Is There Ever A Reason To Hit A Woman? Yes

reply to post by orderedchaos

My years in the workplace have been very educational, most of the time is spent listening to others' problems. There are a hell of a lot of psychotic women out there, you would not believe some of the stuff I have seen. One cashier I worked with filed false domestic violence charges against her husband for not taking her shopping, then tried to pay another coworker $7,000 to kill him because he "beat" her (he had all bruises), then turned around and denied everything when we called the cops on her behalf. Another, who was 31, slept with an underage coworker, attempted suicide before work when he dumped her and came in when it didn't work. Then had a massive seizure during rush hour, also getting the bagboy fired. Our dairy manager's wife, who stalked him in the store to see if he was cheating on her, passed thousands of dollars in bad checks in his store. She was shopping when the cops came in to show us the stack of checks and the manager actually had her arrested to get her away from us.

Two other women I worked with couldn't work at night or on weekends because they had been "raped" and were afraid of the dark. Which didn't stop them from going out drinking at night in bars and picking up men ...or filing false rape charges against them when the men slept with them and dumped them. More than once and no, they were never prosecuted. Another pulled scams with her two underaged boys where she would send them into bars and tattoo parlors to be served, then turn them into the state and sue them. Her husband got turned down for a promotion at the local Denny's restaurant so they paid three female coworkers to file fake sexual harassment charges against the man who got the job. Yes, they got away with it!

My favorite incident came during the Clinton years when a very aggressive bulldyke who ran the local abuse shelter spoke to our class and told us very factually that "all women were victims of domestic abuse and that most would be raped at least once in their lives, many more" (huh?!?). At the time my boyfriend' alcoholic mother was supposed to attend nonexistent anger management classes with her organization after bashing her sleeping boyfriend's forehead in with a fireplace log, after burning the phones to make sure he couldn't call for help (he was much bigger and never fought back). She then tried to sign us up for counseling through her program and passed out literature on how to turn your spouse in for abuse (huh?!?). When I asked where these classes were meeting, she told me they met at a center. I told her, "No they aren't, you guys have been faking (her) court documents for six months!" and she actually told me I was a victim of male brainwashing and didn't realize I "was being abused." (Huh?!?) Funny thing was, she wouldn't look at the men in the class the whole time or let them speak. Incredible!

When I was nine and had surgery my roommate was a 2 year old whose welfare witch mother fed him lye after the state stopped her payments. Didn't kill him or damage the volcal cords but it burned his esophagus and trachea clear through. That poor kid was on morphine and screamed day and night.

At my last job a very emotionally disturbed coworker and her husband conned several employees into "swinging" with them, than blackmailed them and tried to have them fired when the friendships ended to get her husband a job there. When one of these relationships ended they retaliated by emailing photos of the husband sexually assaulting the girl, who was drugged, to me in her presence and showed them to others. Guess who got fired for disclosing it to management? Not them.

reply to post by _Phoenix_

Haha that sounds just like Bourbon Street. My brother was in a situation like that. He dropped his cell phone and this guy picked it up. When he tried to get it back he realized that he was surrounded by 5 thugs. Me personally....I would have taken my whoopin...heck with it. Surrounded like that I am playing for keeps. But it really does go to show that most people don't know what to do when a person is about to get jumped.

That was off topic but my pov on the whole man/woman thing is exactly what my grandmother told me how she was raised. If a woman is gonna hit you like a man she deserves to be treated like one. Otherwise, people that do it for no other reason than being a beaver are the scum of the earth

I've been there...At freeway speed in cars, and in private. never hit her though., just blocked a few blows and flying articles., Thick glass ashtrays hurt when they are pitched overhand , FYI)

I know a bad temper can be devistating, Like a shark on a feeding frenzy...past the point of no return...

The one incident that was "special" was when I took a 6 way AC strip, full force to the back. ( the 6 plug box was the end that hit me, so the extra weight made for a good head speed as the cord was swung.)

Unfortunately, I was wearing my thickest leather jacket, and although I felt a good impact, there was no pain.

As I 180'ed to prepare for what may come next, I started laughing. She was so gone, and since the thing didn't hurt, I couldn't help myself, seeing her charging up and furious.

That however, was a big mistake. I guess laughing at someone who is trying to hurt you and gets in a solid whack with a 6 plug extention, just invokes more anger, If that is possible.

On the next lunge, I countered, grabbing the box and a forearm, and escorted her out of my studio and locked the door.

What happened next was totally wrong.

Her daughter was upstairs, and heard the rukus and called the 3 digit help number.

Withing 10 minutes, I had two officers knocking at my door.

I made a few comments and waited until they threatened to break the door before I unlocked it.

I exp[lained that, " no I did not hit her", and that I helped her exit the room and locked the door to seperate any further potential exchanges, and that yes there was some loud verbal intercourse, but I had no Idea they would be called.

Then, the inquiring officer turned to her and asked, "did you hit him?"

She said yes. The next question was like,"with you hand?, fist? an object? She answered that she indeed swung an "extention chord" at me.
He asked to see it, and I retrieved it from where I set it down.

Now that she had waived her 5th, I was asked to corroborate her story and to show how and where I was hit.

By now, I knew that there was no point in deferring, since the law states someone will be taken at every domestic violence call that is determined physucal or within the code, which as we all know is just interpretation for the most part.

So a grabbed the plug end where you would insert it into a receptical, and swung it, showing him how the 6 plug block hit, and where on my back.

He gave a "Wow!" look and I did continue with, it didn't hurt, and I defused the situation imediately, seperating myself from her to cool down.

Well, they went ahead and cuffed her, right in front of her daughter that called them, and took her.

Her daughter started freaking out, like how dare they, and how she couldn't believe they were taking her mom and not me, bla bla bla...

As they walked to the car, I told the daughter, "that's what you get for calling the police when your mom - (I use the word "Sybol") Sybols out",

She ran off all pissed off. I went back to my studio and turned up the music.

She was PRed later that day, but some woman came to the door with a restraining order form and a "Domestic Violence victims handbook", and asked how I was, physucally, emotionally. The woman was some "Prom-Queen Runner Up" type, appointed by the court as a victims advocate or some stupid "Bling Bling" job that obviously by the way she walked and her demeaner gave her a feeling of self-import, and she feined empathy and concern well.

When she finally left, I tossed her package in the round file and refused to sign the order, but that didn't matter. It was court imposed. (it seemed there was a previous incident I had not known about.

My girl cost me some court fees and time, because when I went to wait for her release, I sat for litterally 3-1/2 hours outside at night on a curb. That's how long it took to process her just to get release.

So, Although I have been there, I still have never hit a woman. I have blocked blows and flying objects, but not hit.

I found that laughing at someone intent on inflicting pain goes a long ways if you want to antagonize the situation.

Just Calm Down, are the three words I used after that, prior to her anger management course. (not ordered either, she took it upon herself).

Good for You are the three words I used after that.

I

I

Part 1.

I'm not an advocate of fighting just to fight nor striking just to do it, regardless of gender. But, I do feel that everyone is entitled to defend themselves to look after the welfare of those around them, if they choose to do so.

Re: the OP's opening post. It's likely none of us except for the OP were around him at the time of that incident and even if we've been in similar, we can only speculate how we'd hope to react if we were in the same situation. Could he have handled it without striking her in the chest? Would I have handled it differently? I'd like to say yes, but really I don't know. It's easy to say he could've & should've pulled over, etc., but if he attempted that maybe she would've grabbed the wheel, jerked it and caused and accident at 65mph and multiple people were hurt or killed? Then what? Will people be saying he should've KO'd her because restraining her wasn't possible? If he did manage to safely pull over, kicked her out of the car and then she gets hit by a car or she runs into traffic (suicide), then what? Or if he left her there, then she gets raped and/or killed (by person or by a car on the highway)... then what? How difficult would those be to come to terms with? I guess some might feel that's thinking of things to extreme, but who knows what would've happened had he done those things? I feel that the OP did what he felt was necessary at that moment and regardless of what anyone thinks (including myself), he did the right things because both he and her are alive, as well as the other drivers that were around them at that time. The adreneline, trying to drive while not getting hit, she might've been yelling/screaming at him (??), trying not swerve and endanger others, her and self, the anxiety, mind trying to process the stimuli, yet think of safety, trying to intake how nearby drivers are driving, confusion (??) etc.; being in the thick of it can completely change everything from one's ideal specualtion of how a situation "could/should" be handled.

Re: knife attacks. Knives are very often understimated. It seems that people (not saying here, but in general) think that because someone has trained in martial arts, self-defense, can fight a bit, etc., that the person should easily be able to disarm/disable a person with a knife because they think a cut or two, etc. by a knife in a fight is no big deal and they should be able to ignore it, suck it up and continue fighting. It doesn't happen that way as often as people think. People tend to forget the amount of blood loss and the shock that sets in. When attacked with a blade, the result can easily be a question of which person in the bodybag or which is in the hospital getting stitched up. An aggressor who knows how to weild a blade is a completely different animal than fighting one with no weapons or one that is merely brandishing a weapon to look intimidating, but has no skill. Regardless, neither should be taken lightly. In knifefighting, the rule of thumb is that if a person pulls a knife on you... if you have the space, run, get out of there! Don't try and be macho and fight with them! As to thoughts about if the attacker throws the knife at you while you're running away, unless the person is skilled at knife throwing, throwing a knife is not a wise move for them because they are throwing away their weapon. So, to the OP's question about a woman coming at you with a knife with the intent of deadly force (the force which can cause death or serious bodily harm) and I don't mean in a "training" situation either... I'd think yes, defend yourself, you're life is on the line; gender is not an issue. But, how you do defend/counterattack, that is strictly your decision and you must have no regrets about your decision. As you are trained/training in a discipline, you need to have presence of mind to think ahead of repercussions and as to whether or not you should do a given action.

Part 2.

When you're defending yourself or others, gender of the aggressor should not be an issue... they are trying to cause harm. To think you shouldn't do anything because the attacker is a female means you are underestimating your opponent and that can cost your life. So, weigh the outcomes.

Re: weapons: I think that if anyone threatens you with a weapon (in the sense of any object being used with the intent to cause death or bodily harm), I feel you should have the right to defend yourself, regardless of aggressor's gender.

As far as nutty women and the open-handed/fist aspect goes, about 20 years ago, my friend had a gf and he suspected she was cheating on him, to which she denied and pulled the "you don't trust me" on him and he always fell for it. One time, he was driving in town and thought he saw her car her car on a side street (her car had custom plates, so no mistaking it) when she was supposed to be several miles away at work; later she admitted it was the guy's house she was cheating with and the guy didn't know she had a bf. Anyways, when she got home, he questioned her just inside the front door and she said she was at work the whole time... car at work, etc., so he asked her about her car at a strange house. At first, she denied it, then she went hysterical, started yelling and hitting him in the chest. He touched her face and she screamed that he hit her. He went into shock, thinking maybe he did black out and hit her, as he was raised to never strike a female, so he dropped his hands in shame. She kneed him in the crotch, held him up on a wall and began pounding on his face. The only reason she stopped is one of his large friends just so happened to stop by, saw her beating him just inside the front door and pulled her off, to which she stormed away and drove off. End result, two black eyes, broke his nose, ruptured vessels in both his eyes and fractured one of his orbital sockets. She was 5'6, 135lbs. He was driven to my house a few days later and told me he hit her, was ashamed for letting his parents down and deserved what he got. When he told me what happened, it turned out he never hit her and I didn't see him as doing anything wrong. This was reinforced when the gf admitted to other friends was that no, he did not slap nor hit her.... he merely touched her face to calm her down, tried to secure her arms and if he'd tried to hit her back, she'd sue. She admittted she was so enraged from being caught & then he even touched her face, that she screamed he hit her in hopes that nearby guys would hear her, run top her aid and beat him up for "hitting" a female and in the meantime she would beat because she knew he wouldn't hit back. So, she clearly took advantage of the "he won't hit me" and that passing guys would just "assume" my friend was in the wrong, so without thinking, they would automatically side with her and start beating him. We tried explaining to him how she took advantage of that, but he just wouldn't listen.

I was raised that if a person will hit you in play, they will hit you in anger. If you strike, you have no right to complain about the retaliation.

As I'm not in the legal field, these are just my thoughts on the posts.

For all the people asking why i couldn't simply pull over i will lay out the situation for you. For those who aren't from the UK i'm going to go through how our road system works and such things.

In the UK the driver is on the right hand side and the passenger on the left. The motorway had 3 lanes and a hard shoulder on the left, the hard shoulder is there for emergenies.

We were driving and she kicked off saying i was cheating on her. I later learned this was part of her condition that was diagnosed after we split up, paranoia.

Suddenly i get a punch in the side of my jaw. This punch was powerful enough to daze me and loosen a tooth so badly i later saw a dentist to have it fixed. I raised my left arm to cover my face, i put my left hand near the top of my head and used my forearm and bicep to shield my face. Even so when a punch laned it would cause me to jerk the wheel quite badly.

When the first punch landed i was in the middle lane and the force of it caused me to enter the lane on my right, if another road user had been there i would have gone into them and probably pushed them into the central reservation.

For a full minute i took punches trying to sort out my options, including several punches to the ribs and a punch to my groin.

Now to those asking why i couldn't just stop. Well stopping in the middle of a motorway is beyond dangerous and would have most certainly caused an accident. Even doing it slowly would have resulted in fast travelling traffic coming from behind having to swerve if they were not paying attention so i didn't chose that route.

The second choice was to pull over to the hard shoulder. The motorway was extremely busy. Remember i said the hard shoulder is on my left, to be able to pull over to it i needed to travel across the lane to my left. But my view was being obscured by my arm, i coudln't even see my mirror. If i had put my arm down and looked i would have received a full on punch to the nose and that would have been the end of us both. Simply swerving into the left lane would have been horribly dangerous as i had no idea what was there, it could have been a car, truck, coach etc.

I weighed up all of these options and took the only course left to me. Restraining her was impossible with one arm when she wasn't wearing a seatbelt (she had taken it off) and had use of both arms. I didn't hit her full power and i specifically chose a target that wouldn't cause any lasting damage. I struck her just under the xiphoid process (bottom of sternum) to wind her long enough that i could get control and get into the left hand lane.

I then talked to her, telling her to calm down or i would call the police. I spent the last part of that journey with one arm ready to shoot up. If you are wondering why i didn't threaten this before, my simple answer is that i did threaten it. I shouted various things like "we're going to crash", "we'll die", "Stop or i'll call the police", none of it worked, i had no other choice. I broke up with her shortly after.

To the people asking about her mental health condition and why i didn't leave her earlier. Quite simply she didn't have a diagnosed condition until after i left her. I just thought she was very moody, i suppose i was so in love it just blinded me and i doubt i'm the first person that has ever happened to.

I hope this helps show i really did have no other option at that time, traveling at that speed, down a very busy motorway.

Just to reiterate here. I have never struck a woman before or since. I have stood up against guys hitting their girlfriends, people i didn't even know. I hate wife beaters, i hate men who strike women and before this happened i always said that there is no possible excuse to hit a woman. I really and truly believed it and now i believe that the only excuse to ever have to strike a woman is when your life is in danger. No other time.


I didn't start this thread looking for justification, if you look at the title i feel completely and utterly justified. I posted this to ask the opinions of others as to whether it's ever ok in their view to hit a woman. Not because i want validation, just because it's an interesting topic.

[edit on 16-1-2009 by ImaginaryReality1984]

So your giving the choices, possible death or whack that silly broad?
Yeah give her a whack to save you and her, if a girl is mugging you with a knife, beat her sensless.
Come on, we're all human being and the human body can take some stick, if it's called for I don't see a problem in selfdefence.

But if your going to beat your wife because your dinner got cold while your in the bar, you deserve a fate worse than death.

[edit on 16-1-2009 by Chukkles]

Originally posted by Chukkles
But if your going to beat your wife because your dinner got cold while your in the bar, you deserve a fate worse than death.

[edit on 16-1-2009 by Chukkles]

I agree completely with this statement. I have stood up against brutes who hurt women for no reason, i have had 2 ribs broken defending a woman against her boyfriend. So for those painting me as some violent man who loves to brutalise women, well you are very very wrong.

reply to post by secretagent woooman


And I thought it was only some people I know, knew, and Jerry Springer.

I can't tell you how your story hits home. I bet I could go on for hours some of the crazy abuses of one sort or another I can recall. I bet you could as well.

Funny thing is the ones (women) that are the most physically confrontational (at least those I have witnessed), all like to watch serial killer documentaries and shows like forensic files, 48 hours, and the two most regular, Snapped (On lifetime for women), and Wife Swap.

Crazy world.

Originally posted by jdub297
You don't want to hear what normal people say. Try this; does this fit into your imagination?

Cut her up. Put the little picecs in bags you can carry out without notice.

What are you looking for here? Affirmation?

You are sick. Go away, hitter.

Wow, just wow.

So someone who defends themselves against a woman who is viciously beating them is a violent psychopath? Can i just say that this idea never crossed my mind and the fact that you came up with it says far more about your mental state than mine. I never even had this enter my mind and yet you did, that says an awful lot about your mental state.

You call me sick and yet you are the one who had their mind filled with this idea! From what you have said any man under attack from a woman with a knife should let themselves be stabed to death, as defending themselves would make them a hitter in your view.

So there you go lads, let yourselves die and never hit a woman even if they're stabbing you, any retaliation would make you a hitter.

You scare me.

[edit on 16-1-2009 by ImaginaryReality1984]

I might catch hate for this..but if a woman can stand up like a man, she can get knocked down like one.

reply to post by The Scarecrow

I actually agree with this---> to the point that it fits my perception of what you said-what I think you said.

For instance, I'm a very obiedient meek woman of very short stature-yet I can chop a cord of wood, ect. Some people could take the 'stand up like a man' comment to the degree that if a woman is not tied to the stove in an apron running for coffee for her man with her eyes faced to the ground that she is acting outside of her gender and should be beaten.

I took it as-If she can throw a punch *and does* than she can take a punch and in that instance-should.



[edit on 16-1-2009 by HugmyRek]

Originally posted by The Scarecrow
I might catch hate for this..but if a woman can stand up like a man, she can get knocked down like one.

Well said, I've had the same philosophy for a while now.

Man enough to hit, man enough to be hit. Equality works both ways girls, you can't be the fairer sex and expect to be treated as feminine if you do macho things and get aggresive.

As the OP stated though, some women are psychos and they need to be handled carefully. Surprise attacks can prove painful... I know.

I don't do "bunny-boilers" anymore.

Originally posted by HugmyRek
I took it as-If she can throw a punch *and does* than she can take a punch and in that instance-should.
[edit on 16-1-2009 by HugmyRek]

Yeah, that's exactly what I meant.

reply to post by ImaginaryReality1984


Some people just deserve a slap.

To me its a question of the force used.
If you can stop a woman with a slap then there's no need to punch her.
No one needs to use more force than is necessary.

I don't think any man (or woman) should stand there and take physical abuse,and I'm a woman just in case you're wondering.

I've seen women get pretty nasty with men and they just stand there and take it because they've been told its wrong to hit a woman.Meanwhile I'm there goin,'for fecks sake just slap the crazy wench.' lol.

It can't be an easy at all.Its very much like a,damned if you do damned if you don't situation.


[edit on 17-1-2009 by DantesLost]

Originally posted by DantesLost
reply to post by ImaginaryReality1984

 

Some people just deserve a slap.

To me its a question of the force used.
If you can stop a woman with a slap then there's no need to punch her.
No one needs to use more force than is necessary.


[edit on 17-1-2009 by DantesLost]

Yes that's the right way, one step at a time. If you punch her right in the face straight away before trying everything else first (talking, grabbing to resist, walk away) then that's a bit worrying.

Also taking each step at a time depends on the situation, some situations might require skipping other steps and going to the final punch in the face step straight away before you die haha.




[edit on 17-1-2009 by _Phoenix_]