Short Jokes..., page 1

Sh o r t J o k e s

- I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.

- Did you hear about the blonde guy whose wife gave birth to twins?
He wanted to know who the other man was.

- Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

- How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb. Answer: Two. One to change it, and another one to change it back again.

- Why was the Egyptian boy worried?
Because his daddy was a mummy.

- Why does a man have a clear conscience?
It is unused.

- Whats the difference between a teacher and a train conductor?
One minds trains and the other trains minds.

- Did you hear about the Norwegian who liked his wife so much, he considered telling her.

- Everyone has a photographic memory. Some do not have film.

- Why is it when a door is open it is ajar, but when a jar is open it is not a door.

- Ever heard of an out-of-body experience...., well I am having an out of money experience.

- Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring?
He decided to stick it out for one more year.

- If your father could see you now, said the mother turkey to her wayward son, hed turn over in his gravy.

- What do you call a basement filled with blondes?
A whine cellar.

- Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg in a car wreck?
Hes all right now.
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost. Answer: Bamboo.

- What do you get from a pampered cow. Answer: Spoiled milk.

- How do you keep a blonde in suspense? Ill tell you tomorrow.

- What happened to the blonde tap dancer? She slipped off and fell down the drain.

- What did the lightbulb say to the switch? You turn me on.

- What does a three legged chicken taste like? No one knows, it runs to fast.

- Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

- Did you hear about the woman who finally figured men out?
She died laughing before she could tell anybody.

[Edited on 30-4-2004 by vaswegpg]