(TTSSC) They came from the stars.

The demons came from the stars. I could even show you which he said they came from, if we could see the stars anymore. It was once believed that evil came from below and that God and the hosts of good lived above. Funny that we could have it so wrong, there is evil above. But that is not what you came to hear is it? You came to hear of the times before the darkness, the times of flame and sadness, how the demons made it so no longer could the stars, sun and moon smiled down upon us in their benevolence.
I was very young when they came, maybe five or six relightings of the fires. They came to us in great ships promising prosperity, advancement and enlightenment. But in the end, all they gave us was enslavement, conflict and death. Like I said I was a very young when they came and it was such a long time ago. But I still remember the day as if it were yesterday. Our government. What is a government you say? Think of it as a larger council of elders bringing together many different communities, there was of course many more of us in those days. It is the great misery of the old to know exactly how much we have lost, but I don’t expect you to understand that. Anyway, our scientists reported that they detected large objects just outside our solar system hurtling through space at impossible speeds. There were those that said those objects would be our doom, but, we laughed them off as paranoid.
Shortly afterwards, we received transmitions from those objects. I never heard those messages. But our governments assured us their intentions were peaceful, again perhaps we should have listened to those we dismissed as paranoid. So, we prepared to welcome our visitors. The various governments of course grandstanded, bickered and argued as to whom should have the honor to be chief in welcoming our incoming “friends”.
Anyway, a nation, that's another word for government, across the sea secured that honor. I am not sure how exactly, I just know they did, though they would suffer for it in the end. The day quickly drew near that they would be landing. I and all the people on our planet who could not or would not attend the landing was glued to our TV sets. We watched as the three huge ships entered our atmosphere and came to float stationary over that nation's capital city and smaller crafts landed upon the lawn of that nation's leader's home. That was when we saw them. In my young naivete I expected them to look like us, I could not have been more wrong. They were, alien, hidious looking if you were to ask me at that time. I could not imagine the world they came from where before in my young mind I rather thought it was like home.

Please note: It IS a work in progress but I was hoping for some opinions for what I have gotten thus far. I will be editting this first post to add more.

[edit on 3-10-2009 by Watcher-In-The-Shadows]

A growing room of great potential, the essence has begun... S&F.

line/line;2.

reply to post by Watcher-In-The-Shadows


Nice Watcher. If you are looking for pointers I would first suggest breaking this story up into proper paragraphs. It will be easier to read. The premise is great man, I love it. I do know it has to be five hundred words though so make sure to check that. You don't have much time now, so get busy my friend. S+F!

Your story is what is called a 'preamble' or setting the stage and a darn good vision of an uncertain future it is too. I'm reminded of how things went early in the movies 'Mars attacks' and 'Independence Day'. The preconceived notion that the intent is peaceful is as dangerous as the opposite.

We should be VERY cautious on how to receive aliens when and if they come. For me, I would think major cities would be a very wrong place to be when that happens.

Sorry. I was unable to finished due to my net deciding it didn't want to work for a few days.