So today I feel...blah

While I am person that gives a general respect to everyone simply because they exist, there are a few people out there that earn (by there actions and words and being) the ability that receive special recognition enough that I would call them what is a common term to most, (but a guarded term to me) a friend.

So this morning I have come to find that one has gone.

Death to me is like life. A condition of being. I don't really mourn the dead. I am the one in the funeral home sitting there with the dry eyes. The support for the others, I suppose.

But today is different, my friend is not dead. But simply gone. Gone without a word, no explanation, no understandable reason. Not even sure if this was a choice for my friend. Just gone. So I am left both wondering and not sure how to deal with it.

That is the difficulty of a friendship (or any relationship I suppose) not everything is within your control. Yes, many people have come and gone over the course of my life, and I thought that I was used to that. But for some reason, this time it is different, to my perspective. So the best I that I can describe what I feel is blah.