Where is the love? (for people in general)

This is something I'm really not understanding about myself.

I have days where I have this deep love for people, for everyone. I just wish everyone well and want to smile I want to see what's going on with everyone. If I'm driving in my car I feel like I'm sharing the road with angels... the highest quality of company one could ever imagine.

And then I have those days where I don't even want to look at anyone, I am tired of the closed mindedness, the apathy, the stupidity, the hate. I wish these people would stop bugging me so I can just be to myself.

And obviously I have the in between days, but those are boring!

Perhaps with me it is deeply based on psychology, my introvertedness, being rested or not. But I find this is not the be all end all in my experience.

Really what is it that gives us this transcendent sort of acceptance (when it happens) for everyone we see? Why does it have to go away ? How do you find yourself responding to people in general as you progress down your own path?

I understand ya completley
I too have days when I wake up and feel like its going to be the best day ever...and days where I just wanna keep my ass in bed and not go out.
However I tend to focus on the moment and when I get down or feel alittle bothered I tell myself that if I, or my mind can create this emotion then it can take it away... If you constantly worry about it then you are simply feeding the emotion..and to a deeper extent there could be a part of you that likes feeling that way.
Its kinda a mind#
So when you have those good days...what did you do to make those days good? would you still feel that way without them?
When you have a bad day...well I mean gettin over "mental blocks" as I call them or the ego is a pain in the ass sometimes...but I always figure that there are plenty of people in the world who are WAY worse off than me.
I find that the more optimistic you are the better your outlook is even if you yourself find it to be odd to always look on the bright side
but why the hell would you wanna look and dwell on the badside?
My suggestion is that next time you feel bad ask yourself why you do
If you still feel confused you need to do some meditation most likely.
Grounding, mediation and chakra/acupunture stretches can honestly do incredibly well things for starting off and situating your day

its called "bi-polarity". i've been living with it my whole life. one day i want to befriend the world, the next i'm worse than a dictator. it ain't easy finding people who can tolerate this. i don't blame them.

What you are describing is being almost euphoric one day and depressed another day. I didn't hear you mention a middle ground.

The only time I have ever loved the whole world was when I was under the influence of chemicals.

We would have a wonderful world if everybody loved each other. But the fact is we don't.

There are people on that highway you're going down that could rip your throat out and not feel any remorse. There are also people that would give you the last dime they had if you needed it.

It is up to us to discern who we can share our love with. If we don't make good choices love can be a most hurtful emotion. Heck, let's face it...love hurts.

I personally give everyone an equal chance. I try to love everyone. But I guard my heart. Love is a beautiful thing...we can love mankind as a whole but we must realize all of mankind doesn't love us.

Ive read some psych books that talk about a mirror effect that we can have on ourselves. I sometimes feel the same way (love/hate or bi-polar) and can deal with it better on a "hate" day when I realize that I'm not hating other people, I'm just seeing something in others that I recognize and hate in myself. From there my answer is to get "Confucius-like" and make it a learning experience (hard to do) but I feel it can happen without medications.

Peace

reply to post by Novise

...Really what is it that gives us this transcendent sort of acceptance (when it happens) for everyone we see? Why does it have to go away?...

good question - it's something I ask myself all the time. I can only tell you something I've discovered for myself - which may or may not help you - or even apply to you right now - since I'm not sure how old you are

for myself - I noticed that as I gained more life experience - the less I could see life, the world, people - from a black and white point of view. Everything became a little more grey. It actually complicates things at first - but it can also bring balance to your life

when you see people you love or admire do things that disturb you - or you see people you didn't respect or like do amazing, wonderful things that really and truly surprise you - you realize you can't depend on a simple explanation for good and bad

sooner or later you do things that make you lose respect for your own self - and then, you do something just spectacularly generous, kind - or just plain nice, and that surprises you too

at some point it dawns on you - we're all human - and there are reasons for the things we do - we are all capable of wonderful and terrible things

it doesn't solve anything - and it doesn't make wrong right. The problems of the world don't just go away. But the ups and downs are less - the disappointments are easier to understand and weather. It's also easier at some point to recognize what's right with the world - and not focus as much on what's wrong. You can become accustomed to the ups and downs - it makes the swings less dramatic - there's a sense of "this too shall pass"

most definatley
almost an all knowing enduring inspiration I guess now that I think about it...
well spoken

Just want to say thanks for the input. Excellent replies and discussion here.

I have always thought basic psychology had a lot to do with it (though I often wonder if there is not more to it). Like this morning I wake up very very peaceful. I layed in bed for an hour doing absolutely nothing, not thinking hard on much, just digesting the week.

Spiramirabilis your post gave me chills, very isightful and right up my alley. Sounds like this is basically a see-saw effect that becomes more balanced with time and experience.

It's really amazing because it is obvious the more experience you have the more moderate the feelings get (but they have more depth, the depth is neutral to the good/evil pos/neg happy/sad attachment perhaps).

Sad thing is a psychologist would diagnose you as bi-polar and want to put you on pills to "correct" this, when it's just part of growing up.

Frankly it's going to be one of those "good days" I can already tell, and I'm just going to go with it. But I'll be around people, strangers, I'll be normal and guarded as necessary but inside I'll be flying. You know what I mean.

Sad thing is a psychologist would diagnose you as bi-polar and want to put you on pills to "correct" this, when it's just part of growing up.

while I don't want to take away from the importance of getting a correct diagnosis (if there is a real chance of mental health problems) - I think you touch on something very important with this

not just from an observers perspective - but from our own - of ourselves

experiencing strong emotions is not a sign of mental illness - it seems these days that if you aren't quiet, well behaved/tame/subdued, neutral or HAPPY - you have some sort of problem

strong emotions and moods are part of being human - it's only when they become a real obstacle to living and functioning that it may be a problem - and that can be a tough call to make - when is it a real problem - when is it just a part of being alive?

we grow up sometimes thinking the whole point is to be happy - and when we're not - we can tend to believe there's something wrong with us. When we're young, we don't always understand that - and we haven't had enough experience to learn how to go with the flow

giving yourself permission to be as miserable as you need to be - will actually help you move through it a lot faster than fighting it (in my opinion - and based on my experience)

being miserable and disappointed is just as normal as being happy :-)

edit to add: I forgot to say - I'm glad you're having a good day - have a happy holiday - even if it's not your holiday


[edit on 12/21/2008 by Spiramirabilis]