Its been 10 years,am I a virgin again?

I cant beleive it , 10 years .... I have even asked a few gals out for dinner...not happening... it sucks being nice, most women dont like nice guys. I mean I could have had a , lets call it a "Saftey Meeting" a few times , but once you are over 40 I think the love game is over....plus it dont help living in smallville and being scared to touch anyone with all the bugs floating around. May become a monk by default .

reply to post by Grayelf2009


Awwww dude.

Age is a state of mind my friend.
You're never too old to date.

Just be yourself.... have a little confidence and I'm sure one of these ladies will go for a drink with you.

Women do seem to prefer the bad-boys unfortunately...but there is always someone out there for you man... seriously.
And many women do like a nice guy.

It'll happen when you least expect it man

Everyone goes into slumps, yours is just longer than average.

Let me help you out by being totally honest. I used to think I was a 'nice' guy. That's a problem. You see yourself as nice, women see you as boring and low on confidence.

Women love nice guys over the long term. Women just don't usually go out looking for Mr. nice guy. They want to have fun, learn new (interesting) things and have good conversation. Let them find out your nice, you don't have to advertise. Try being more aggressive, maybe even a little abrasive at first, you'll be surprised at the results.

It's never too late for love.

Also make as many friends as possible, male and female. The more friends you have, the more likely you are to meet a friend of a friend.

reply to post by Grayelf2009


We are the same it seems.
I have stayed away for about the same time.
My problem is different tho.I am terrified of dating at this point.
My difference is the opportunity is there but I just can't bring my self to want to.
As far as sex goes,I'll go as long as I absolutely can without,when I can't stand it anymore then I let myself be seduced.
Lack of sex sucks for sure.
I feel your pain bro.
I can't give you much advice so I am sorry for that.

Guys...don't stresss Make the ladies laugh...a wicked sense of humour is usually all that is needed, and don't even think about sex....let them make the first move, as they certainly will. There is nothing sexier than a man who can make you giggle till it hurts, and release all those good feeling endorphin thingies......

I think my biggest problem is location.... hehe And its not the sex I miss ,I want to hold hands and have someone to chase through the yard with silly string. I know something will happen just been a long wait . Good things come too those who wait. It is knida nice over here. ( BTS )

reply to post by Grayelf2009


LOL. I had to chuckle when I read your post. I feel ya brother. Women become invisible after a certain age. That and people are just generally less trusting these days.

It did occur to me though that we could probably put an abrupt end to suicide bombers who think they're going to be rewarded with 72 virgins in the afterlife. Just tell them the virgins are all over 45 years old! LOL.

Oh, and welcome to ATS/BTS.

Hey brother let me help you out here.

First you need to be confident in the fact that there are women out there just like you, lonely and in need of a friend and a lover.

Second you need to forget all turn downs for a date and realize one more no is closer to a yes.

Now with that in mind be charming and funny, but at the same time DO NOT lay all your cards on the table, be a bit of a mystery.

Third women do love bad boys, not mean boys. They want you to be nice and light hearted to them romantic but a savage in bed. Its a tightrope and an attitude. They want to feel a man can make them laugh, protect them, take care of them and give them satisfaction. Dude the world is FULL of 40 + women that have been left and are a ready for YOU.

Know you are what they want and keep plugging until you find the right one. Women are at sexual peak between late 30's through menopause and if you prove yourself in the sack they will stay sexual. Learn to satisfy them in the mind body and soul.

Remember that there will be plenty that you are not there type. There are just as many that you ARE there type. Keep on keepin on and don't be afraid to speak your mind. When the time is right....you will see it in there eyes its a smoldering kind of look, then take it don't even think about asking.

Dont be this or this be this



Edit to add: Its 11 years before you revert to a virgin...you have one more year to go.

[edit on 3-4-2009 by LoneGunMan]

No you are not a virgin but you probably feel like one. I was celibate for 10 years and I felt brand new to relationships and sex.

What I'm about to say will cause some posters to cringe and say no don't do it.

After 10 years of not dating ( by choice) I joined a dating site on the Internet. It was really lots of fun. I finally met my mate. He was nothing like my ex husbands or others I had dated. He was a really nice guy that didn't smoke, drink or do drugs. And he was/is a perfect gentleman.

I had plenty of experience with the bad type of guy and yes it was fun and interesting. But I was tired of all that and wanted a good man to spend my twilight years with.

Don't misunderstand me, this man is a Vietnam veteran and is tough as nails. I don't know any young man that would be dumb enough to challenge him. He's all man and a very nice and moral man.

There are women out there that are looking for your type. But you have to make an effort to find them.

My mates brother is in his late 60's and has at least one new female to date each week. He finds them on a dating site. They are nice looking and are able to take care of themselves financially and have much life to offer a man.

After a failed marriage my daughter found a wonderful man on a dating site and they married 5 years ago and are still very happy.

I used to look for my prince charming in bars when I was younger. But Internet dating is much safer and better. You can even run a background
check on the people you meet.

My best wishes to you and I hope you find what you are looking for.

Originally posted by Grayelf2009
I think my biggest problem is location.... hehe And its not the sex I miss ,I want to hold hands and have someone to chase through the yard with silly string. I know something will happen just been a long wait . Good things come too those who wait. It is knida nice over here. ( BTS )

The only thing that people who wait get, is the ability to wish they acted sooner. People who plan for tomorrow act today.

Technically, your cells renew every 7 years, so I guess on one level you could be said to be a virgin again....

Kind of like riding a bike though...(and the built in knowledge of eons of nature)...

Originally posted by Gazrok

Kind of like riding a bike though...

Just a bit more comfortable? Really hard to fall off though...depends really on what exactly you are doing.

Oh Hon, it's fear of rejection that's driving your celebacy.

Get out there, Once you do it, you'll wandeer, why the hell you waited so long.

I'm tempted to fly to the states and give you a mercy shag!

For Chrissakes, are there any ATSers near Kansas that can help the man out?

"mercy shag"...that's priceless....

She's completely right though... The worst thing that can happen is rejection. If so, big deal, move on, rinse/repeat.... After all, the best thing that happens is you hook up...

Just be safe while you're gettin' your groove on...unless you're looking to be a daddy....(or other conditions)...

Hint: Strip clubs can often be good for a young man's confidence. Sure, you know they're really all over you for the money, but it isn't really your brain that you're trying to trick...now is it? Once the confidence is there, immediately go on the prowl...

reply to post by Grayelf2009


Don't worry Grayelf, you're not alone.

About 10 years for me too, but probably more from choice here. I moved to the backend of beyond some time ago and just got on with doing my own thing.

Maybe you should make a point of not searching....lightening can strike when you least expect, and caitlinfae is absolutely right about having a laugh.

So have fun, don't worry and if you want to know more about what it's like to be alone for quite some time then feel free to check out one of my old threads:

Could You Be Celibate?

I'm not saying you should give up, it doesn't sound like you want to, and although I started the thread, I'm STILL OPEN TO OFFERS.