posted on Jan, 22 2009 @ 09:48 AM
this topics is a bit off the wall but i truely hope it can open up some discussion about how i feel as a human being.
so here we go -
i feel like my soul can be empty, and can sometimes feel "young". inexperienced, innocent but wondering about certain topics.sometimes it takes me
hours to snap out of a mood i am in, and this mood is cold, calculated and emotionless. it usually comes out when i am in a state of emotional pain.
some would sya that it is a defense mechanism that i subconiously have. personally, i feel guilty that during situations like that, i truely do feel
nothing. i have lost partners over fights or topics and having no emotional attachment to said topics.
sitting on my bed and thinking about it, i ponder as to whether my soul is a new soul, learning as it goes along,getting passionate about something
and then mucking up - or such an old soul that everything is just black, white or grey.. with no emotional attachment.
i guess what i am really trying to say is that sometimes i feel nothing when i know i should - funerals, weddings... and othertimes there is a
paroxysm of emotions that i just cannot contain.
is there something strange about my soul, is there something i can do to find a middle band, or am i just imagining the whole thing and its just the
way human life really is? have i been hurt so much in the past that present relationships when heated in debate will cause the emotional side of my
soul to cut itself off?
is this a known phenomena? is there a catagory for people like myself?
i was raised by beautiful parents, a loving family - i have no mental health issues, nothing in my life is stressful and yet i feel this way.
... i just want help as to identifying what i am, and if i'm alone.