So I joined a "dating" site....

Ya I know how pathetic right? I'm starting to think so. I don't get out much and I work overnights so it's hard to meet people, online seems like the best and easyest way to do that, well at least for me. I've recently seperated from my wife of over 8 years and all of my friends have either moved or left for the military, so besides the dog it's just me litraly,

I want to know what some of you guys thought of dating sites in general, now I'm not talking about myspace or facebook, but actual sites for singles, and if any of you have taken part in them what was the outcome/experience? I'm trying not to get my hopes up here but the lonleynes is starting to creep on in. Thanks in advance for any opinions

I would say take it with a pinch of salt, Don't get to carried away, And if someone seems Perfect they more than likely are not, Enjoy it but take it lightly.. If you meet someone be truthful from the get go and dont have to many expectations,

Hopefully then it will all go well for you. Good luck!!

[edit on 13-6-2009 by asala]

[edit on 13-6-2009 by asala]

reply to post by asala


Thanks asala, I'm already experiencing the letdowns there that I knew were coming, but like you said with a grain of salt.

I meant to say if they seem to good to be true then they pprob are to good to be true,

Hang in there ok, Maybe go out and try some speed dating?

I don't think there's anything "pathetic" about dating sites.

As humans, we are problem solvers. Stands to reason we'd create an organized method of dating vs. the crapshoot of the past. Luckily, the crapshoot paid off for me (I'm happily married, and to a friend who became my wife)...but these days, it's difficult to meet people with a busy schedule.

Now, I'm sure you'll get some disappointments, but hey, the least that can happen is you come away with some learning experiences, whereas the best that can happen is that you meet the "one"...so good for you, and best of luck.

No, its not pathetic, theres nothing wrong with it....

I also think that 'speed dating' is also a good option as Mod suggested, as it is 'face to face'.... I dont care what anyone says -- I dont think you can ever really get the gist of someone unless you meet them face to face...

I met somebody on a dating site, and wasnt going to meet up with them as I chickened out at the last minute....However, -- I ended up going and it was 'instant' attraction!! -- the fact that it didnt work out had nothing to do with how we met, it was just circumstance...

so, date away my friend, and I wish you luck...

However.... you must drop by and update us on your dates....

Date Update type of thing... lol

Rule #1 for picking up women and getting dates.....
Log off of ATS and turn off the computer.

#2....take a shower and put on clean clothes.

#3...go somewhere like Starbucks or a bar where women are known to hang out.

#4...talk to a woman that is obviously doing the same thing you are. Their body language makes is obvious.

It's very simple, free, fun and even if it doesn't lead to sex, romance, a lover, etc.
chances are you will make a friend. In this life we can't have to many friends.


I don't think dating sites are pathetic. Moderately lame perhaps and unnecessary.

My strategy for meeting women is to go to open mic nights in a local bar,
play my guitar and sing a love song specifically, to a women in the audience. Look at her and smile, after the song go and buy her a drink. Women absolutly love this kind of attention, especially if they are at a table with their girlfriends. I should be ashamed. This tactic is majic!

Actually I don't do this anymore. I think I'm in luuuvv!!!





[edit on 14-6-2009 by whaaa]

reply to post by whaaa


Great tactic, but I work overnights and I have to sleep during the day so it sucks as far as going out goes, mon and tues off who the heck is out on mon and tues nights.

I hope everything works out mate . Just becareful

I dont care what anyone says -- I dont think you can ever really get the gist of someone unless you meet them face to face...

I'll agree there. While the internet could be a valuable tool for initial contact, you won't really know anything until you meet and talk in person, as people communicate much differently in person than they do online (as a general rule)....

If you've got a dog then you might find he's a real asset if you want to meet people. As you're working nights you could make time to take the dog to the park during the day. Now it's nice and sunny there will probably be lots of girls about sunbathing.

My dog likes to play fetch and we used to get loads of attention, people loved him.

As to dating online - well, my ex-housemate did that. I used to worry about the type of guy he'd pick up. I shouldn't have - the bloke he found wasn't the problem, my h/m was. A fine example of the sort of person you'd hope to avoid Really, be careful.

reply to post by berenike


Dogs are wonderful things to meet women with. Owning a dog shows women that at least you can take care of and nourish something, and perhaps even be capable of showing some affection.

I met one of my wives because of a dog I owned. I don't have either one now. I sure miss that dog.

My story on this thread - the last one on page 3 illustrates what an asset a dog can be if you want to pick up girls:

www.belowtopsecret.com...

So alright now it's two "dating" sites and I have had several letdowns already, I've had great chat conversations and even found some (at least by profile) that I would be interested in. Here's a problem I had recently. I gat a "match" request from this female so I go and check out her profile and WOW beautiful as I've ever seen, interested in some of the same things and all of that. So we sent eachother a bunch of messages and she said that she was interested in me.

So I get excited and offer my E-mail addy to her, she accepts....cool so about 10 minutes latter I get an I.M and proceed to just gush over this woman and get it in return, the conversation was great and greater then great, and lasted for hours. Come to find out it was not [her] that I was chatting it up with and she had been "waiting" back on the site for me to reply to her messages,So the woman I thought I was talking to lives in Maine and wants to "escape" and thinks my area would suit her well( positive)

So during the chat I mention lobster(Maine) and this other woman was like what?? Maine?? and I say ya, like we talked about in our other messages, she says we didn't talk about no friggin lobsters..... Uh oh (foot goes in mouth) so long of the short the one I am interested is upset because I kept her waiting and the other is upset because I thought she was sombody else( I told both out of honesty) so neither have messaged me since and it's been almost 3 days now so I think I can sount both out.

Yes I do have a dog but we rarley go to the dog park because of my schedule but I'll take him as soon as I can of course not as a pick up tool but for his sake. So that's where I'm at with this as of yet so I'll possibly report back.

I did "meet" a woman and we talk on the phone but strictly as friends as she is married and legally I am too.

Enjoy it, have fun, but dont rush into anything. Beware that people will talk a good game but not always be the person you are expecting in the long run.

I know a lot of people who have met long term partners on the net. Get out there and enjoy my friend!

i have met a few girls on the net. actually waiting for one to come over my house as i type this. if you have not already you should join plentyoffish. it's a free dating website.

Originally posted by alyosha1981
So alright now it's two "dating" sites and I have had several letdowns already, I've had great chat conversations and even found some (at least by profile) that I would be interested in. Here's a problem I had recently. I gat a "match" request from this female so I go and check out her profile and WOW

beautiful as I've ever seen, interested in some of the same things and all of that. So we sent eachother a bunch of messages and she said that she was interested in me.

So I get excited and offer my E-mail addy to her, she accepts....cool so about 10 minutes latter I get an I.M and proceed to just gush over this woman and get it in return, the conversation was great and greater then great, and lasted for hours. Come to find out it was not [her] that I was chatting it up with and she had been "waiting" back on the site for me to reply to her messages,So the woman I thought I was talking to lives in Maine and wants to "escape" and thinks my area would suit her well( positive)

So during the chat I mention lobster(Maine) and this other woman was like what?? Maine?? and I say ya, like we talked about in our other messages, she says we didn't talk about no friggin lobsters..... Uh oh (foot goes in mouth) so long of the short the one I am interested is upset because I kept her waiting and the other is upset because I thought she was sombody else( I told both out of honesty) so neither have messaged me since and it's been almost 3 days now so I think I can sount both out.

Yes I do have a dog but we rarley go to the dog park because of my schedule but I'll take him as soon as I can of course not as a pick up tool but for his sake. So that's where I'm at with this as of yet so I'll possibly report back.

I did "meet" a woman and we talk on the phone but strictly as friends as she is married and legally I am too.

Can you post us your profile, ?? perhaps I can spruce it up for you a bit... these things are very important to woman readers, ... of course a nice photo is always a plus, but a good written profile is something that goes a long way, and surprisingly its also something that not many people are very good at! -- its called 'selling yourself' without looking like you are actually selling yourself...

What is your opening line....??

Opening lines are also very very important... I cant believe some of the ones Ive read:

Ok, here goes, hope this works...
(translation... I am a loser)

Hope I can find somebody on here
(translation, -- nobody wants me)

Can you mend my broken wings?
(translation -- Ive been hurt, and will probably do your head in!)

do you get the general idea...

You can u2 it to me if you are shy, and I will be happy to re-write you a new one should your one be wanting....

and dont worry about those other women....there are heaps more out there , and we will have you dating in no time...


However, when you say you are legally married.... that doesnt mean you are actually still with your wife does it,

... lf the answer is yes, then sorry, :shk: don wanna get involved...

Originally posted by Gazrok


I'll agree there. While the internet could be a valuable tool for initial contact, you won't really know anything until you meet and talk in person, as people communicate much differently in person than they do online (as a general rule)....

so true, you know, its such a strange thing, but I have met people in person and been so disappointed after receiving such amazing emails from them, -- it was almost like they were 'two' people, hmm

I joined a dating site and actually dated someone from it for over six months and we are still friends. I did get some crazies but the one I dated was great. It was a mutual thing and we got along great. We were very compatible and when we met it was like meeting the male version of me. We had so much fun together. Even now he knows about my current relationship and helps me out with advice at times and vice versa...I know this isnt typical but dating sites arent that bad. I can U2U you the site.