Telling people they were in your dream

So, when is it ok to tell people they were in your dreams?

I rarely talk about dreaming with others, maybe just enough for my friends to know I am avid about it so they can bring it up with me if they want to, but I don't go around trying to bring up the subject - because it turns most people off. Especially those who don't recall their dreams, if you want to talk about something they can't do, in todays social society you are practically a threat to them, socially!

It's just terribly interesting to me sometimes how a dream character can be portrayed as if your subconcious is giving them a subtle compliment. I've dreamt about a guy I know (but not very well) who took care of everyone in a dangerous situation, a girl (again I don't know very well) that stays off to the side but whenever I look at her she smiles at me, and about a couple I know who in my dream looked like people from the 30s in appearance (insinuating that they have been a couple in past lives/alternate realities however that works). I dreamed that I partied with some people and they handled the fact that it was all a dream rather well, lol.

But If I were to tell them, it would weird them out.

Just wish people talked about their dreams more, wish I could tell people these sorts of compliments and personal experiences (meaning unique, not private/secret) without it being all weird. It's just a dreamers way of doing it it seems, but in today's world, he or she is not allowed to express this in any positive way - because it's just seen as weird and perhaps boring and useless.

There just doesn't seem to be a right way to do this. I think I can come across as self absorbed, but in reality I dream about everyone I know and think about them all the time, have a million things to tell them, and I can't cause it'd just be weird.

But then it sort of seems like I'm hiding it from them if I don't say anything. Argh, I just wish people were more open to dreaming!

Last night I was real tired and sort of went in and out of lucidity during a dream. I got to thinking in the dream, "Man I've gotta go to sleep, I gotta work tomorrow." But then I said to myself, "You are sleeping right now, isn't that amazing that you can be staying up too late here in the dream while you are in reality getting sleep."

I wouldn't have a problem talking about dreams during the day instead of the weather or current events. But turning this into a reality seems quite impossible.

Being socially inept, I don't know if there's a proper way to bring up the subject of telling people that you dreamed about them or not.

I once told a guy (that I had a good work relationship with) that I had dreamed about him. I told him because I wanted to ask if the dream were at all real. It was an inoccuous, non-sexual dream in which I had seen him when he was in college and he was fatter and had a pony tail.

Since we are different age groups and did not go to college at the same time and I had not met him until a year prior to the dream, I was wondering if he had a pony tail in college or if he had lost weight since then.

He was rather offended and promptly told me that he was a happily married man and his wife would not like to find out that some woman was having dreams about him.

I never got to ask him the question I wanted because as soon as I said, "I had a dream last night and you were in it" he jumped in with his statement before I could finish the sentence. I spent the next several minutes trying to apologize and explain that it wasn't "that" kind of a dream but the damage was done.

Moral of the story....keep it to yourself unless you know they are the kind of person who might want to hear about your dreams.

Perfect example there, I guess when it comes to what dreaming is people either get it or they don't. This is exactly why we are forced to keep it to ourselves. People get weirded out and overreact bigtime when it's nothing but a little dream. What you were doing was totally harmless there, and in fact your experiment there would have proven paranormal perception, or supercognition, you know? So you were really doing something important.

I had a dream one time of the place I work, now in the dream, in a corner of the ceiling there were a few ceiling tiles stained brown. Luckily, I was able to test out and see for myself without asking whether they were really brown or not. It turned out that in real life, they were not brown. It is much the same test as what you were trying to do, only I was lucky enough that it did not involve a person that I would face consequences for asking.

What is ironic to me, is that the slightest mention that they were in your dream would weird them out. If the people around me only knew the half of it - The fact that they have been in dozens of my dreams. Some of my closer friends have probably been in hundreds.

Perfect example of "What they don't know won't hurt them." Seriously, people are so close minded.

I have dreamed of every single person I work with.

Would it weird them out if I told one I dreamt of them? So then I tell everyone at work I have dreamt of them, and everyone I come in contact with on a regular basis. Now nobody is special. I wonder, would it still be so weird? Or would they rather be weirded out, because this way they are special. People really have no idea the extent of dreams others have had of them, and they also don't realize that it is not a big deal.

[edit on 3-4-2009 by Novise]

I've often wondered about doing this too. I dream about people i know and have always wanted to tell them.
My theory is that, without even knowing, we sometimes share dreams.
The other night i had a dream about a man i know a little. I really wanted to tell him and thought it would be so cool if he said...wow, i had a dream about YOU on the very same night....lol

Maybe we meet up in dreams but social etiquette keeps us from knowing this because we never share the info.

[edit on 4-4-2009 by Maestitia]

I usually do not talk to many people about my dreams, but occasionally I will talk with my family members about dreams.

I do not usually tell them about dreams in which contain them, unless it is an interesting dream.

I once, for example, had a dream about my mom that was so real! I dreamed I was riding south down highway 75 and I drove past this movie theatere that was on my right. It used to be Lowes theatre, now it is something else. In my dream it was the new theatre ( I cant recall what its name is).

As I looked in that are in my dream, I had a sudden recollection that my my had died in that area one year ago to the day. (She is not dead in real life). I cried in the dream.

When I woke, up, it felt so real! I truly believed for about five minutes that she was dead, untill I finally started coming back to my senses, and even then I had to repeat out loud, (she is alive, she is not dead).

I called her and told her about the dream, mainly because I wanted to hear her voice. I swear, it felt just as if my mom had really died.

I have told my other family members about dreams that contained them as well.

I see nothing wrong with telling people about it, If they say they dont want to know, then do not tell them, but I doubt anyone will say that.

If you want to tell people of the dream you had about them, just go to them and say "Hey I had a dream about you last night, want to hear about it?"

In my experience, it's not a good idea to discuss your dreams with people who were in them due to Freud, etc. Those people::roll eyes::

I've heard of dream journals, I have never used them personally, but it may be a way to get your dreams "out there" without 'offending' anyone.

People have this concept that dreams are all about sexual desires, and they aren't in all cases. Dreams are a link to your subconcious which can deliver images of ALL kinds, IMHO. There is usually more truthfulness in dreams than in concious discussion, but dreams seem to be more cryptic(if that's possible) than 'normal' conversation with other human beings.

I should start a dream journal, but I'm either too lazy or too afraid of what I may find there. Dreams are a link to the "unknown" which is very scary for most folks, if you get my drift.

When I was about 14 the lady next door to us knocked on our front door at about 3:00 a.m. My mother answered the door and our neighbor was very upset saying that she dreamed grandma had a heart attack.

This was high strangeness but to calm her down my mother said she'd check on grandma. When she went into grandma's room she found her on the floor gasping for air. Grandma was having a heart attack.

All turned out well but there are times when it may be necessary to risk ridicule to tell someone your dreams.

"dreams are a link to the uknown which is very scary for most folks"

I see what you mean there. It just makes me want to tell them there is nothing to be afraid of. Not that I know that...

Sure I have my own fears of the unknown but it's not in dreaming.

Very hard for me to understand this sort of fear, when there is real problems out there. Oh well. I agree with you, I know it's there, I know people that have it, and I have my own fears. But I really have a hard time understanding it, the fear of dreams, and relatedly the fact that we may really be spiritual beings (OOBE). That's my trouble, actually understanding it. Especially for the religious, which I am also a bit, what are they afraid that their religion may actually be true? That life is just a blink, and we are part of a larger spiritual picture?

People are afraid of their own shadows, and they don't see how this holds them back. Because once they forget about their shadow they think it's no longer a problem. What they don't realize is that little thing called sub-concious thinking, that effects everything you do and see... So it's a monster you either get over, or you let it sub-conciously kick you around your whole life.

Ohhh dreams... I have had so many dreams about so many people - that I'm sure it would freak them out if I talked about it openly. I would NEVER tell someone I barely knew that I saw them in my dream LOL, but my close friends I have mentioned it on occasion. Some of my friends are convinced they don't dream, and think I'm crazy when I talk about dreams.

I do talk to my father about my dreams - because he is my best friend and he, like me, also dreams quite vividly and has a huge interest in dreams and what they mean and what they are.

Whitewave - that is so embarrassing, and I feel for you girl! I've never had a situation like that, but I once told my friend from work that I dreamed about her, and she got weirded out. I told her that I had dreamt she had a baby... she told me 2 weeks later that her and her husband were talking about getting pregnant - and that is why she was a little freaked out about the timing of my dream.

There are dreams that I keep to myself though, sometimes, you just need to know when to say something, and when to not...


- Carrot

Been thinking about this past few days and I actually had an idea of sorts. I agree it is usually not a good idea to tell somebody they were in your dream unless you want to weird them out. Alternatively though, you could tell them about the dream and tell them what happened without telling them it was them. Just talk about the dream.

Usually when somebody says "I had this dream last night," (and they say it as if it was a bit of a big deal that they had a dream at all) people will be glad to hear what they say and not immediately weirded out. It's only minutes later that the crowd become typically bored by it, dreams are very subjective: subjectively interesting and subjectively funny. Most people do not find other's dreams interesting or funny.

My own dreams, I'd say that by average, .1% are objectively funny, extremely rare. Just saying, don't expect your dreams to be funny or interesting to others, and even those that are.. they are still very hard to tell in a way that others will get it. It's just easier that way, to talk about it without the added expectation of others finding it hilarious or intriguing.

So probably better to tell somebody about the dream without telling them that it was them in the dream. This way at least, you get it into their awareness and also their sub-concious of course. Seems like the closest you can come to telling them in today's world.

I have a different view about this. I think it's a compliment to most people. Now, I don't remember the majority of the dreams I have so I'm not telling people things about dreams all the time, but when a specific person I know is in a dream I usually tell them. Goes something like this: You were in my dream last night. Really? Yeah, [then I tell them some little thing about the dream]. Wow, that's strange. Yeah. Then it's over.

Lol, if it was a sexual dream, it goes like this: You were in a dream of mine last night but I can't remember for the life of me what it was about.

You can always claim that you don't remember dreams because a lot of people don't and it let's the people know that you were thinking of them in a non-threatening way. You don't ever have to spill your guts to them and have the leverage to tell them only what you want them to know about it.

Edit to add: I've never had a situation where the person was insulted or felt strange, weirded out about it. I think I would have known.

Strange it never occurred to me that people would find it insulting or weird.




[edit on 9/4/2009 by Iamonlyhuman]

originally posted by: whitewave
Being socially inept, I don't know if there's a proper way to bring up the subject of telling people that you dreamed about them or not.

I once told a guy (that I had a good work relationship with) that I had dreamed about him. I told him because I wanted to ask if the dream were at all real. It was an inoccuous, non-sexual dream in which I had seen him when he was in college and he was fatter and had a pony tail.

Since we are different age groups and did not go to college at the same time and I had not met him until a year prior to the dream, I was wondering if he had a pony tail in college or if he had lost weight since then.

He was rather offended and promptly told me that he was a happily married man and his wife would not like to find out that some woman was having dreams about him.

I never got to ask him the question I wanted because as soon as I said, "I had a dream last night and you were in it" he jumped in with his statement before I could finish the sentence. I spent the next several minutes trying to apologize and explain that it wasn't "that" kind of a dream but the damage was done.

Moral of the story....keep it to yourself unless you know they are the kind of person who might want to hear about your dreams.

a reply to: whitewave

I tell a woman friend I dream of her. The next day I tell her of another dream from the night before. The forth day I tell her of a third night dream. 😨😨😨😈 I think I weird her!

It's like everything - depends upon who you are talking to. I have lots of subjects I am interested in, but that I know cannot be talked about with anyone. It is such a rush when I meet someone with the same interests!!

I've made the mistake of telling people I dreamed about them, and they immediately think I want to have sex with them (if a guy) or that I have some other weird hangup about them. Often they are symbols of rather mundane qualities in myself, that's all.

But it is rare to meet someone who knows that concept of everything in your dreams being symbols of a part of yourself - therefore able to sort of distance their own self from YOUR dream.

i often tell my friends that I see them in my dreams, i see nothing weird in it