Hahaha. Perfect. I've been waiting for such a thread.
Let me tell you what all of this has gotten me. Let me tell you the tale of TheOneElectric~
From my birth, it seemed that I have been destined to be...quite diverse in nature. My parent's both have military service under their belts, so they
were two well traveled individuals. I pretty much grew up next to a military base in the south. As a young African American child, I grew up amongst
children of all different races and ethnicity, spending most of my time on the military base.
Upon exiting elementary school, my mother and father sought out a better education for myself. They had me tested for a fine arts magnet school in the
city. I met the requirements and was accepted. This school went from grades 6-12. Everyone there was quite diverse as well. I met a lot of individuals
from different socio-economic backgrounds. Everyone was talented in one way or another, and best of all everyone had some bit of intelligence. Things
were quite normal except for the fact that it seems that my father's secret interests in aliens, military secrets, alternate history, the occult, and
various other things were being transferred to myself on a subconscious level. It was not until 10th grade when I started to show my "strangeness".
It all started in world history. We were discussing religion, and all of my history channel alternate religion knowledge started to flow. Needless to
say, the students of strong "faith" quickly turned on me in discussion. After that, I realized a few things about the true fears of hell and how it
limits the mind to the lack of general knowledge. These students were afraid to find the history and religions of other cultures interesting because
their belief systems were so ingrained in their minds (mind you, this was a liberal fine arts school, so you can imagine how the rest of the people in
the south must be).
From an early age, I've always discussed aliens with my father. For some reason or another he is completely convinced that they are humans from the
future. I thank him for giving me that alternative view, for it has lead me to the most plausible (IMO) conclusion of the aliens being extra
dimensional in nature. After my 10th grade year, I really started to get over my phobia of Greys and openly research the material. This prompted many
discussions with my father that I still have today (though he believes I have gone a little too far with my conspiracy). Discussing these things with
him was great. My closet friends in my later highschool years would discuss these things with me with open minds as well. It was very entertaining and
provided me with many alternative views. Continuing my highschool career, I always felt out of place, even in this extremely liberal, intelligent, and
diverse setting. I assumed it was just the average highschool feeling. My search for alternative knowledge and information continued. My discussions
with my father continued as well. As I continued through highschool, I just felt more out of place, but I was happy.
I then started college and it was quite different. I enrolled in a school in the south that happens to be close to 95% Caucasian. Well, needless to
say, things were just different. I had, for a while, forgotten to really understand racial barriers for all of those years in my youth. Im 19, so I
can't really say I know anything about racism, so don't think that is where I am going with this. People's expectations are just so, so...so
saddening. My peers in college, they make the funniest faces when they see the music that I listen to includes Bach, Immortal Technique, Muse, and
other diverse selections. Basically, I was the black guy, except the black guy who seemed to be overly proper and not at all like they expected. Too
logical, too intelligent, too rigid, too alien. I already barely felt like I fit in in highschool even when surrounded by people who accepted me. Now,
I just started to feel completely out of place...lost. Needless to say, finding a girlfriend was basically next to impossible. Caucasian females were
the majority, and the minority was almost nonexistent, so I was stuck fishing in a pond of fish that just wouldn't bite. Im not saying that they
wouldn't date me, it just takes an unbelievable amount of effort to find a female who will treat me with a neutral yet friendly disposition in our
first meeting. I tell myself today I'll wait until grad school to find a girl.
....
During my freshman year, I hung out with close friends and attempted to be as friendly as possible with everyone I met. My readings of Vera Stanley
Adler, Graham Hancock, Blavatsky, Ghandi, Dogen, and many others opened expanded my knowledge as I searched. I then began to officially become
immersed within conspiracy. I learned more everyday, every hour, and every minute. I began to meditate and become more spiritual and have had some
good experiences with that. I found ATS and the rest is pretty much ongoing now. I am in my Sophomore year of college. That feeling of being out of
place has become a feeling of completely not belonging. I do not belong, I know it, and I am ok with that..I am not actively searching and jumping at
the opportunity to join something just to be a part of a community. I do not belong, and I am ok with it. This society is not for me, but I am part of
the composite that is one. Anyways, I enjoy the company of my close friends and I act kindly towards just about everyone I can. I do try the party
scene every now and then, but that is always "so-so".
I write fiction, and it seems that it could possibly turn into a lucrative career, though it has nothing to do with my major.
So, to sum it all up, the conspiracy theories are nothing more than myself trying to find the truth. I like to see the other possibilities, and I hope
that I can help to change the world so that one they people like me do not have to "not belong" even though I am perfectly ok with it. The
conspiracy doesn't affect my relationships with individuals too much, it just allows me to think a little more outside of the box.
Sort of stream of consciousness, sorry for it.