I don't like this feeling

My son just left with his friend, a 20 year old soldier, on a road trip to the base where he will finish his training in preparation to go to the middle east.
I have known this boy for years, and he has been to my home many times, and even dated my daughter for awhile.
I worked with him at the same restaurant for a time and he was one of the hardest, dedicated workers on staff.
His first love, football, was shot down as a career for him, despite a full scholarship, when during the championship senior game he broke his leg on the field..not once but twice. After his leg broke, he still tried to get up and get the ball, breaking his leg a second time.
Strong of body, and mind.
I love this kid..he's one of the best friends my family has had.
What I don't like, is the feeling I have, that I just said goodbye to him..for good.
I don't want to think like that at all.He's young, engaged..just starting his life and hoping for a bright future.
I just can't get it out of my head that he is starting it with a gun in his hand.
He is training with every tactical weapon and will be placed in the most volatile destination. Canadians are peacekeepers yes..but still get shot at, wounded, and worse.
I can't understand how those with loved ones in the military do this. How do you say goodbye not knowing for how long or if you will see loved ones again?
When I see him again I want it to be his wedding day..not his funeral.
I have tried to justify in my mind many things about this war..but cannot anymore.
Enough is enough.
Clean up the mess and get out. Now.
Mothers have lost enough children on both sides...and there is no winner, only losers.

reply to post by AccessDenied


Shows your kind nature to be so worried. It could be you are internally fearful of losing your own son same age, rather than a premonition (we all worry about that)
In dream interpretation when we dream of someone dying, it means a new start in life for them. I know you were awake, but hopefully you were just tuning into his old child life 'dying' and his new life as a soldier is someone you wont see or know much. So in a way it is a 'death' of your relationship?

I'll join you in "United Mothers/sisters/wives/girlfriends/daughters for paece and letting our kids grow old and not die for men and money coallition""....rant over and out...

[edit on 16-4-2009 by zazzafrazz]

Hey AD.

Unfortunately, it's a feeling you'll have to get used to. My little brother has been in the military for 16 years. Every time he gets deployed, I get the same feeling. He's been in all the hotspots that Canada has been in during that time. Bosnia,Rwanda, Etrirea, Kosovo, Afghanistan. I get that terrible feeling in my gut every time he calls and says he has to go here or there but he is a good soldier and he has the best training possible so I have to put my faith in that and his ability to survive. Scares the hell out of me though.

Be strong girl and support the young fellows decision. Your support will mean a lot to him.

Oh there's no doubt I support his decision. He makes good money, he loves what he's doing....
I just can't get past the feeling that soldiers are deemed "Expendable".
To me this boys life means so much more than any war on terror and gosh he's not even my own kid, but my kids have lots of friends that call me mom and he's one of them.
I suppose my overprotectiveness is far reaching.
But road side bombs are indiscriminate.

It just shows that you have a heart AD. The worry that you have is completely understandable.

War is inevitable for humanity at this stage of our evolution. We send our young off to fight and die for our beliefs.

Just hope he is trained well, keeps his head down and comes home safe.

Perhaps he won't even see any combat. Maybe the worst he will get is a nice sunburn.

reply to post by AccessDenied


Having been in the military and also knowing many young kids going in, I can empathize with what you are going through. Try to keep positive thoughts in your head, and do not think of the worst that can happen.

When my boys joined the service, I had similar type thoughts that I kept to myself. I was so happy when they returned that I did not want to stop hugging them, and would immediately start crying when I saw them return. Of course, they would start crying and then everyone around us would start crying (except for those who were crying at their own children/spouses returning).

This is something he wants to do, and you should be happy that he will get many excellent benefits (like college tuition) for joining the service.

My thoughts and prayers go out to all of our service men and women.