Your Alternative Television Shows

Hi gang, here’s the premise. Do you have any funny ideas for television shows
based on actual shows either current or classic. Here’s a few examples:

“Why I left Your Mother” (“How I Met Your Mother”)

“Joey Loves Chachi” ( “Joey” plus “Joanie Loves Chachi”, the “Brokeback” sitcom)

“Crappy Days” (“Happy Days” spinoff, Fonzie encounters traveler's diarrhea.)

“XX-Files” (“X-Files” spinoff, Scully gets a promotion.)

“Squeal or No Squeal” (“Deal or No Deal” and somebody sneezes on Howie)

“American Idle” (“Sit down dawg, you’re wearin’ us out!”)

“Ozzy and Harriet” (“The Adventures Of Ozzie And Harriet”, Harriet boards the “Crazy Train”)

You get the idea, now what have you got?

What am I, a mirage? I thought this was right in the wheelhouse for some of the folks here. My bad.

I had an idea for a spoof on 'Footballers' Wives'. I never watched it, but saw several trailers.

My idea was 'Dart Players' Wives'. They were going to have names like Shandy instead of Chardonnay and were going to be as unglamorous as the Footballers' Wives were glamorous.

To my horror, shortly after I thought of it I saw an actual programme listed as Dart Players' Wives. I think it was a documentary but I was too miffed to watch it

reply to post by berenike


That's funny and eerie! What are the odds? Talk about a conspiracy thread. It's not like ideas have not been stolen before but of course you had not pitched your idea to a television network.

Anyways, thanks for that berenike. We get many classics from the BBC in the US on our Public Broadcasting stations as you might know but rarely the "kind of now, kind of wow" programs. Here's a link to the Footballers' Wives website for those who'd like to find out a little more on this show. I hear that despite the glamour and glitz it can't hold a candle to "Dart Players' Wives".

Welcome to the world of Footballers' Wives, where everybody plays dirty...


Dirty? I'll say, with Joan Collins in the cast!

[edit on 26-5-2009 by Hemisphere]

reply to post by Hemisphere


You need to stop this at once! You are going to give the television executives ideas.


I would have a version of Brothers and Sisters where one sister finds out she is not related and starts to have an affair with her brother. Wait a minute, the show already went there.

Originally posted by kidflash2008
reply to post by Hemisphere

 

I would have a version of Brothers and Sisters where one sister finds out she is not related and starts to have an affair with her brother. Wait a minute, the show already went there.

But Kid, did the brother know it was not his sister? Wowser!
Reminds of part of a standup routine by Bill Hicks where a guy
says to him "I would like to introduce you to my wife and sister."
And the punchline was there was only one woman there.

I don't know KF, maybe "Brothers and Sisters and Wives and Lovers".
We never saw any of that in the old days. We never had Bud and Betty
rolling around on "Father Knows Best". And heaven forbid Chip and Ernie
on "My Three Sons". Now they show all of that and a goat thrown in on one
episode of "Survivor".

Oh for the golden days of television broadcasting when men were men and attracted to unrelated women and Uncle Miltie dressed like one.

reply to post by Hemisphere


I just put that plot point there to show that TV executives will do anything for ratings. Your suggestions may sound silly to some, but the actual truth is some of the worst ideas have been brought to life already.

My Mother the Car and David Cassidy: Man Undercover along with SuperTrain should give you an idea of how low they go.

reply to post by kidflash2008


You do have a point there Kidflash. And those three (I'm guessing on the David Cassidy: Man Undercover. Just my luck, I missed that one.) were certainly more sad than funny. Who'd a thunk that there would have been a program starring Jerry Van Dyke and Ann Sothern and of the two you only saw Jerry Van Dyke? I went and looked up My Mother The Car (I'm sure there's a serious thread of that nature somewhere on ATS) and as it turned out Ann Sothern had a medical problem that left her bloated along with a back injury. And so doing the voice was a good fit for her career at that time. But as we know the show was a stinker.

Here's a stinker Kid. Did you ever see this one?

"It's About Time" - Two astronauts break the time barrier and travel back to prehistory. With Imogene Coca as a cavewoman.

That's nothing compared to my next pitch. How about blending a family oriented quizz show with mixed martial arts? Both big genres, how can it miss?

"Are You Tougher Than a 5th Grader?"

What do you think? I would throw all kinds of money at Jesse Ventura to host this one. He could tag-team with the 5th grader against the contestant. This has got more low blow potential than the piñata clips on "America's Funniest Home Videos".:bash:

reply to post by Hemisphere


I never saw the show with Imogene Coca as a cavewoman. David Cassidy: Man Undercover was a cop show by NBC released when they were in the ratings basement back in the mid 1970s (NBC managed to crawl out of that one, so there is still hope they can crawl out of this one).

How about Battle of the Reality Stars? Have all the reality TV stars get rounded up. Pair them off and have them fight to the death. The last one who is alive wins, along with the American public when these leeches lose there 15 minutes of fame.

reply to post by kidflash2008


I like "Battle of the Reality Stars". You've gotta have "The Donald" in there. Trump vs. the retarded Baldwin. Pick a Baldwin, any Baldwin.

I know, I'm terrible. Although trashing television has to be a little healthier than reading the news right now. And so what's the next show? Here's one "Wheel of Misfortune".

Or how about putting a couple of PBS stalwarts on the same show. How about artists William Alexander and Bob Ross. There you go, that's programming excellence.

Bob: "I think a happy little squirrel lives right over here by this tree near the babbling brook...."

Bill: Und now I takes mine mighty fan brush und paints a majestic condor in das sky to hunt for der happy little squirrels..."

Hehe... "it's your world...so paint whatever you think lives there..."

reply to post by Gazrok


Gazrok, a Ross afficianado! I can remember being home sick and there was nothing more soothing to snooze to than Bob Ross. Heck, even if you weren't sick you could snooze to him. Good times, good times.

Gaz, I think you'll get a kick out of this. I had no idea until I "Googled" Ross. This is from his Wikipedia entry:

Having held military positions that required him to be, in his own words, "mean" and "tough," "the guy who makes you scrub the latrine, the guy who makes you make your bed, the guy who screams at you for being late to work," Ross decided that if he ever moved on from the military, "it wasn't going to be that way any more," and "vowing never to scream again." Ross discovered after beginning his sideline in painting that he was soon able to earn more from selling his work than from his Air Force position. After leaving the Air Force, he studied with William Alexander before becoming famous worldwide with his own television program.

So, the soft spoken Ross we enjoyed on the tube was a reaction to his former military persona. And... after I linked him with Alexander in my fantasy programming it turns out he was a student of Alexander. Small world but as Ross would say "It's your world". Apparently a nice man, a shame he died so young.

How about the Bill Moyers/Robert McNeil Comedy Variety Hour? Start with the men singing a duet and have John McLaughlin join in.

As for the reality show, all second rate celebrities and also reality show stars such as Susan and other winners. American Idol is included. The fight will be to the death, with no survivors as the winner will face off with lions.

The Naked Congress (a fairy tale based on "The Emperor's New Clothes").

"Nancy": A sitcom about a wacky Speaker of the House and the crazy people she works with. Rep Boehner will play the up tight person who hates it because no one can pronounce his last name correctly. On FOX.

Jimmy Fallon will get the 8pm weekday slot, as NBC asks the question "Why is this guy on TV?"

I can get mean also!

reply to post by kidflash2008


Holy crap Kid! you had me laughing at my desk just as my boss started talking to me over the intercom. No, I never open ATS at work. Not me. Alright, it's a slow day and I'm caught up. Where were we?

Oh yeah! Those are great. When they come to the end of the first season of "Why is this guy on TV?", the answer will be he shouldn't and they drag him kicking and screaming onto "Battle of the Reality Stars". They get the nice crossover promotion out of that.

"Bill Moyers/Robert McNeil Comedy Variety Hour?" That's gonna look a lot like Statler & Waldorf from the Muppets. Boy if you can write them a musical number where McLaughlin can chime in with "Wrong!", that would be television gold. Maybe Eleanor Clift in a go-go cage? Alright, you don't want people getting sick.

"The Naked Congress" That's gotta be on PPV, sounds obscene. They're obscene clothed! Imagine the dirty little description on one of those PPV channels. "The Naked Congress" Men, women and interns taking turns. And you thought you were the only one getting screwed

"Nancy": That's too funny. I immediately thought of "Rhoda" and Valerie Harper making whacky demands of the network that eventually helped cancel the show.

"Boehner"

Beavis: He said his name is "Boner"!

Butthead: Huhuhuhu. Yeah like "Boner"! That's funny Beavis.

Uptight Guy: No, no, no! I said Boehner!

Beavis: That's right, "Boner"!


Thanks I needed that Kidflash!

"Boner"!

I watched SCTV when it was on the air, and they had many inspiring parodies:

Battle of the PBS Stars (John Candy played Julia Child in a boxing match with Fred Rogers.)

Divine as Peter Pan (Again, Mr Candy played the transvestite wearing the Peter Pan outfit. The funniest bit was the four people offstage trying to make Divine fly.)

Here are more of my ideas:

Barney! a spin-off of Nancy, in which the Representative from MA is always getting into trouble. At the end of each episode, there is a lesson learned. The Chippendales Dancers play regulars.

Arlen's Idiocy: a sitcom with Sen Specter playing a double agent, who doesn't remember which side he is supposed to be on. Tonight's wacky episode has him inviting both the Democrat and Republican over for dinner.

My Name is Michael: NBC hires Michael Phelps to play the lead in the show. The talentless boy is shown wearing Speedos in each episode to try and hide the fact he cannot act. It will be followed by Conan, as NBC will eventually have an all talk show network.

For a sports idea, NBC combines golf and wrestling as both those sports ratings are up. A bunch of huge wrestlers will chase a group of old white men and score points by doing moves such as the Jackhammer on them.

reply to post by kidflash2008


Loved the SCTV Kid. I saw a special on it, years later, sort of a reunion type of thing. It was amazing how they put that together on a shoestring. They were always a hairsbreadth from being off the air in real life.

Hey, your Arlen Specter show could borrow from "Patty Duke". There could be some hi-jinks there as you never know which one is running.

Barney! There's a gem. And please every week there's got to be a catch phrase he can't get out like "sufferin' sucatash"!

And speakin' of the 4th Doctor, how about a much more reluctant incarnation, along the lines of a "Doctor Why?" or "Doctor What?"

How about a Food Network news hour? I'm thinking "Eat the Press". They could get that Travel Channel guy Andrew Zimmern, he eats all kinds of crap. "Mmmmm, a little gamey but not all that bad this Charles Gibson. Next week be sure to tune in we're having Kosher oriental when our guests will be Maury Povich and wife Connie Chung."

The Good (Sully Sullenberger) The Bad (Dick Cheney) and the Ugly (Linda Tripp as played by John Goodman) star in this update of the classic Western. (I was going to say Susan Boyle for the ugly, but that is too mean.)

Everybody Loves Sarah: A sitcom/variety hour in which Gov Sarah Palin sings, dances and stars many skits with Mike Huckabee and other Republicans. You Betcha! is the name of the dance troop with Joe Sixpack leading the band. The pilot has the singing Senators with John Ashcroft.

Barack Obama stars in a remake of Baywatch and David Hasselhoff plays his father. Dan Quayle joins the cast later as Moondoggie.

Torture (Parental Discretion is strongly advised). In this program, al qaeda is forced to watch reality shows and outtakes. The one who lasts the longest wins their freedom. So far, none have made it out alive or with their sanity intact.

reply to post by kidflash2008


I'm assuming John Goodman would grow a little five o'clock shadow for the part of Tripp. He's very versatile though. I remember when he and Roseanne switched roles for an episode. I for one never knew.

I always pictured Sarah Palin in a stars and stripes tap dance number with twirling pasties and a flag in each hand. I can dream can't I? But John Ashcroft ruins that scene for me every time!

I don't know about the Baywatch. Hasselhoff lying face down in the surf and Obama reassuring him that the paramedics are in contact with his government medical plan but they haven't calculated whether he's worth saving yet. All the while Quayle is trying to help him back out to sea. Heart rending. I guess it would work with girls in bikinis running down the beach. What doesn't?

The "Torture" premise is too similar to the nightly news but at least there's a grand prize.

How about a couple revivals?

"Chico and the Man" - a little twist as "W" is forced to rehire Alberto Gonzalez, this time as his defense lawyer.

"The Dukes Of Hazzard" - the boys traded the "General Lee" for a post government takeover GM crap box. The first three episodes find the Dukes brothers explaining to the Onstar operator what's wrong with their car.

And a spin-off of "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire"...

"Who Still Needs a Bailout" - floundering corporate execs compete to escape questioning with the largest golden parachute. Here's a spoiler... they all win!!!

I saw a show a while back that had a spoof called "Dan Quayle's Beach Party" where they had a teenage boy (who looked just like the former VP) playing Dan and having a beach party with his buds. Then his wife came a pulled his ear to get him to come home. I thought about him for the Baywatch remake.

I can't remember the show, but it aired on Nick at Nite and was a parody of critic shows with two TV critics playing the Roger and Gene roles.

[edit on 6/1/2009 by kidflash2008]