Do you believe in signs from the universe or purely coincidence?

I don't want to turn this into a relationship advice column, so I'll try to be as brief as possible with my experiences.

Ever since I could remember, I notice a lot pretty cool coincidences throughout my days. A lot of things seem to be linked, whether it be through dreams or normal daily activities/events. Never really think anything about them, just think they're pretty cool.

Lately, well, or the past year, they've been pretty intense. I met a man who I absolutely fell for right off the bat, and as far as I know, he did as well. Because of certain circumstances, we couldn't be together and although I tried keeping in contact, all communication had been cut off, it was like neither of us existed to each other. Of course, this broke my heart. It hurt every single day, normal feelings.

I'd have to say that me and him connected on an emotional, even possibly spiritual level, or at least something way different than what I've been used to. Psychologically, I thought about him all the time so it would make sense to "see" things that reminded me of him. But that's not what I'm getting at here. When I first met him, and the actual moment where a little spark of a connection rose, was when he asked me what type of music I listened to, when I mentioned Smashing Pumpkins, he almost did a back flip and showed me his SP tattoo. I thought it was pretty cool, we have things in common. This seems to be the source of everything that revolves around these types of signs. Even listening to them in the car one day we both said at the same time "Billy Corgan is such a douche" and just busted out in laughter because of the timing of that.

Even after the breakup, I'd find that that particular band not only popped up a lot more throughout my everyday life, but I felt like it was trying to tell me something? And yes, you can say because it reminds me of him, that it has heightened my awareness of the band. I agree, but here are a few things that have stuck out in my head:

-I was playing rock band one day, being bored, I went to play the Smashing Pumpkins song that's on there, and before I started playing I just said, if me and him get back together some day, I'll get a 100% on this song. Mind you, I've never gotten a 100% on anything on rock band, I just got it. Even more interesting, while playing it, I was doing pretty well, I thought to myself hey maybe I will get a 100% and then go on to miss a couple notes, pretty much blowing it. After I finished the song, I saw my score. It said I got a 100%. Since when do you get a 100% after missing quite a few notes?

-Everytime I think about a memory with him right when I'm about to go somewhere in my car, I chuckle at our fun times, turn on the ignition and on the radio will be a SP song. There's was actually a time where I couldn't even listen to the band and hated that I'd hear them everywhere I go because it would make me so sad. Even more worse is when a friend starts singing them right in front of you.

Anyway, silly things like that continued to happen throughout the past year as I tried moving on with my life. I even dated again, which kept my mind off of things although these "signs" continued. But that didn't last.

Here comes the more intense stuff. About a month ago, I had an extremely vivid dream of me and him back in each others arms, reunited, back together. It felt so real I can remember me thinking in my head while dreaming, I can't believe we are actually back together. Then I woke up and realizing it wasn't real, felt like someone hit me in the stomach with a bat. I felt so sad, it was like the breakup all over again.

About 2 weeks after that, we saw each other at a party. Not wanting to get hurt again, I tried my best to avoid him and not even make eye contact. No matter how hard I tried, no matter how hard I resisted, we talked, all initiated by him, and by the end of the night we were acting like we used to, friends though.

I even decided to re-add him on facebook and we've been talking almost everyday nonstop either through the internet or through text messaging. And it's been like that for pretty much the past 2 weeks. We're talking to each other like we did before we got together and even while we were together.

Even more interesting, the signs continue. Here's a pretty cool one; We were texting back in forth one night and I randomly had a thought of a silly song from a childhood show in my mind and I sent it to him. Kinda shocked and astonished, he said how right when I said that him and his friend were currently listening to that exact song on his phone. I jokingly boasted and told him I may be psychic and he laughed and disagreed .

Another strange account was about a song me and him were both really fond of, the coldplay song "the scientist", which is pretty much about regret and lost loved, or at least that's what I interpret. Anyway, I had a few lines of that stuck in my head so I just put it as my facebook status. After that, I kept hearing the song on the radio throughout the entire day. This one isn't as interesting, but I'd like to make a note of it.

It seems like we connect through music and such. Not sure what to make out of it. OF course, most would think I'm crazy. But it's strange to me as well, and I can't help but think something is going on and something is "there".

What is your stance on things like this?

It is interesting that this seems to take place through music.

I am a firm believer in music being more of a force, a potential upon which we still have not fully tapped.

I have experienced much synchronicity within the past 2 years. I notice now more than ever that your thoughts (mind) are integrated into the reality that we experience. In essence, we create the reality we see and invision, what we think is what we become, etc.

So no, I do not think that you are crazy. I believe we are all opening up channels to higher consciousness and abilities.

I don't believe in coincidences. I think the universe is communicating with us constantly. Everything has its own reason for being there or appearing at a specific time.

All you can see, hear, touch, think, smell, taste, or in other words, the physical experience, is a map. A map to what? What are we trying to find? We are trying to find ourselves.

It sounds like you’ve explained it pretty well yourself. There are two main things going on; the first is the fact that you remember the coincidences above the mundane, i.e. things that surprise you tend to cause you to embellish and attempt to explain the experience thus reinforcing the memory. This of course leads to you to believe that the number of coincidences are disproportionate to what they should be even though they're not.

The second thing is related to another way in which memory works. Another way in which memories are recalled is through association; if you associate red with fire engine then when you see the colour red you’ll automatically think of a fire engine. What you describe is a more intricate example of that process, you have formed a strong association between certain songs and this person and this person and certain emotional states; thus a song brings forth thoughts of this person which in turn induces that same emotional state (of course the absence of this person also induces other emotions).

This certainly isn’t crazy and it definitely shouldn’t detract from the value of your relationship; quite the opposite really, the fact that you've made such strong associations involving this person is testament to how much you obviously feel for them.

reply to post by Mike_A


You're exactly right, which is why I'm asking what people think. I'm not totally sure if I should believe these things to be coincidences or patterns just overshadowed by the mind. It could be purely psychological, I'm not sure. I'd like to believe there's a connection there.

It doesn't exactly explain the dream I had though and then 2 weeks later out of the blue after a year of no contact or communication, we see each other again and BOOM we are hitting it off again, which could possibly lead us to reconciling. Of course wishful thinking could be an explanation, I wouldn't mind it happening.

reply to post by dnttreadonme900


I think it’s erroneous to think that such things as either being “just coincidences” or having some other deeper meaning.

I would say that these are just coincidences but the fact that you notice them, the fact that you perceive them as significant and the fact that you remember them confers on them a deeper meaning. As I said, these facts are evidence that you have deep feelings for this person, you wouldn’t be making these connections if we were talking about a film you found mildly amusing for example.

It’s not the universe or some other great power telling you something but rather it’s your own mind telling you. Just as important imho, if not more so.

As for the dream, there are a few possible explanations. It could just be a pure coincidence, after all given the huge numbers of people in the world some must experience something a bit freaky every day.

It could also be that you’ve had these dreams a lot but because they haven’t been followed up in reality you just forget them. This last dream being the obvious exception due to the contiguity between the dream and the experience.

It could also be that you have a had one or more vague dreams that follow a similar “storyline” to what you described. However when you met this person again your brain recalled the last of such dreams and, due to the imperfect nature of memory recall, you filled in the gaps making it seem more significant than it was. If this (or the second possibility) was the case, and these dreams happened often then it would be inevitable that when you did eventually run into each other again it would seem like an improbable coincidence when it fact it was inevitable (unless you didn’t meet again in which case you probably wouldn’t remember the dream).

On a side note it really does sound like you have very strong feelings for him so I’d say go for it; better you try and it not work than you never try at all.


[edit on 27-8-2009 by Mike_A]

reply to post by Mike_A


Good points. I've had dreams about him during this time, not sure they were the same like this one. This one I'm talking about was very substantial because right after waking up, I thought to myself, I wonder if this is telling me something? Of course, I dismissed it. It had been a year since I've seen or heard from him, why should I let myself down by contacting him again just because I had a silly dream.

Funny though, unrelated to him, but when I did date in between the breakup and now, I was with this really tool of a man. Anyway, one night I had a dream he was reconciling with his ex girlfriend. The next day, I find out he's been cheating on me with his ex. Nevertheless, he was gone out of my life.

I think that could be why I take this dream very seriously, if not as a premonition?

reply to post by dnttreadonme900


It’s not that the fact that you had a dream but rather the reason you had the dream. Whether you put it down to cosmic signs or just your own brain being preoccupied with him the fact of the matter is that both show that you clearly like him! What more reason is there than that?

reply to post by dnttreadonme900


Okay, I had to think about this a bit before I allowed myself to put myself out there. You are very brave to do this in my opinion.

The things you speak of are familiar to me. It has been a 5 year struggle as of today. Coincidence?? There are no coincidences in my opinion.

I met a man as well. The only man since my divorce that I immediately knew I wanted to go out with.

I took several months since he was seeing someone but tho he is shy and timid even, he pursued me relentlessly. I instinctively drew back when I touched him, was afraid and knew that one of us was going to get hurt and at the same time knew I would never hurt him. God, I wish I had tuned in to the prospect of my being hurt.

Things in common: He was born to older parents and I was raised by grandparents the same age as his parents, we once lived on the same street within a very few blocks ( if any) from each other. We married at the same age, named our one son the same name, we eat the same, he carved wood and I painted on wood, we used the same archaic words and on and on.
Music, we listened to the same music and liked the same singers.

I didn't like guns but he was an avid gun collector and hunter. My ex bought a gun when a young girl was killed at a local college. It was his cousin.

I had precognitive dreams about him but my wishful thinking didn't let me tune in at the time.

I believe he is a past life partner. I have never had anyone effect me to this degree and don't believe I will ever get over the intense connection.

It is said that soul mate encounters are among the hardest to resolve. Tho he went with some else, he never guite let me go as I haven't him.

It seems to me that the two of you are going in the right direction. It is my sincere desire that it works for the two of you.

There is another intense spiritual connection ( for me at least) that I will discuss with you in a U2U if you wish.

thanks everyone. all i can say now is, that no matter what happens, if we eventually get back together or not, I'll always think of him as something special. part of me thinks I'll never find someone like him again, that could just be the grieving process, but who knows.

All I Can say is Why do you have to ask? You should be busy Jumping up and DOWN!!!! Because your meeting him to me, IMOP is a certainly CONFIRMATION of the power of intention, and the "signs" are fully confirmed being that you are talking to him and he is in you life at this moment!.

I would be busy thanking the Universe for the gift you have received as it is certainly the Universe working and putting you in place for your Heart's Desire to take Place. All you are required to do is know that you have learned from your Mistakes of the past, seek the HIGHEST GOOD for you both, that your desire is in alignment for what's best for all involved.

You want someone to confirm for you that it is SAFE to believe, and I understand that fear. That fear in your head is telling you not to KNOW what's in your heart. In truth there is nothing to fear. It is up to you and him willingly to create this future. If the Man is willing it will happen. Be patient, trust that you have been heard!!!! LOL

What a wonderful story, when the time is right...you will be able to share with him your story, If you have received these confirmations, then my dear the choice is yours to believe! That is the free will. The Universe works in accordance with your belief. And, if your belief had been confirmed then now you must grow, to the point where you no longer believe you KNOW.

I personally loved your story! It is encouraging, brave and honest. Most people would be too concerned with how they look if they posted what you have even though they cant be seen. Please let me know how it ends. Focus on the Truth of this experience no fear, and all will be well. Your are so blessed to have even your dreams be confirmed!!! Listen dont doubt...lest you let your fear ruin you blessing that seems certain to come. If you just know, not believe but KNOW that the Universe has certainly heard your prayer, and if your love for this man is not just coincidences but also UNCONDITIONAL love then...leave your left finger available, if he is with someone respect that just Trust and you will be fine.