Hell Explained In A Chemistry Class

I got this in an e-mail and figured I would share it with BTS.

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry midterm.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:


Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rate s as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting, "Oh my God."

(Addendum: This student received an A+.)

[edit on 13-2-2009 by SpartanKingLeonidas]

Ahhaahahahahaha... now I know what awesome looks like.

Beats out my best BS quiz answer, by far--I was forced to take an English lit course once, hated it, and answered the question "Who was Alfred the Great?" with "The best butler that Bruce Wayne ever had."

Prof gave me a half-point for making her laugh, at least.

Originally posted by quitebored
Ahhaahahahahaha... now I know what awesome looks like.

Beats out my best BS quiz answer, by far--I was forced to take an English lit course once, hated it, and answered the question "Who was Alfred the Great?" with "The best butler that Bruce Wayne ever had."

Prof gave me a half-point for making her laugh, at least.

I've never done that. It's okay, everyone does what they do.

Originally posted by SpartanKingLeonidas

I've never done that.

It's okay, everyone does what they do.

Well, I hate to leave a blank space on a test, yaknow.

Even if I haven't a clue what the answer is. ^^

Originally posted by quitebored

Originally posted by SpartanKingLeonidas

I've never done that.

It's okay, everyone does what they do.

Well, I hate to leave a blank space on a test, yaknow.

Even if I haven't a clue what the answer is. ^^

I understand completely and I hope you know I was laughing hard at your comment. I know on job applications they don't like to see blank spaces, so I definately understand.

reply to post by SpartanKingLeonidas


That was my intention, yes. ...I actually did very well in that class, despite my ignorance of history. Though in retrospect, I think that was more a function of the curve than actually knowing what on earth was going on...

Not the first time I've seen this, but still makes me laugh every time I read it...there are bunch of these kinds of essay answers.....