How to survive if in jail? Any advice?

reply to post by wayouttheredude

There is actually not really much of that force gay crap that I have seen in real life. Most of those tho are treated like bitches in prison really are in fact that way by their nature. That myth serves the coppers to scare the whiners into confessions more than anything else.

now your getting the goods op

reply to post by wayouttheredude


Let me quote myself from the OP...

Originally posted by highlyoriginal
Without getting into why I got my DUI's and such, I was wondering what would happen if something big were to occur while I were in jail. For the sake of argument let's just say that a nuclear attack were to happen and the US and Iran were at war or something, what would happen to me as I'd be in jail?

^^Where do you see me asking advice about being in jail? Everyone who has given me advice has just offered it without me asking. I simply asked a different question and somehow it got all twisted up into the rules of being in jail and all this bs. I am not f-ing scared of a month in jail, and I definitely don't need anyones BS replies about some stupid homo jokes that do not apply to me what so ever. Anyone who has to say stupid sh*t like that is the one with the problems, not myself.

reply to post by randyvs


You may not agree with what I said in that sentence "Tiger in a cage attitude" but I would say no one ever messed with me. One guy did early on and I made him an example but from then on not a single problem. That one guy talked tough through the bars but when the cage door opened he was not saying anything. Everyone noticed.

I never had another problem. Physically though I do 100 + push ups per day out of habit and just never had anyone give me any reason to be concerned. (ex combat arms military vet) This was in Texas State. Lots of hard timers there so I am not talking about some city or county time with a bunch of drunks and skinny little street corner coke bangers like in county.

reply to post by wayouttheredude


Well I also show cased your other remark.
So you handled who ever you squared off with.
Dosn't mean that was good advice for someone else.
Or the same thing would happen twice for you.
Know what I mean stud?

Also op I just gave you some advice not becuase you asked for it.

It was merely first timers advice.
I just gave you what I knew about. If it's not apppreciated.
Damn sorry I wasted my time.

Check out your heading.

[edit on 6-10-2009 by randyvs]

reply to post by randyvs


I said thanks multiple times in this thread to everyone who contributed good advice to me, I was talking about the people who have a stick up their a$$ and feel the need to contribute things that aren't needed.

And I was just making a point to show that I had made my thread for another reason other than stated in someone elses post.

I spent a day at the county jail talking to guards and inmates as part of my research for a book I'm working on. Here's what I learned that pertains to your situation:

If you can't get house arrest volunteer to work as a trustee. Some county jails will give you 3 for 1 time for working as a trustee if you stay out of trouble.

Make sure you have money (cash) on you when you check in and have it put on your account. You can survive on the extra food you buy, the jail food sucks and you will lose weight if you only eat the jail diet. Sometimes they won't let you use cash on your person or will delay it so have someone on the outside ready to put money on your account for you.

I talked to a guy who was locked up in Houston County when a tropical storm flooded the entire city for a couple of weeks. He said as things got worse the guards started leaving (the downtown area flooded pretty quick) and then no one showed up for work.

For three days there was no power, no water and everyone was locked in the cells. A single guard managed to get there and dragged a giant trash bag of juice and snacks around and passed out bottled water (we're taking about a jail that's 10 floors high and overcrowded).

Some in mates got out of the pods and ran around, set mattresses on fire and broke into some stuff but they couldn't get anywhere other than the common areas around the cells on that floor. Everyone on the floors where inmates broke out of the cells got hit with escape charges later.

Eventually (7 days after the storm) emergency workers and then police showed up but in the meantime the inmates had to deal with no food, nothing to drink but the water and juice the one guard brought them and backed up toilets, stifling heat, etc.

There were quite a few assaults and more than a few deaths, some from lack of medication and others from violence.

The minimum security trustees were left with open cell doors and access to the kitchens, another reason to sign up for work. The guards treat trustees better, feed them better, give them clean clothes and shoes and some even interact with them like normal people. Having a job helps pass the time, the worst thing about jail is the way time stands still.



[edit on 6-10-2009 by ecoparity]

Two pieces of Advice that i learned.
1.Scan dont stare.
2.Find like minded people to watch your back/watch their back.(People of the same Race as you, Dont cross racial lines or no one will accept you)

Good Luck.

reply to post by highlyoriginal


Wait lol Whats supposed to happen on October 25th

So about a months time? You'll spend this in a pod of non violent criminals in your local county jail. I won't get into my life story but I've spend quite some time in and out of county jails, it's a cake walk. This isn't prison or state jail. You won't really have to worry about watching your back or none of that, maybe your commisary or extra pillow lol. County jail is easy, don't get all worked up thinking it will be like what you see in the movies because it's not. Most people in county are there for similiar reasons, they have a short term to do and aren't trying to make it any longer. Now, if you end up going to an actual prison or state jail, then message me, I have some tips for that.

Edit: Lol I guess it would have helped to read more than the thread title and your first sentence lol. I thought you were just worried about bein in jail :\ umm, nevermind then I guess lol

[edit on 7-10-2009 by -NewSense-]

reply to post by -NewSense-


I was going to wait for someone to make this dintinction. County jail is one thing but Federal Prison and state pens are a WHOLE nother beast. County jail isn't that bad, especially not for a month. Suck it up and quit worrying. You'll be fine. Whatever you do learn how to defend yourself. I don't mean learn how to fight I mean learn how to defend yourself. You can start with these websites.........there is a difference between self defense and fighting.

www.defenseinstitute.com www.veearnisjitsu.com

Knowing HOW to defend yourself will help you to avoid those situations and give you the confidence to deal with them.

[edit on 7-10-2009 by Zosynspiracy]

reply to post by highlyoriginal


Alot of people are making the mistake of giving you advice about surviving jail, its all helpful but that isn't what you asked.

You asked about surviving in jail if something happened outside of jail!

I can see why though, most people would be more concerned about whats going on inside jail than whats going on outside of it.

It's all useful advice however and if I was you I wouldn't worry too much about either situation.

advice that I have had. I will share...

living in fear is the worst you can do.
The best thing is to turn to meditation. Go after Hemi-Sync tapes from Monroe institute, get in touch with the aliens, higher self, etc.

There is many stories of people with "intent" who have mysteriously been able to disappear from their jail and free themselves.

Do not choose fear.
Choose looking inside yourself and improving.

To the op,why not look into what happens to prisoners in a case of martial law.
What things would be done for or against prisoners.
We know what happens regulaly but what happens in case of martial law?
Fat chance but if thats what concerns you then do a bit of digging into the martial law rules and prisoners in jails.
Good luck.

On your first day find the biggest white dude and knock him out.
On the second day find the biggest mexican dude and knock him out.
On the third day find the biggest black dude and knock him out.
On the 4th day you will be top dog man and will not have any fear of picking up pennies in the shower.
That's what I would do but I'm a nutter.

a reply to: testingtesting

Only 9 years late.

Congratulations on becoming a Necro.

a reply to: testingtesting


Your biceps are like two wet noodles, the only way you'd knock someone out in the joint is if you paid Jesse Ventura to do it for you.

a reply to: Lysergic

Holy crap it wasn't me someone else bumped it up. About the fifth necrosis thread I have been in today.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

I have my enforcer a five foot Chinese autistic chap who I look after who looks like odd job.
I'm the only one he doesn't batter.
But when he goes good god it took 8 of us last night.

a reply to: testingtesting

That necro couldn't control the unbridled powah of resurrecting a thread and thus he was banished to the salt mines of Kalath.