Never give away the things that you love

Anything can happen at any time. My third wife for me was my most beloved, she was paralyzed from just below her breasts as the result of a gunshot accident. She was helping her friends grandparents move and while she was picking up a box in their garage her friend had grabbed an old shotgun that had been on a higher shelf. The gun was loaded and cocked, the result of an abandoned suicide that the grandmother had contemplated twenty years before.

We met and fell in love several years after that event and eventually she took her own life, she said it was because she didn't want to hold me back. The irony is that it was the single event that has crippled me ever since. She had one piece of advice in her letter, "Never give away the things that you love."

I have endlessly thought about these words ever since. The irony that she took herself from me. If you have ever loved anything at any time in your life, please keep it with you. I don't care if it's a YoYo from when you were a child, or an 82 Firebird that you couldn't afford at the time. If you still have a chance, go back and get them, and keep them close at all times, next to people, these little things are the most important things in your life.

Never give away your dreams they were put there for a reason, and never give away any of the things that you have ever loved. Hold them sacred, hold them dearly, surround yourself with all of these things. Photos, friendships, letters, and memories, and always keep them with you. Keep them where you can look back and remember. Be bold enough to be the only adult on the block to stand in the driveway jumping rope or rolling around in a pile of leaves... And never give away, the things that you love.

Mementos are a comfort and a reminder.
But tragically some of us loose those things or they may be stolen from us.
Think of the people who lost every possession they had in Katrina. Many people have watched their homes go up in flames. Tragedy often takes our precious possessions.

In order to keep these things one must have some stability in life. People move; things get lost and broken. Some end up homeless and are lucky to have a jacket. It is not wise to tie up your heart in material possessions.

I have found that when you have loss of precious things, it does hurt and it's very hard to get over, but it does help you to realize that possessions and the material are all transient.

And there really is something to be said for giving away the things you love. It can show someone else how much you care for them by transferring the object to them with the story of why it has meant so much to you and why you now wish for them to have it.

I miss some of the mementos I had. It makes me sad to think of it. But the importance should really be on the memories of the people who gave us the mementos.


[edit on 22-12-2009 by Alethea]

I am really sorry about the events that has happened to you.

Please, do not take follwoing as an offense for it isn't meant such. But if you truly love something, you don't want to own it. Wanting to own is lust, greed or something else but not true love. True love doesn't own. The true love always gives.

-v

reply to post by Alethea


I think you are right. It really is all about the memories. Without memories we can only be vacant or a new born child.

reply to post by factbeforefiction


I'm terribly sorry to hear about the loss of your wife, I can't even begin to comprehend what you must be going through, I hope you have many wonderful memories of your time together.

I agree with Alethea, material possessions no matter how precious to us can be lost or stolen, but memories of people, places and special events in our lives never can be.

Precious memories can always be stored within our hearts forever where no one can take them, they can't be lost and they can never ever be given away.

Memories truly are priceless.

[edit on 22-12-2009 by Eevee]

reply to post by factbeforefiction


Its all just stuff in the end. Freedom is not being tied to stuff. I do agree with the jump rope and the pile of leaves, and whatever else your imagination conceives. Remember how to be a child and find joy in the moment, forget the stuff.

Originally posted by factbeforefiction
reply to post by Alethea

 

I think you are right. It really is all about the memories. Without memories we can only be vacant or a new born child.

I came to this world with nothing and i'll leave with nothing but love, everything else is just borrowed.
memories are times we've borrowed, for spending tomorrow.

I hope you find peace, my friend, I hope you find peace... take comfort knowing that she loved you that much, right or wrong action she felt it was right.

Possessions are not the answer, rich people are seldom happy for long, Ive worked with some people in 3rd world condition who were far happier than anyone I know, just happy at being alive, just happy to see beauty in a world of ugliness, to have friends and be human...

If you ever feel sad go be with people, be kind, help anyone in need, it will reflect back to you. And never forget with out darkness light would not seem bright!

I would also like to extend my condolences to you. I couldn't imagine a pain so great, and irreversible as the one your late wife has left you with. It's a pitty to realize that while she loved you enough, right or wrong, to do this in a misconstrued effort to give you freedom and happiness without even expressing her distraught state and thoughts to you for your opinion. Like the others, yeah, personal mementos are nice, and do deliver on the comfort of memories they bring you, but these are things that will ever replace what is in your heart and mind.

Take comfort in the fact that if she was honest about not holding you back, that you will eventually be able to recover from this and press forward. You will never, ever let the memory fade, and you know that. Just remember that she will be the first to greet you when you pass, and she will walk with you hand in hand as she shows you around your new home.

Easier said than done, I do understand, and again, I'm sorry.