Friends or more?

So yea I dated this girl when i was 16-17, and we ended on bad terms. (both of us cheating.) About a year after that, we became friends again. We may have fooled around a few times since then, but nothing serious. We are friends now, im 24.

Well since then, she has found herself a fiance and a baby. I still want to be with her though. After all thats going on around her, IMO her fiance isn't ready to be a decent father. I'm good friends with her, and aquantices with him.

I'm not going to get into specifics, as I can't see why it would matter. I just think I'm a better man for her than he is. I mean should I speak up?
Keep my mouth shut to keep her happy? These are some of the things I've been pondering over the past few years.

I had bought an engagement ring for my last gf, and ended up not proposing while I was in Hawaii on vacation with her. I knew I would never love her as much as this previous girl. That was 2 years ago. I broke up with that girl a year later.

Now I am here. I can risk utter embarassment and put my heart on the line, which will probobly fail IMO. Or I can just savor the fact that I think she is happy for the moment, and let her be.

Help?

I really cant give you any concrete advice on what to do this . I am willing to say this much thou if you are going to pour your heart out to this girl do it before she get married . IF she does still love you and want a future with you she may find a decision in your favor to make if she doesnt have to thin about walking away from her marriage .

Of course there are to many if in the above statement but in this case I cant avoid that fact .

I hope you forgive me for asking the following question .
Is there any chance that the child is yours ?
I ask because I see no clear path out of your jam .

my main bit of advice is don't recycle an engagement ring.

As much as it'll hurt you, you've got to back off IMO. She has a baby, and that baby has a father. No matter your opinion of him as a man, he is the father of this child, and that is what's most important here. How does she feel, does she still like you as much as you like her? If not, you've got to back it up and move on. As har d as it is, you've got to face up to the fact that the time has passed and it's not ment to be. I'm sorry, love's a bitch sometimes, especially unrequanted love. I hope you find peace in yourself and move on with as little pain inside. Remember, everything you experience in this life was ment to happen.

I'm going to have to agree with the above poster on all counts...

If SHE later finds she made a mistake, then maybe thats the door opening on something to pursue, but you don't want to be a homewrecker, and there are plenty of other prospects in the world.... Right now, if you think she's happy, then why spoil it if you really care about her. You may not like her man, but a baby together is a pretty big commitment, regardless, and SHE may feel he's right for her....

I agree with the last two. Don't be a homewrecker. If she breaks up and the situation permits, tell her your feelings.

But is it possible you feel this way only because she is not available now?

if in all these years nothing has happened till she got a fiance, tehre is a reason you didn't hook up.

I think the right person is out there for you yet. If you keep looking back at this girl, your gonna miss her.

let your friend go. She has her life now. now you need to live yours. Stop looking at the closed door and look for the open one.

Thanks for all the replies and good advice. We never hooked up really for awhile was because one of us would always be in a relationship at any given time, so timing just never worked out I guess. Just always stayed friends. I definatly don't want to mess her relationship up now, so I know I'll just have to let it go.

:w:

Originally posted by AcesInTheHole
Now I am here. I can risk utter embarassment and put my heart on the line, which will probobly fail IMO. Or I can just savor the fact that I think she is happy for the moment, and let her be.

You had your chance. Time to support this woman and her fiance, do not put yourself as a wedge. If he is the jerk you say, it will not last long, and your patience will be rewarded.

You know what you are doing is wrong, you can feel it, but you came here looking for some absolution, however for me this is how the drama and evil of the world is created.

As a side note, the fact you are even asking this might indicate you are the wrong person for her, and no different than what she has now, I am just guessing, but honestly, there are three other humans feelings involved here besides yours.