posted on Feb, 7 2009 @ 02:18 AM
Let me start out by saying that it has been a long couple of months. Our company downsized again in November. We were already a skeleton staff to
begin with and after the cut we were asked to "redouble our efforts", again, like the last two times.
Well after the promise that there would be no more cutting we all went on with our work-lives and redoubled workload, until this afternoon. I just got
the news that more layoffs had come today. We lost three good people, one pregnant and due in June. Besides thanking the Almighty that I still have a
job and can still support my family. I'm torn on what I'm feeling: Sad for my friends and colleagues, angry at the corporate bastards that are still
getting their bonuses, happy that I still have a job, frustrated that I will be told to redouble my efforts yet again and take over some other poor
SOB's already overloaded tasks.
I laid my head down tonight hoping to get some rest from the day and began to dream.
I dreamed I was with friends (couldn't tell you who they were) in the evening in one of the rooms of my house, when we began to hear a commotion
outside. My dogs were barking at something coming down the poorly lighted street, surrounding it, mauling it. It was a big black bear with a brown
muzzle. As my wife yelled to get the dog's back in the house, I yelled for one of my friends to throw me a rifle so I could stop this before we lost
a dog.
But before I could make it to the front door, the bear was inside and pissed. She (I say she since that's what I felt she was) was knocking over
things. It was apparent that she had been driven into the house by the dogs and was hurriedly trying to find a way out. After a brief struggle, I
separated the bear and I in one room and the family/friends/dogs in another. It was just me, a lever action Marlin .30.30 and this big pissed off
black bear in a very small room.
She had her left side to me and as I brought the rifle up to deliver the shot that would kill her on the spot, I stopped.
All of the sudden I felt a deep sadness for the bear, her sadness and mine for what I thought was my only recourse of action against her, to protect,
what? I didn't feel any fear. When the situation arose I took decisive action. The family was now safe since they were in another room. What then?
What made me lower my rifle and offer my hand to this bear, and then get blue berries out of the fridge and offer those?
She was scared, she was the one running.
After a few minutes, I opened the back door and let her go free, hoping that she would make it to her destination without someone or something else
intercepting her. All I could think about was this bear's well being and that I had gotten a chance to pet her and calm her down before I sent her on
her way. Then I awoke.
It was one of those dreams that you know you are suppose to pay attention to. The bear is the focal point for me and I guess it
represents....something.
Any ideas?