Infestation

Originally posted by mortalengine
Do you realise how funny this is ? ....I mean you cant honestly be afraid of the squirrels, can you ?

Unless of course we're talking about THESE squirrels....

or possibly These ?

or... what about These

In which case you're pretty screwed... otherwise I would just relax and let them get on with their nuthunting.

Ok. That's hilarious.

As for the "infestation". Get a 12 guage shotgun and DO WORK! What more can I say? So, you live in an area where shotguns are not good? Okay, then get a b-b gun. If they are that bad (seems to be more funny than dangerous) Set traps. Buy rat traps from LOWES or HOME DEPOT.

I think that you're screwed. These animals have been waiting on a tall, complacent, human to overtake. One by one, they will surrond your estate and begin the annihilation of everything sub-squirrel. They didn't spend all these years setting up their SWO for nothing. (Squirrel World Order)

Just look at the new currency they've come up with. The Squirre-o. They had you since day 1!

reply to post by pieman


I threw the shoe, yes. Why? Because I knew what was going on. The little guy was checking the house out from the garden. Since that happened there's been unprovoked attacks. Unprovoked attacks on me and others. I did nothing to begin with, they just started massing until now, where they seem to be scheming against us.

reply to post by havok


I couldn't hurt soomething alive! If it's a person that deserves it then yeah but not a little fluffy thing. I mean I know that they're evil (round here at least) but still, they're alive. It isn't just me that's been done either! They don't care, they'll do any of us. I had one run over my foot the other day. A few weeks ago (thank goodness for my hat) one jumped on my head! I've been scratched too (I'm ok, not infected with anything).

A nice pot of squirrel and okra burgoo sounds like a good way to deal with these pesky rodents. Oh, and a chainsaw will come in handy to clean up the fallen trees these little rascals use to isolate you.

Sort of reminds me of the killer rabbit that swam out to greet Jimmy Carter and tried to climb into his canoe to attack him.

reply to post by Ramadwarf Philes


This thread is cracking me up now

If this is really happening and the squirrels are really trying to invade the house then you only have three choices.

1) Sell the house and make sure that you move at night, that way they wont follow otherwise your going to be moving a lot.

2) Invest in a packet of nuts and leave them in a breadcrumb trail all the way into you pre heated oven and invite some family over for dinner. Tell them its chicken and laugh at the evil squirrels outside as you eat their demented leader.

3) Put a white flag up in your garden, if this is not possible a white dish cloth should suffice. Please note - surrendering can be a risky option as they might take you hostage and demand an infinite supply of nuts and we all know the government does not negotiate with terrorists.

This is an optional one and I cannot guarantee that this one would work unlike the other ones. Acknowledge that you might be getting slightly paranoid or have an irrational fear of squirrels. No offence intended.

Always remember to keep wary of TSTB.

It could be rabbits....





[edit on 2-7-2009 by XXXN3O]

reply to post by Ramadwarf Philes


I think it's clear whats going on here, it's obvious from the things you've said that what you've inadvertantly stumbled apon here is a sick and twisted squirrel drug and porn ring. They obviously see you as a threat and clearly dont like you muscling into their turf. I think they're leaving you no other option other than to adopt a boa constrictor or something similar. Apparently they dont like any of the following:red-tailed hawks, wildcats, foxes, owls, raccoons, and opossums.

Having said that.... have you considered finding yourself a new pad ? I mean it's pretty obvious you're in over your head, things could get ugly and when they do, lets be honest - there are few things as embarrassing as being ravaged to death by squirrels. It's almost as bad as dying from being beaten to death with a marshmallow.

What about the force ? - have we considered the fact that these might actually be highly trained, lethal sith squirrels ? .. I mean it's not impossible these days...

reply to post by XXXN3O


TSTB... thats brilliant - haha.... this thread is cracking me up

I also liked "the squirr-o" currency ^^

[edit on 7/2/09 by mortalengine]

reply to post by Ramadwarf Philes


i've just found this on another discussion board, SATS, would you care to explain?

i'm telling you guys, i was attacked by some sort of giant bald monkey creature from inside one of those big square trees, hit me right on the tail with some sort of smelly rock that he shot out of his paw, i'm not making this up!!! i had some evidence, if i remember where it's buried i'll post it here later

seems to me that your estate is the squirrel equivalent of skinwalker ranch.

reply to post by mortalengine


Uh, I'm sorry but maybe I'm missing this one: Porn Ring?
I've just been to the newsagents and you know how many squirrels I saw on my journey there and back? Fourteen. That's 14 squirrels there! In total, a five minute journey. 14.
To reiterate: Porn Ring?

Ramadwarf questions accusations of Blue-Squirrels

reply to post by pieman


Um, well that seems a bit wierd. I don't question him/her though, in fact I find it extremely intriguing. Uh, I don't want to sound dumb here but where is the message?

shotgun should sort your problem out..also double the barrel = double the fun...

Yes, maybe I should go out, into the street, with a shotgun, and start firing into the trees... Then I'll get put into a cell where they won't be able to get to me. Also i am not paranoid, if you've read my previous posts you'll know that I'm a pretty genuine guy when it comes down to it. Not that I'm telling you to read them, just saying. Thanks!

reply to post by Ramadwarf Philes


can you get a camera and film some of these threatening squirrels....so i know what to watch out for.

reply to post by pieman


Havent you heard.

ATS Media is the most complicated form of uploading videos and pictures that there is on the net (jk). Seems to be for some these days.

Im guessing the squirrels move too fast didnt you see the post above with those jedi squirrels?

I'll see what I can do for ya, might take a while though. We'll see what happens. I WILL do my best to make this problem known!

Ramadwarf on publicity

we had this problem to (well a similar one...lol) until some owls moved into the neighborhood. a few hardly squirrel souls survived, and now i just find random squirrel skulls and tails here and there in the gardens and woods.

reply to post by XXXN3O


That's great! I was just thinking of Monty Python.

While this thread is very funny, it's a weird coincidence, as I was just watching three squirrels chase each other and make little noises attacking each other in the tree outside my porch. I usually don't hear them make noise, but these things were really screeching.

reply to post by ~Lucidity


Squirrel skulls? Have you kept any of them? If it were me I'd be picking them up and storing them. I'm not wierd, I just think that nature is fascinating.
What's happened to the rest of their bones anyway? This might be a thread of its own. Well, it is but that's not what I mean. Oh I wish I could find some Squirrel skulls aroud here. And tails, I forgot to mention them. Are you sure that they're tails?

Ramadwarf on mystery decapitations

[edit on 2-7-2009 by Ramadwarf Philes]

I am very sorry to hear about your problem but it has finally given me a reason to post a reply to a thread. Something that I haven't done lately.

A lot of the topics lately have been so biased and bashing that I get upset and go off to wander around in Second Life for awhile until I calm down.

And I really needed a laugh. We all need to laugh and several of the replies here have been excellent; the Monty Python skit has always been a favorite. When things would go south at work a few of my mates and I would start shouting "run away, run away" to the amazement of others in the area that didn't have a clue. We would all have a good laugh and then go about fixing our problem.

I try to live by the following credo: Humility, Honesty, HUMOR, Hope, Health, and Happiness. Humor is a gift that should be cherished for a balanced life.

Originally posted by XXXN3O
reply to post by pieman

 

Havent you heard.

ATS Media is the most complicated form of uploading videos and pictures that there is on the net (jk). Seems to be for some these days.

Im guessing the squirrels move too fast didnt you see the post above with those jedi squirrels?

Haha wouldn't it be funny if we got some extremely zoomed in and shaky footage of these squirrels from the OP ? .. - then some people commenting on the thread that it was a hoax... ah.. well imagination is still one of my best friends

Seriously though Rama, you got to get us some sneaky secret surveillance photos of these little sith squirrel scumbags. At least if they delete you we will have some sort of footage to give to the pigs *cough* I mean police!


----edit as I ballsed up the quote tag... ^^

[edit on 7/2/09 by mortalengine]