The Irwin Enigma: A tale of deceit, lies and forked tongues

Beginnings

This thread is a study into an extremely interesting conspiracy that has been explained to me by a contact I have in the Australian government, and in no way have I made any of it up whilst really bored.

This conspiracy revolves around a certain Steve Irwin, also know by his pseudonym "The Crocodile Hunter". Shown below, the man was (and still is) an icon of Australian culture.



I'm sure you all know of this man's legacy. An animal conservationist, adored by millions of fans around the world, Irwin was best known for his dangerous duels with large reptiles, primarily crocodiles. Although Irwin never harmed the animals, his headstrong approach to handling these mighty beasts earned him the name "The Crocodile Hunter". Unfortunately this cult icon was killed in 2006 by a freak stingray attack. It is often stressed that stringrays are harmless, and that the barbed tail could only do any damage if it pierced the heart. Alarmingly, this is exactly what occurred in the events that surrounded Steve's untimely and tragic death. The barb pierced deep into The Croc Hunter's chest, ending his life within hours.

So why did this improbable attack occur? The probability of the barb killing Irwin by chance was extremely small, so, undoubtedly, many fans cried foul. Although there was an uproar against the media explanation, no one could think of any other explanation to replace it with.

That is, until I received word from my friend in the Australian government, whose name I cannot disclose for their own personal safety.

He told me a tale so shocking, so mind-boggling, that at first I was skeptical even of this man who I have known all my life. And I am going to tell you this tale tonight.

Scale Tales

Many of you ATS users will know of the Reptilian conspiracy; the idea that many of our world leaders are in fact reptilian aliens, hell-bent on enslaving or destroying mankind in some sort of master plan. Whether they are possessed, or literally aliens in a human skin.

Suspected members of this ring of scaly guys include both George Bush senior and junior. Below is an image of George Bush Senior, after supposedly letting his guard down. Note the snake-like pupils.



Throughout their reigns, these Reptilian leaders control the flow of history in subtle ways to provide the optimum outcome for themselves.
The Iraq War.

9/11.

Afghanistan.

These are just some examples of events that George Bush Junior manipulated for the greater Reptilian good. Though these are the most obvious examples, there are many more occurrences that have contributed to the Reptilian regime.

Including the assassination of Mr. Irwin.

"What?! Preposterous!" I hear you say, but wait. It will all be explained in due course.

The Crocodile Hunter
Firstly, let us look at symbolism and empowerment that the "Crocodile Hunter" image supplies:

A mere mortal earth-man, wrestling and overpowering the only survivors of an earthly kingdom of reptiles that once held dominion over the entire planet. Doing all of this with his bare hands, the man was a figurehead, an embodiment of human resourcefulness.

Dinosaurs were wiped out by a team of the aliens we know as Greys, after it was realised that they could potentially evolve into a new, deadly colony of Reptilians, with superior mental capacity than any other sub-species of the Reptilian race.



[Cntnd in next post]

This is not George Bush Senior.

Originally posted by harryallard
Below is an image of George Bush Senior, after supposedly letting his guard down. Note the snake-like pupils.

[edit on 10/25/2009 by Finalized]

reply to post by Finalized


i was going to say the same thing....who is that guy? i dont know, but it sure isnt GWB senior...

A better picture of the evil reptile George Bush Senior?
[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/03b1fa292d8d.png[/atsimg]
(c) Vitaloverdose 2009


[edit on 25-10-2009 by VitalOverdose]

The nuclear bombs used by these Greys left the dinosaurs to die out slowly and inconspicuously, due to the massive amounts of radiation left behind. Due to their ability to hide in places that other reptiles could not, colonies of crocodilians managed to survive the fallout, but their survival came at a cost. These previously intelligent beings were reduced to a bumbling mess of an animal. Although still deadly, the crocodilians were stripped of their intellectual prowess.

Despite the invalidity of these creatures as part of the great Reptilian race, the Reptilian rulers developed a fondness for them, as human cultures would develop a similar fondness for War Heroes.

When Steve Irwin shot to fame for straddling these ancient survivors in weighted grapples, stripping these heroes of their glory, the greater Reptilians were offended and disgusted.



George W. Bush saw this man's activities on his television, and was instantly aware of the imagery present in these grapples. The image of mankind overpowering the Reptilians, defiling their culture, disrespecting their ways and their past. The Reptilian leaders met in a UN conference out of the media spotlight, behind closed doors, and discussed the issues at hand.

It was decided that the threat must be eliminated, and that Irwin's assassination was the only option.

Years of planning and research fueled the plot, a plot so complex and tangled that no one would ever guess.

The Assassination
A complicated domino-line of events was put into play by the "powers that be", that would lead to the bizarre and unexpected death of this would-be piece of living propaganda against the Reptilians. Many of these events would slowly erode public support for the Crocodile Hunter, until his death would pass without suspicion.

One such event included the dangerous activity of dangling his infant child above an enraged crocodilian.



This insane stunt was achieved by transmitting a high frequency signal through an inconspicuous earpiece he was wearing at the time for the television recordings. This frequency pushed Irwin into a waking trance state, during which advanced binaural beats were fed to him. In this state, the Reptilian cabinet of George W. Bush controlled Irwin's actions with electrical impulses omitted from an orbital satellite.

The assassination itself, the final part of this tapestry, was achieved using advanced nanotechnology and robotics. Steve, looking to rebuild his fame, followed a tip-of from an anonymous caller in search of a "rare albino stingray"

The stingray, an early prototype of which is shown in the video below:



Used a highly advanced nanotechnological brain, the stringray could easily pinpoint a suitable strike point at which to deal a blow to Irwin's chest. The cutting-edge neurotoxin in the ray's barb could kill Steve Irwin in a manner that would leave no trace, quickly and cleanly.

After the attack, and the Crocodile Hunter's death, the robotic ray's water-soluble materials eroded away, leaving no trace.

The Aftermath

The explanation of Irwin's death was widely accepted by the world population as a tragic freak accident. However, there were some hints at foul play in the commentary of Steve Irwin's funeral, causing an uproar in Australian conspiracy theories.
This story, which I believe to almost certainly be true, has never before been disclosed to the public. The allegations of Reptilian leadership, murder and war crimes in this intricate web of secrecy are dangerous to utter, even on a public forum, yet I am willing to accept that risk, if it means that the truth can be kno


[edit on 25-10-2009 by harryallard]

Sorry, wrong pic used. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed that

[edit on 25-10-2009 by harryallard]

Now THAT is a conspiracy theory.

George Bush, secret cabals, assassinations, Grey Aliens, Reptilians Aliens.


I think you pretty much got them all!

I don't blame the Ray for sticking Steve, after all, the guy did jump onto its back seconds before being barbed. There was a little footage taken immediately prior to being hit by the barb of Steve doing as I said.

So why he was killed should come as no surprise as he alway, always took liberty with all the creatures he found and some day one of them had to get him good.

No comments on the reptilian agenda thing due to having my own experiences physically and astrally with what could be called reptilians, and, because I do not wish to be involved in the argument over their reality or lack of.

edit to fix spelling from lack of morning coffee

[edit on 25-10-2009 by Tayesin]

How can you tell the difference between a Crocodile and a Crocodilian? There's a restaurant I frequent that sometimes serves croc meat, and I want to make sure I am not eating an advanced sentient life form. Maybe when the Greys finally have the chance to reveal themselves they can resurrect the late great Mr. Irwin to help us battle the dangerous Crocodilian race! But who will save us from the Alligatorians? So many advanced species here on earth that I don't think we stand a chance. Between the Chameleonites, the Turtlians and the Toadies it's pretty much curtains for us, not even taking into account the advances nano-controlled robots of the deep! How have I been so blind?

Steve Irwin died the way he lived, with animals in his heart.

To begin with Irwin died almost immediately after pulling the barb out.

If he had not done that there was a possibility he may have survived but doubtful.

He was offered a chest protector by a marine biologist that was with the group but refused it.

The rest of this post is the biggest crock of croc crap I have read on ATS.

And an insult to the memory of Steve and his family and fans.

It's not an insult, I'm a massive fan, this was just a little idea I had in my head. Please don't take this seriously, people

Originally posted by harryallard


That is, until I received word from my friend in the Australian government, whose name I cannot disclose for their own personal safety.

Is this person a janitor in some government building, who has a wild imagination?

I'm sorry, but if some government official told you all of this, the only thing this person needs to be afraid of is men in white coats who might come calling.

Honestly, doesn't this person have more important things to do, like pass some silly new tax laws?

reply to post by harryallard


I am sorry, Steve Irwin was an idiot who exploited wildlife until he realised he could make more money out of pretending to care for them.

As for your so called conspiracy I am appalled that this has not been removed. This is obviously a joke on your behalf, or you truly are deluded. The give away was when you tried to justify why the loser would dangle his baby son in front of a crocodile.

The whole story comes across like you are trying to pull the *iss out of ATS.

Grow up – please.

Oh, and before you retort with "don't shoot the messenger", you best produce a witness, documents or some other corroborating evidence. What do they say? “Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence”???

Originally posted by kommunist

Now THAT is a conspiracy theory.

George Bush, secret cabals, assassinations, Grey Aliens, Reptilians Aliens.

I think you pretty much got them all!

He forgot to include reference to the end of the world..

Well obviously the reptilian plot will be completed in 2012

Originally posted by WorldObserver
reply to post by harryallard

 

I am sorry, Steve Irwin was an idiot who exploited wildlife until he realised he could make more money out of pretending to care for them.

You should be sorry the man was a Aussie icon.
Explain exactly how he exploited wildlife.

The man was a true environmentalist and friend and protector of all the wild life and fauna as is his father and most likely his children will be.

Take a trip to the Australia Zoo and see some of his earlier accomplishments and what he created and what alot of his earnings went towards.

Regarding this so called conspiracy theory, i can't even say nice try, it's totally stupid and I bet you know that which makes me think maybe your stupid too.

Where is all this coming from, why are people taking this seriously? Or even think that I am? This is a joke, pure fiction. I obviously got the idea of Skunkworks wrong! I'm not taking the p*ss out of ATS or anything, I love this site. All I did in this thread was write a satirical conspiracy that is taking a jab at the more extreme conspiracy theories out there, so the aggression isn't really necessary

If I have got the wrong idea of Skunkworks, and people think I'm being mocking and nasty, please take this down! I'd rather not look like a nasty guy than keep this little story online!