Genes, bloodlines, and personality disorders.

Originally posted by Blanca Rose


Their behavior? I still can't help but think you have no idea what these people go through. It is not just simply their behavior. They have no control over their behavior, which is once again a symptom of the disease. While I can understand you cutting off dependencies, and abuse, you only did it for you, not to really help the person in question.

[edit on 2-3-2009 by Blanca Rose]

Let me just add to this. Bianca, you can't help a person who doesn't want to be helped, disorder or not. I don't think you are being fair to Gumble. When does the responsiblity to help someone ever end? What makes it a responsibility in the first place? You can only do so much.

Yes, we have to look our for ourselves and our families. Should I let my kids go through much of the same things that I did? Absolutelyl not. My wife and kids are my immediate priority. Not my sister. I hope she gets well, but I can't focus my life around it.

I had come across a test for personality disorder and don't recall what I was. It would be interesting to see how many people do on this as some type of survey. Many who come to this site are likley to have some type of disorder and it shows in the behaviors as if profiled and probed. We really don't know who or how many are doing this. Many just say it's trolling. Online ego and egress, seems to be more related? I think we wear many faces, but often don't realize how obvious it is to others. One example is changing the way we talk, which I think is funny. This was obvious during the political campaign, such as using a southern accent or Obama's "preaching" style.

www.4degreez.com...


When I was in group therapy, we discussed our families' personality types. It appeared that I had some of both of my parents personality traits. But mostly was passive agressive. Some of the traits of the BPD I don't have.

Much of my life seemed to be related to my father and rebellion. I think some situation reactions are inherited or parroted. Some I recall, I chose not to follow or refused to acknowledge were indentical. I think sometimes a parent chooses a child to role play for some reason as if to analyze themselves from the other point of view, such as the abused becomes the abuser; I suppose this is part of dissociation or escapism and a twisted alter ego.

For some reason, I felt that my father was trying to outlive me and that in some way his death would release me. I still don't understand this yet and have yet to recall discussing it in therapy. I suppose like many drama movies suggest, this can become a drawn out battle of wills and mental illness as suggested in the movie: Psyhco.

Someone seems to have a "cook book" to create these personalities and has been suggested to be one of the government's favorites.

Originally posted by Whisper67
I'm a loner, but also an only child. I don't feel a strong need to go out there and make close relationships but instead chose to nurture the few I do have. I'd rather go do activites by myself like go to the movies ect which the one friend I have can't seem to understand. Hey, I'm good company lol

People have a hard time understanding "loners." Most people are thrown off by the fact that to look at me, you'd think I'd be fairly social. I'm not.

I have wrestled with it since I was about 14 years old. I change for a small period of time, but always fall back into my ways. I will soon be 32 years of age and am not involved with anyone, not even looking for a relationship.

I will say this, I do believe that there is some history of mental prolems on my mother's side, so maybe that is what it stems from.

Originally posted by Clark W. Griswold


Let me just add to this. Bianca, you can't help a person who doesn't want to be helped, disorder or not.

I have had experience with a friend I have known all my life, who didn't want any help, and who was not willing to take her meds. She engaged in behavior dangerous to herself, and some of the other situations you described. She ended up being taken away by "men in white coats," to regulate her meds, and get her on the right track. She is no longer a danger to herself or people around her for things she had no control over. Instead of being shunned, people who had to deal with her, saw that she got the help she needed, whether she wanted it or not.

I don't think you are being fair to Gumble. When does the responsiblity to help someone ever end? What makes it a responsibility in the first place? You can only do so much.

Well, to be honest, I thought you were grumbling in your post, to which I replied. So, we got that straightened out I thought. I can understand your feelings about being responsible, and your worries about your own children given your experience. I agree it's not your responsibility, but is it fair to leave this person loose in the general population to inflict more of their illness on other people? I mean, think about it? I guess it's easier to just ignore her, so you don't have to be responsible.

Yes, we have to look our for ourselves and our families. Should I let my kids go through much of the same things that I did? Absolutelyl not. My wife and kids are my immediate priority. Not my sister. I hope she gets well, but I can't focus my life around it.

That is wonderful that you look out for your family as much as you do! Hopefully your kids have not inherited the disease like your sister. If they happen to, will you choose to just write them off and ignore them as well?

reply to post by Blanca Rose


My sister has a husband. He married her with her disorder. If he wants her to get help, the responsibility should fall on him.

If it were one of my kids, then I would be responsible for getting them help until they reach adulthood, but once again, there has to be a point in time when you let go.

For the record, I just gave my kids a hypothetical situation and questioned them. If they had a disorder like Aunt XXXXX, and I was responsible for them until they were adults, lets say 25ish, would they expect me to be responsible for them for their whole life? Their answer to me was no. They feel the spouse should be responsible. That doesn't mean I would cut ties, that doesn't mean I won't love them, that doesn't mean I won't help them, but I will not be an enabler. If they are living in my home, then I would want to be responsible, but once they are off on their own, that's where my responsibility ends.

My sister can function on her own, she's proven that. She has a husband and now it's his responsibility.


And not to be rude, but how is it that I've been put through hell because of her disorder and it's my fault I won't get her help? This sounds like an argument I'd be having with my sister.

Doesn't anyone on here agree with me?

[edit on 2-3-2009 by Clark W. Griswold]

reply to post by aleon1018


I took that test and here are my results.


Disorder Rating Information
Paranoid: Low click for info
Schizoid: Low click for info
Schizotypal: Low click for info
Antisocial: Low click for info
Borderline: Low click for info
Histrionic: Low click for info
Narcissistic: Low click for info
Avoidant: Low click for info
Dependent: Low click for info
Obsessive-Compulsive: Low click for info


FYI, this is an excellent book on Borderline Personality Disorder. It was passed around in my family so we could all read it.

Stop Walking on Eggshells; Coping When Someone You Care about Has Borderline Personality Disorder by by Paul T. Mason

[edit on 2-3-2009 by Clark W. Griswold]

Well, here is what the test said about me. It falls in line with what my psychologist said, essentially.

Disorder Rating Information
Paranoid: High
Schizoid: High
Schizotypal:High
Antisocial: Moderate
Borderline: Very High
Histrionic: Moderate
Narcissistic: Moderate
Avoidant: Very High
Dependent: High
Obsessive-Compulsive: Low

I know, I'm making myself look like a real nutjob!!! All I am saying is that I do have some problems and I can relate to the whole mental "disorder" issue. Honestly, there are too many things that they label as a mental "disorder." In the 1950s, there were only about 50 diagnosable mental "disorders" in the DSM;now there are anywhere from 250-300...

[edit on 2-3-2009 by SpeakerofTruth]

reply to post by Blanca Rose


Thanks for your input Blanca...I had heard that alcoholism/drug abuse and psychiatric conditions can go hand in hand...as you said as a way of self medicating or coping with things.

I have had my son evaluated many times by many different "specialists" for a variety of things. Being that he's only 8 years old its a very difficult time and most doctors won't touch him yet in terms of a psychiatric diagnosis. In the meantime for the past 8 yrs they have tested him for pretty much every physical condition and ailment under the sun. He has seen 2 child psychologists...the first insisted it was our parenting...even though our other 2 children are perfectly fine and not exhibiting any of these behaviours or traits. The second insisted we medicate...after 3 different trials of 3 different meds and a complete loss of our son's great character and sense of humour we gave up on that route.

I'm in limbo right now and haven't decided how to follow up at this point. We're trying many different things at home and taking advantage of some community resources hoping it is just a behavioural issue...if all of those options fail it will have to be back to the "specialists".

And to Clark...I too had to cut off contact with my mother. After many many years of physical mental and emotional abuse...the egg shells you talked about, the unpredictable mood swings...her accusing me of things that SHE did while under the influence I couldn't take it anymore and severed all ties. It was an easy decision to make...but a hard one to follow through on over the past 13 years. Luckily she's moved far away making contact difficult. I completely understand and support your decision as someone on this side of the fence.

My heart breaks though when I think that my son might possibly be on the other sideof that fence...I could never ever break contact or give up on him....keeping my fingers crossed.

Michelle

I took the test again. I think some of these are vague and easy to cheat on or I suppose as in denial. "Have you ever done anything you could have wen to jail for?" the 5th. Actually, being delusional and paranoid, who can say what's determined as illegal or even happened. Repressed memories...etc.

People who are overly critical of themselves etc. These tests are inaccurrate depending on the personality. I've yet to find out what my therapists says.



Paranoid: Very High click for info
Schizoid: Low click for info
Schizotypal: High click for info
Antisocial: Moderate click for info
Borderline: Moderate click for info
Histrionic: Moderate click for info
Narcissistic: Moderate click for info
Avoidant: High click for info
Dependent: Moderate click for info
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate

Originally posted by Clark W. Griswold

My sister has a husband. He married her with her disorder. If he wants her to get help, the responsibility should fall on him.

Well, you left this detail out earlier, making it sound like the poor woman was all alone. I agree with you wholeheartedly, that it is his responsiblity, over and above anyone else.

If it were one of my kids, then I would be responsible for getting them help until they reach adulthood, but once again, there has to be a point in time when you let go.

Ok then, remember you said this!

That doesn't mean I would cut ties, that doesn't mean I won't love them, that doesn't mean I won't help them, but I will not be an enabler.

How are you an enabler? Does your sister suffer from something outside of her illness alone, like alchohol or drug addiction?

My sister can function on her own, she's proven that. She has a husband and now it's his responsibility.

Yes, and as I said earlier, it seems like people who suffer from the same disease are sometimes attracted to each other.

And not to be rude, but how is it that I've been put through hell because of her disorder and it's my fault I won't get her help? This sounds like an argument I'd be having with my sister.

I haven't considered this to be an argument, sorry you feel that way. Leaving out the detail about her having a husband would have made a lot of difference, here.

Doesn't anyone on here agree with me?

Heck, even I agree with you now that you made it clear she is not out there in the world alone, and has a husband!



[edit on 2-3-2009 by Blanca Rose]

reply to post by Michelle129


Michelle, I really feel for you! Don't give up hope, you will find a combination of things to work this out that fit right for the situation.

I was once told by a Psychiatrist how unique the brain is for every individual. There is not anything set in stone to figure out how it works for each person. It's not uncommon for individuals to have to try many different types of medications, sometimes having to combine a few.

It breaks my heart to hear that your son was not himself in the ways you love him for while undergoing his trials. Best of wishes on that.

I do know one thing, most people who suffer these types of illnesses are very brilliant, and intelligent. Maybe it would help, even if he is only 8 years old, to direct him strongly to something he shows an interest in. Some sort of hobby, or a musical talent for instance. That sort of release might help him in the long run, and he might be given to excell at that, rather than embrace his symptoms.

Originally posted by aleon1018


People who are overly critical of themselves etc. These tests are inaccurrate depending on the personality. I've yet to find out what my therapists says.

Well, self diagnosis is almost always inaccurate. We tend to find, for whatever reason, similarities between ourselves and characteristics of any mental "disorder."

As I alluded to before, everything is marked as being a mental "disorder," or eccentricity anymore. Psychiatrists and psychologists are making fortunes off of our naivete.

reply to post by SpeakerofTruth


Yes, a person who don't trust banks, lawyers, doctors or drug companies, is obviously a threat in some way. My recent trip to the psychiatrist and the mention of a conspiracy site and MKULTRA seemed to require a nurse and a witness. They also claim I've been in trouble with the law in some way. The word "altercation" was also mentioned.(can't have any of those)

Both of these people looked like patients from my observations. The one couldn't figure out what to do with the copies or even tie his own shoes. I'll remember not to go there on a friday next time. Apparently my comments about him in other therapy came back to him or that's just as good as it gets in some low cost facilities.

Now they want me on a medication that will use up my insurance limits in 6 months. Apparently from overhearing comments from a pharmeceutical supplier; many of these people are also losing their jobs now.

No jobs, no coverages or these people just can't afford their own share of the costs. Doctors prescribing the more expensive medications etc. Pretty scarry. We're not so alone anymore.

reply to post by aleon1018


Well, the truth is that we are living in a world where everyone has "issues." However,I have said for quite some time that psycholgy and psychiatry has turned into little more than a money making scheme.

"You're shy,you have avoidant personality disorder." "You believe in UFOs, ghosts and conspiracies, you must be paranoid schizophrenic. Blah,blah,blah." The list goes on and on, and on.

reply to post by SpeakerofTruth


I guess the game is not to rock the sinking boat when a person is receiving low cost help and SSDI. That would be like shooting yourself in the foot, especially during the present economy crisis. I have heard that many don't even take their meds anyway. I guess most patients are just field mice.

I doubt they were very happy with me when I stopped getting my medications through their pharmacy. Makes me wonder how much of these meds are counterfeit. I've heard this was a problem before the stock market issues. Who knows what we're getting now.

I'm not sure how many have died from drywall spackle overdose though.