by rcwj1975
I have worked with DHS and Child Services for some time (family counselor) and the waste and bureaucracy and seeming total lack of communication/control/regard for the actual "clients" of the systems are maddening. Yes, the parents have a responsibility to ensure the best for the child, but (IMO) the oversight agencies have that same responsibility and the ball is dropped by both (in many cases)... It's extremely difficult to watch from the sidelines...

reply to post by dzonatas


You are right...nothing but excuses from them. That is why if you allow banks to hold that cash, they are pretty good at keeping good checks and balances...i.e. its their job.

Lady, I agree both have to do the right thing and when on the sidelines its VERY frustrating. I see it alot working law enforcement and it blows my mind.

Originally posted by hotbakedtater
reply to post by dzonatas

 

But I cannot say definitely.

I tell you what. I go back to work in March so I will try to remember and update you with what they take from my check.

Don't need to reveal your details of amounts (to protect your privacy).

The audit reports I've seen only cover what goes in the system and what comes up, yet they never show a "running total" as a complete cycle from the one that pays to the one that receives.

There is more detail found in credit cards than what CSAs have provided. If your CSA provides you anything like a credit card statement where both you and your ex get the exact same statement, then your state is above the rest. None of the the reports I've seen have been anywhere close like a credit card statement or bank statement. It's all just been "here's the fictional amount owed, here is the actual amount paid" by the father, then there is separate report "here's the fictional amount owed, here is the fictional amount paid" to the mother. You see the "actual" amount being tracked doesn't always equal the "fictional" amount, and this isn't noticed because the reports are kept separate.

Ask your ex for a copy of the report he gets and see if it matches the reports you get. You might be surprised.

[edit on 15-2-2010 by dzonatas]

I pay and recieve CS you can't imagine what a mess ,...but I think I got it now I pay CS with money from SS for an overdosed mother who had a stroke after I paid CS for 8 years and raised the child,...just because I have a penis.
The ironic thing is that it was the Womens Advocacy Group is who finally got it turned arround.Now that the mother is incompetent from a stroke from drug abuse,..now I am using her SS payment for the child now 17 to pay CS from a woman who got pregnant on purpose to get money,...and I will finally have nothing standing in the way of pushing to see the other child and can finally drive after 10 years,...I'm crying,...I love my sons and patience will pay off in the long run,...The system doesn't give a # about your kids .
Ya better buckle up if ya want to keep your family.
You good dead broke moms and dads hang in there keep the goal of your children being well first and everything else will come out in the wash.

reply to post by rcwj1975


exactly what I tell younger couples who are getting poopy w/ each other,...settle it like grown ups or I don't want to hear you crying later,...selfishness kills children.

reply to post by human32826


It's rare to even see the child switch hands despite no matter what the courts decide first time through the system. Once that CSA case gets deep in interest, those attorneys find all kinds of excuses to let the child stay in an abusive situation just so the CSA can continue to rack up the interest on top of the normal payments.

Sounds like you got your family out of a worse situation.

I've heard of justices look at cases and declare impossible for a parent to pay... unless they suddenly win the lottery.

you guys don't know the half of it. try being told you have to pay X every month for 18plus years. the amount is more than you know you can pay and you tell them, "there's no way i can achieve this number consistently over that many years" the judge says too bad and 16 years later you owe X amount and the jobs and opportunity in your life those years has only allowed for 50% paid, what do you do?

i found out i have Zero recourse. reviews - tried 18 times. talked with members of government, ZERO recourse. except i can go spend 2 years in jail and still owe all that money i never made.

now would you walk into a bank and take a loan you know yourself could never PAY?

since an amount of money can dictate my freedom in the governments eyes the line has been crossed.



[edit on 15-2-2010 by Pewbert]

Originally posted by Pewbert
since an amount of money can dictate my freedom in the governments eyes the line has been crossed.

Exactly.

Many people choose to starve if and when the courts put them in jail over it. There are too many cases where the CSAs just have not followed the child support laws fully to the benefit of both parents, which would then actually SUPPORT the child if they did.

Everybody knows SUPPORT means more than money. It means love, attention, hugs, being there, being able to watch your child grow, being able for your child to see smiles on your face when doing good, and so much more.

Maybe not loud enough, yet the message is getting out there. It certainly too late for many cases where it has become impossible to get back all those years LOST.

Originally posted by rcwj1975
reply to post by dzonatas

 

You are right...nothing but excuses from them. That is why if you allow banks to hold that cash, they are pretty good at keeping good checks and balances...i.e. its their job.

Even more, what about all these cases where the CSA just continues to collect child support despite the fact the child is missing!!!

That simply wouldn't happen with the bank account/card. Any transaction made on the card would only help find the missing child!!!

Note, after 5 years of my child being missing. I finally got some relief yesterday to know she is still alive. The police couldn't find her (their address didn't come up in the car-system, for example), the CSA couldn't find her, the social workers couldn't find her, the courts couldn't find her (couldn't serve papers). Arden Fair Mail has evidence of the guy that preventing me from being able to give a hug to my child after not seeing her for 5 years, and he hit me and shoved me, then tried to tell security it wasn't my child. That's why I said to security... "how hard is this... black guy... white guy... white daughter... and you let her be taken by who???"

Do you think the mall is more concerned to cover-up their mistake or actually try to help? Not always the parents fault when one disappear's with the child in order to collect child support. Remember, the CSA only asks how much time was spent with the child -- not the reason why.

The policewomen that stood by said to me over and over that I need to go to court over it. I told her that she isn't listening. I told them already that I've been to the courts and the courts couldn't find her. She even said I was being irrational... yet she also said the argument was circular when she spoke to me. I looked at her with a blank stare and I knew by this time my daughter is far gone AGAIN... when she looked at me and said "this is what we are trained to do"... and I told her.. "I know how your trained, but you lost control." A cop shouldn't be trained to digress the argument into circular arguments while the fact the child is being taken AGAIN. If that is how cops are trained, no wonder my child was so easy to steal away from me.

[edit on 16-2-2010 by dzonatas]

reply to post by rcwj1975


A lot of men wouldn't have a problem with paying child support if
they were guaranteed it was going to the child.I have heard of mothers'
using their child support to buy things for themselves or new boyfriend.

I had forgotten that my ex did pay some child support when she was 13.
It didn't go through proper channels,if it had,I wouldn't have gotten a
dime.I spent the money right in front of him so he couldn't say I blew
it on myself.

That's what happens when ex's start talking to other ex's.Because one
guy's wife ripped him for everything he owned,it's assumed all ex wives
are like that.

My local area and the areas I grew up in were always rife with domestic tragedy. Child support was common, so was a single parent.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to stereotype when I say this, but I've personally never seen child support do anything for a child. It is always squandered by a drunken and manipulative mother who has a drunken boyfriend squatting in the apartment with her. Neither the mother nor the "squatter", work.

The "ex" works his ass off paying for "child support". It's such a joke, and I'm sorry but it is not misogyny for me to be saying it. It is just a fact of life in the typical rural slums of America. The courts never establish any oversight on these support cases, and it is all squandered by the abusive mother. The ex father was just as abusive, but now he's just bound by law to pay, and meanwhile he doesn't care anymore because the whole ordeal has left him bitter and cheaply used as a money receptacle.

reply to post by mamabeth


I agree 100% that parents would have no problems paying if the money paid was accountable. That is why I think a checking account WITH statements mailed out to all involved would solve much of that and hold the recieving parent responsible for the BS if the money is spent foolishly.

Originally posted by LadySkadi
reply to post by rcwj1975

 

This is such a logical idea and totally supportable. Why wouldn't a system like this be implemented?

ETA: That's a general question... just musing out loud...


Yeah, great idea. Even better, implant a chip in Mom, Dad and the kids, and then Big Brother can track EVERYTHING. You will be so happy. The govt will take care of you. Relax. Pay your taxes.







[edit on 15-2-2010 by LadySkadi]

Originally posted by rcwj1975
reply to post by dzonatas

 

You are right...nothing but excuses from them. That is why if you allow banks to hold that cash, they are pretty good at keeping good checks and balances...i.e. its their job.

Lady, I agree both have to do the right thing and when on the sidelines its VERY frustrating. I see it alot working law enforcement and it blows my mind.

Yeah, you're right. Banks are good. My bank hardly ever makes a mistake on my money, only like once a month or so. But it's always in my favor. Oh, wait, no it's not. The bank has made hundreds of "mistakes" and EVERY SINGLE TIME they were stiffing ME. Not once did the bank ever "accidentally" put more money in my account than there should have been. Sure. Trust the bank. Relax. Pay your taxes. The govt will take care of you. See how well CSA is taking care of those kids?

reply to post by LadySkadi


For the longest time since inception of CSA in California, the person who headed up the agency was called Child.

Yes, that was his given name.

Any guesses to where some of the money went? Child's best interest, I bet.

[edit on 16-2-2010 by dzonatas]