Sick and tired of being the type of female men ignore

reply to post by apaulo


Howdy!

I'm slowly but surely getting to it friend, it's been an eventful past few weeks.

reply to post by orangetom1999


Hi,

I appreciate your constructive criticism and comments. Just a few things that may hopefully answer your questions and let you know more about me and where I am coming from with my rant here. First of all, I DON'T look upon my husband as "the source of new handbags" and material crap. I actually contribute to the family finances, if that makes any difference in things. Yes, I have an immature 19 y/o sister who probably fills the bill to your assumptions of me in my hour of "need" to a tee 24/7, all year long. She has more drama than Dynasty...anyway, moving on to your other queries and comments. As you stated, love should have no conditions, yet strangely, you seem to add conditions of your own. Perhaps yours are more valid, assuming anyone here assigned conditions to love.

I made a vow to my husband to love him. I have been up with him all night when his back was killing him, massaging him with oil and kneading his muscles. I have been up with him all night when he first injured himself, to ensure he made it to the toilet without complication if he needed to go, and just to generally soothe him if he was wake. I thought that was part of unconditional love...sacrifice. And yes, those nights I stayed up comforting my husband were days and nights where I had to either be at 0630 PT formation, or at a civilian nine to five. Sacrifice, and unconditional devotion to duty also goes hand and hand with Military committment, as you too, should well know, sir.

It's rare and refreshing to hear a man say he enjoys the female form "as is". No conditions and almost unattainable airbrushed standards to live up to placed upon her, as it is refeshing to hear a woman speak likewise of a man these days. I more so enjoy the internal characteristics of people, than the external. I enjoy a beautiful mind, intelligence, complexity of character and depth. I see "sexiness" in almost everyone who carries themselves well...not that I would pursue it , but I acknowledge it. I find men whom most women turn their noses up at, sexy beyond belief. Almost everyone criticized my choice in a mate when I began dating my husband. I defended him vehemently, and like a rabid pit. I loved him, unconditionally, and I saw beauty and wonder in him, not just his face but his being, and that was...and still is, all that matters to me.

I believe I generally understand my husband by now, but it just seems that he doesn't often "get" me. Despite all of my rant here, lol, I still love him of course, and still would do anything in this world for him. This rant of mine was just a "bad hair day" of sorts, which is why it's in the rant section. I emote. It's who I am, and part of my character and being. I rant and rave and have been know to throw the occasional fit or two, but at the end of the day I can still come to terms with myself and ground it in some logic. I will love my husband as I already have, in sickness and health, and will continue in his old age and mine of course. I can't say I truly understand your question to me of if I can "look" into my husband's soul and see what is missing from his life and "fill" that. I'm sensitive, but not psychic. Perhaps, that is also relevant to a man towards a woman, maybe that is why I began this rant in the first place. I don't expect to be fulfilled 24/7 by a mate and have all my fantasies and demands met. I do expect a little appreciation though, from time to time from my man. I don't see that as asking for much, when one is faithful and true, generous and understanding to their mate, my words apply to male and female alike here.

I don't think divorce is anywhere near the solution in my case, lol. But thanks for your comments and thoughts. I really enjoyed reading your post, and I actually pondered it a few days before this reply.

[edit on 15-7-2009 by Seasick]

reply to post by Seasick


Seasick,

I am glad you got the crux of what I was posting but first off let me apologize for a misconception going on here.

The comment about divorce and handbags was not directed to you..but the poster who made such a shallow entitlement comment...I think it was on page 1. My apologies for the confusion.

Also..sorry to hear about the nature of your sisters soul. It is sometimes interesting to me how different the souls of people can be .. and from the same lump of clay.

I dont worry about what others think. I drive this bus here...anyone not approving ..can get off right now.
I have been riding mopeds or scooters to and fro work for many many years now..some 16 miles total distance daily. People have been laughing at me for the same amount of time. I have been laughing myself ..right to the bank. Most of them stopped laughing and started asking questions when the gasoline got to about $4.00 per gallon last year. It is coming back soon enough to this price and higher. They can keep on laughing.
I also own two cars and a truck...but save my gasoline for rainy/inclement
weather or to get about on weekends.

But you see..you dont have to get on the bandwagon or bus with everyone else...you can do fine by your own labors.

With the exception of a good fishing program I also dont watch sports or read sports illustrated or the sports section of the papers. I think this stuff is to stereotypical and textbook I am not interested in this kind of bandwagon. I am not interested in a point spread or worshiping the gods of sports.

Same thing with a woman whose only skill or talent in life is hanging out and advertisingi her fat yams. They are a dime a dozen...and usually high maintenance.

Althought I will give the big screen one thing..I am glad to see that they are showing some women with black hair or brown hair. Blondes are so overdone so as to become boring to me....just like big boobs. But that is just the big screen. This tells you nothing about their personal characteristics...so I dont get my hopes up here or worship the big screen.

I think you get the point.

Oh..by the way...I sense that you are also questioning your man's maintenance costs...at a certain level. Not unreasonable. I do this with women all the time. We have alot of guys at work who are high maintenance themselves. You can tell this by the way they spend alot of their working time with thier cell phones stuck to thier hands text messaging. They are on a high maintenance drug and dont seem to know or care. Tell them to put their phones away and they get bitter..withdrawls..like someone forced off a drug. I've seen this with people hooked on television too. High maintenance.

Most men ..myself included are.. not good at the practice or concept of multitasking what they see around them. They generallly handle one concept at a time and are not interested in juggling new or what someone else thinks is interesting or even necessary. They get input overload.

Most men I know are also not interested in an emotional overload. They dont even think about this and why this is. They are more reactionarys here.
Most men in thier lives and occupations...must stow or dicipline their emotions and dont work in occupations by which they can tailor their jobs or tasks to thier emotions and personalities. This is usually a fingerprint you find among women to the point that they think emotional recognition is an entitlement which should play through unquestioned and unchallanged. It is not. It is artificial...ersatz.
If men cater to thier emotions in like manner as alot of women think themselves entitled, they can easily get hurt or killed..or kill/hurt someone else.
I suppose alot of them express and or release their emotions through sports and the gods of sports but I dont find this satisfactory.

Sports training for alot men in the long run is nothing more than training to run touchdowns for someone who can insert the play. The male then on cue and clue runs for the touchdown. They dont often even think about the nature of what they are doing. They are so trained along this line of thought. Alot of women know this information..though they dont like the sports they appreciate the training. This is an important clue worthwhile for the both of you..not just high maintenance. But you must have a "GOAL" worthy of the both of you..otherwise it is just high maintenance.
It has to do with that DRUG of which I earlier posted.

Hope this helps. Sorry for the confusion about the handbag and divorce. It was not directed to you.

Thanks,
Orangetom