Anti-depressants... your own experiences...

My strange little trip started after an emotional explosion at work when a good friend of mine did something that irritated me. I'm generally a calm, laid back guy...who's really hard to anger. The kind of guy that you can hit in the head with a 2x4 and would likely not act on it unless you did it again. Well, I had been depressed for awhile and always kind of withdrawn/shy...and on this given day I literally went after him and wanted to beat him to a bloody pulp.

Realizing that something was obviously not right here... I went to my doctor and described the problems I had been having. I was diagnosed with depression and social anxiety disorder and put on paxil.

It helped a lot within about a week. However, the side effects were pretty dramatic. I certainly didn't have any more emotional outbursts...in fact it was hard at times to show any emotion. Paxil completely prevented me from highs and lows and I began to live a "middle of the road" life. This actually hurt me bad for the 3 or so years I was on it...as I had no ambition to do anything other than vegetate. I also got the sexual side effects...my wife actually appreciated this at first...but after a few months of hour long attempts to "finish", even she had just about had enough of it.

So, at around the 2.5 year mark...I decided I was going to get off this crap. This was honestly one of the hardest things I've EVER done in my life. I began to wean myself off of the medication and as the dosage came down...I started having panic attacks. I never had a panic attack before doing Paxil, I had somewhere in the range of 100 while coming off of it. Some mornings I woke up with my head spinning and I would be in a constant state of panic until I took a pill and it had time to work it's way into me. This eventually subsided and I had to take a "booster" pill every 2-3 days when the dizziness and panic would set in. It gradually lengthened, up to about a range of 1 pill every week or so...then went away.

Now that I'm off the stuff, I have lasting effects. The one that pops up the most is the inability to control emotions. I was never like this before, but now I tear up during emotional scenes in movies...and often just in situations in life. Just the other day, while watching my son and daughter play, I broke into tears and just couldn't control it. As I said, this NEVER happened before Paxil.

The long and short of it. I wouldn't recommend Paxil to anybody. There are lasting side effects...and really the effects can be duplicated for all except the severely depressed with exercise.

[edit on 9-3-2007 by BlueTriangle]

At one point I was taking 40 mg of paxil a day. Considering at the time I only weighed 120 pounds its was a very high mg to weight ratio. Anyways, since it was a state facility I was required to do some specific things.

For instance they wanted me to quit drinking because in their opinion the alcohol was the cause of my depression. I knew they were full of # since my first bout of depression began when I was only 13, long before imbibing my first alcohol beverage. It was my self medication to alleviate my depression (along with some smoke, my preferred method of self medication), not the cause of my depression. That coupled with the individuals involved convinced me they knew less than jack #.

Specifically I had to watch some intake video as part of my treatment. Objecting to some of the videos contents I asked my shrink about it. She said "I've never actually watched them." So naturally she couldnt answer the questions or alleviate my concerns.

I determined, as previously stated, they didnt know what the hell they were talking about and decided to quit taking my paxil and go on with my own life without depending on shrinks, or the state. So I quit taking my paxil cold turkey.

Now that was a rather interesting experience. Vivid (psychotic) dreams. Weird body twitches, severe suicidal tendicies and bouts of mounting rage. My poor keyboard at the time became the focal point when I expressed my feelings one night coming off paxil. However the most intense thing I remember (this was nearly 4 years ago) was the electric shocks. Waves of electricity traversed my head from front to back, or from the central portion of my head cavity to the outer layers of my brain. I actually get that sensation to this day once in awhile and know it is entirely attributed to the paxil I use to take. So yeah there are long term repercutions to taking antidepressants.

My experience left me very jaded towards any prescription drugs and towards the field of psychology in general. Theres to much money to be made shilling prozac et all and in treating peoples feelings (manipulating them) to really care about the underlying causes. It's all about the bottom line and not all about the people. Maybe there are some good shrinks and I just had a piss poor one, but knowing human nature, more often than not, they are only interested in the all mighty dollar.

I rarely drink anymore and still suffer with long term low grade depression with bouts of serious depression, when I'm most depressed I'll get some marijuana and smoke out my blues, best cure I've personally ever experienced and # everyone that would condem me for it.

I recently found an interesting (like 2 days ago found) article about what could be the underlying cause of much depression. It is really why I even bothered to write this essay, as I wanted to share it with others in ATS that may suffer from depression.

I have to split the link so it doesnt kill the format (making people scroll every sentence) so cut and paste it.

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov...
Retrieve&dopt=AbstractPlus&list_uids=16542786&query_hl=2&itool=
pubmed_DocSum

Should be one line I cut at the = sign so you know how to reassemble it


Thats my story and I'm sticking to it. Just thought I share.

I suffer from scizoaffective bipolar disorder.

My depression is very pronounced and marked. It lasts for several months at a time, and my doctor has ruled out any chemical reasons for this imblance - and will not perscribe me any additional medications for my depression.

It's rough going but I'm learning how to cope with things on a day to day basis without the use of anti-depressants.

In the past, I was perscribed everything under the sun, and it actually complicated my primary medications. Anti-psychotics can really knock you off your ladder when it comes to daily functioning.

Fortunately - I've run through all the "typical" medications for my imbalance and have finally been perscribed a wonderful little gem of a med that I only need to take when symptoms become overwhelming and begin leading up to an episode.

I feel fortunate I've finally found a doctor I can talk to and who listens to me in regards to my feelings on medication. Since we are both of the opinion that my depression is being enhanced by the fact that I moved from a bustling metropolitan area to a small town in the sticks, he recommended I try alternative measures (walks, community involvement, art therapy, etc...) before perscribing anything.

I've gone over two years without anti-depressants - and while it's rough going some days, I haven't been experiencing any dangerous side effects like I did in previous years. No excessive mania, no dissociative fugues.

All cases are different, but I hope everyone out there is getting the treatment they need to be happy and self fulfilled.

Right now - this iced cola slushie is the highlight of my day.

Its sick that people take anti-depressant pills, its wrong and the only thing you feel is fake, and why would you want to feel fake? *snip*



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[edit on 2007/11/2 by Hellmutt]

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[edit on 2007/11/2 by Hellmutt]

I am curious what people think of Dosulepin?
I have tried several types and found this to be the best so far, as long as you dont drink alot of alcohol.
I was on 75mg and went up to 150mg, i have to say that im alot happier, and side effects are not really a problem.

Id love to hear some advice, experiences, comments on this particular AD.

I think it's highly inappropriate that this thread has turned into "pro-antidepressent vs anti-antidepressant" argument. I also think it's ironic that so many people think they know what they're talking about, but fail to use proper grammar. Grr.

Anyhow, I have clinical depression. I always have, because at a very young age I stopped sleeping, eating, caring. I was put on Prozac. I am still on Prozac. I have had no problems that cannot be adjusted with a dosage change.

Antidepressants are not for everyone, and there is a risk of developing suicidal tendencies. This is RARE. The only other time it would happen is if you did not have a chronic chemical imbalance to deal with.

Some people like to think they have a disease and go for the meds rather than therapy for attention or other reasons, but since they do not really need it, and are suffering from just a low-point in life, the meds mess them up more.

Also, everybody is different. If your doctor is actually worthwhile, they will work very hard to find you the right medication. And the medication you take at one time may, later on, become ineffective or cause a reaction.

People, don't say that antidepressants are worthless. They might be to you, but they've helped me live a normal life due to a real medical problem, and they have also helped many people that I know. You might swear that therapy works just as well, but see, for me therapy is a complete joke.

You can't generalize about this stuff. It doesn't work.

It also makes me really angry that so many of you are grown adults with children and careers and cannot spell or punctuate or capitalize correctly.

[edit on 11/2/2007 by ravenshadow13]

Prozac saved my life !

My depression started back in the early 90's. I started having problems sleeping, eating and just doing the everyday things of life.
I went to the my doctor and explained my feelings and he said you are suffering from depression. But, he told me to deal with it. He didn't believe in giving people anti-depressants. Well, with no help from my doctor I went into a spiral spin into hell.

I started having panic attacks, night terrors , became anorexic and eventually suicidal thoughts. I couldn't function in everyday life. I couldn't clean my house, shower, eat and do anything but lay in bed and cry my life away. My parents lived 800 miles away so I felt alone.

I wrote my mom a letter one day and told her that I needed help. I was scared I was going to die. But I got another dr and he put me on amytripoline and that didn't do anything but dry my mouth severely. I tried paxil but the side effects on that one was my throat felt like it was swelling shut. That scared the crap out of me.

Lot of crap, time went on. Found another dr and they finally put me on prozac. This drug saved me from suicide. It completely changed me like night and day. I came out of that deeply disturbing state of mind and actually cried for joy. I thought that feeling of gloom would be forever.

But after some years jobs changed and I had no insurance. I was on 3 prozac a day. I was diagnosed with major depression, and ocd.
OCD is horrible. But the prozac without insurance was 185.00 for one month supply. So I had to quit them. Oh god. bad mistake. I took a nose dive into hell again. My doctor put me into a behavioral center. Not good.

People would tell me to snap out of it. Does people think that a person actually wants to go through this and If it was as simple as snapping out of it I would have done it. Its not that simple people. But I have found that most people that has never experienced severe depression has no clue as to what a person goes thru. Everyone is different so meds are different for each one.
I had tried different times to come off my meds myself. But the results was devastating. My doctor said that I would be on them for the rest of my life.
Psychiatrist's are a waste of time. Thats my opinion. They did not help me period. And I've been to many.
As far as the OCD problem, my main problem is I count everything.
I count the tile of a floor, how many steps it takes to get from point A to point B. I count my silverware when Im washing dishes to see how many I can wash in a minute. Silly stuff like that. It drives me nuts. I can't stop doing this. Depression is Hell. But I think alot has to do with your situation, stress, abuse and the list can go on. Well, Thats my story and Im sticking to it..

I am curious as to why everyone seems to think that counseling a clinically depressed person would be in any way helpful.

I developed my CD over time as a teenager by suppressing my emotions and, rarely speaking, and not interacting with people outside of my small circle. This was brought on by my mother marrying a psychotic maniac who had serious control issues.. anyway..

It was as though I unconsciously changed my brain chemistry to make it easier to cope.

When I get hit by CD, I just stop. I have no opinions, no interest in my previous activities, no movement off the couch (I usually have a lot of activities outside the house) and I sleep a lot. I'm not sad, not down, not crying, not killing myself, and no anxiety disorders. I might as well be a doll on the shelf. I'd probably be a great poker player if so inclined.

Back to my point, I can't imagine what counseling could possibly do to make me function normally. I know my childhood sucked. No need to belabor the point.

I was previously on Prozac about 10 years ago but it stopped working. No ill effects, it was just no longer effective. Stopped all Anti-deps for about 4 years but things just ground to a halt again. So the doc put me on Wellbutrin and I've never felt better. Even Prozac wasn't this good.

As I understand it, Wellbutrin is not an SSRI but a dopamine-reuptake inhibitor. In short, it doesn't stimulate serotonin, but blocks dopamine which balances seratonin. It also does something with norepinephrine. If I'm incorrect, please let me know..

Anyway, no amount of anyone harping at me is going to make the problem go away..

Just my 2 cents...

I have had some experience with Lexapro.

I've dealt with depression on and off since my teens (I'm 41 now), anxiety and OCD (not ridiculously bad OCD but enough to be annoying).

Between all that and dealing with my younger brother's suicide and some other things, I found myself talking with a therapist who diagnosed me with PTSD and depression / anxiety. I've always been VERY much against taking drugs of any sort; I'm sensitive to freakin caffeine,let alone any other drugs.

Well last year I took my Dr's advice and started on a small dose of Lexapro. They say it takes weeks to kick in,but honestly, I felt a difference in three hours. I was out on a walk and I swear the leaves on the trees got greener before my eyes. I was like, ho-lee-#. While my head felt better, I gained a bunch of weight, which got me down (I've always been super active and healthy) BUT I didn't get TOO TOO down, thanks to the Lex lol.

Other negative things I experienced: crazy bad leg cramping and bad headaches. Otherwise,my head felt great.

I went off it cold turkey and experienced really bad headaches for a while but they subsided. I have been in a VERY low spot for a few weeks now and just can't dig out. I am considering going back on Lexapro....we shall see....i'm thinking that because it works so quickly for me, i may be able to take it on an "as-needed" basis, like only on bad days. I'm just not sure...