reply to post by difsjf
I'd like to say that I don't wish something would happen. I sometimes find myself longing for it to all end so that the rebuilding can begin, so
that we might at least start envisioning the light at the end of the tunnel, rather then all the darkness that is ahead.
At the same time I am scared. I try to continue life as normal. I look at vacation spots for later in the year and plan to book a hotel, but then I
think - "what if there is no 'later in the year' for this? What if there is no time for a vacation." And then... well then I don't even
bother.
I have prepared for the past couple of months now, but I know I should have started sooner. Funds run low now and I keep feeling that I am still ill
prepared. I think to myself "you can charge in on the credit card" but then I think "but what if nothing happens, and you can't afford the credit
card?" So instead of that I spend my spare change on silver and gold.
Life for me right now has two sides, two perspectives. I want things to change, I want something to happen... I'm tired of waiting and looking over
my shoulder. At the same time I wish it could just fix itself, and life could go on calm and cozy.
I guess the only thing I can do is thank the extra time, for it is with it that I have at least been able to persuade my mother that something is
wrong and while she is still hopeful that nothing will happen and everything will fix itself, at least she will have it in her mind and be possibley
mentally prepared when it comes.
I wish I could say the same about the rest of my friends, my family, and my coworkers. I wish they would just TRY to understand. Having those I care
about by my side would help me to cope with this. Besides ATS, I'm on my own.
We've been given the time for a reason so all I can say is use it to your advantage. Personally, I've created a sort of "Bucket List" of things I
want to accomplish before the SHTF completely. Foods I want to try one more time, activities I want to partake in, sights I want to see. It will do
you good emotionally if you learn to leave things you enjoy on a good, memorable note.
Peace be with all my friends.