Disorders; Coping with, and seeking help

Alright, I want to start this off and make one thing clear. I am not saying I am diagnosed with any of these issues, however it has been recommended that I check out a Psychologist by Psychiatrists and Therapists I've had in the past for what may be Avoidant Personality Disorder, Paranoid Personality Disorder, and possibly even a mild form of Depression. The problem is, I haven't gone to get anything checked out yet. Mostly because I'm a little terrified to find out the answer, especially considering mental disorders are not uncommon in my bloodline, and that terrifies me.

Looking at the pieces, everything does fit, I have trouble trusting anyone's intentions and have only been able to come around and stop doubting two people I've met, and I still tend to wonder if they're up to anything sneaky even when I know I can trust them. As a child, I did not grow up in a normal family. My mother suffers from Bipolar Disorder and mild schizophrenia. My father was normal, but paid no attention to me other than the bare minimum. I was constantly walking on eggshells just to keep from pissing off my mother with every trivial thing, and I got little attention from either of them unless it was negative in some form. I have always felt that if I have Avoidant and Paranoid Personality Disorder as the Psychiatrists have assumed, this is without a doubt what caused it, or atleast helped to.

On a side note, I tend to get depressive bouts relatively often, usually late at night (which happens alot and I'll explain further into that later on) which begin to make me feel hopeless and lost, and usually in these moments I decide it's a good idea to finally go check things out with a doctor and see what's going on and what can be done. But the thing is..

can you do anything about these issues even if you know they're really what's wrong with you? I don't believe in medication, I've been prescribed medication for ADHD (which I believe to be false, I think ADHD is just normal human development, but what do I know) which did nothing for me but make me worse. I was barely myself when I was on it, I had no appetite, and I was easy to anger. I guess I'm still easy to anger, but it was to a more vicious level when on that medication. When I finally convinced them to take me off of it, bam, my behaviour was normal again, but with a couple minor side-effects. Because of that horrible prescription, I swore off of medication and pills for aslong as I can, so here's my question:

Should I really go in and see what's wrong? Will they just prescribe me more medication? I do not want to be on any more pills, I don't want to kill off a part of me, I just want to be a little less socially crippled, a little less paranoid, and get these depressive bouts far less often. Granted, everyone goes through depressive stages occasionally, but this is happening too regularly to not acknowledge as a potential serious problem.

Unfourtanetly, this is a touchy subject for me, one that I've only discussed with one friend of mine, and I feel that the people here are probably knowledgable enough to give me some help. Considering it's an online message board, there's really no risk of explaining the situation, as there would have been in approaching someone in person.

So guys, what are my options?
Thank you so much for reading this, I know this is long and I've been meaning to ask this for awhile, but the other night I felt it's finally time I look into doing asmuch as possible to try and help change my life. Thank you in advance for any help and assistance.

Go and be up front and say you do not want any pills. There might be ways to control it without all the meds. But you have to go and see. Don't be afraid a mental disorder is nothing to be ashamed of. We all have mental disorders on some levels. So go to the doctor be a active part of your treatment. Most of the time if you work with a doctor on your treatment they will work with you.

I have bipolar disorder. I've tried therapy alone, which didn't work out very well- I attempted suicide. I've tried medications alone, also with grim results. Right now, I find that my best plan of attack is a combination of therapy, and a minimal amount of medication.

If it weren't for these things, I'd surely be dead by now. Go in, get checked out, and work with your doctor towards a shared, common goal.

I'm assuming you're in the U.S.: if not, some of the things that I say may be different.

If you go to a Psychologist (Ph.D. in psychology) or a Clinical Social Worker (M.S.W. and usually some additional training) they can not prescribe medication, so that's where I would start. I've had really good experiences with C.S.W.s – including that they are not anxious to "diagnose" or put a label on me; they're more interested in helping me react to life in a more productive way (stop avoiding things I'm scared about, for example).

If they really feel that you need medication, they can always refer you to a Psychiatrist (M.D.) but my experience has been that they are willing and even eager to avoid medication except when clearly warranted.

This is going to sound like a kind of wacky suggestion, but I actually think it might be relevant. The book "Adult Children of Alcoholics" is a fantastic resource for people who grew up as you put it "walking on eggshells" because they had neglectful or unpredictable parents. Even though it focuses on children of alcoholics, it's about the children, not the alcoholics, and I think a lot of the insights it gives would apply to your situation.

On the subject of medication: I personally take antidepressants. My experience is that they make me think more clearly and take more interest in the world around me. I tend to think that all the people who take them and describe them as mood suppressing don't actually need them. If a medication doesn't make you function better, then don't take it (tell the doc you're stopping, of course, in case you need to taper off or something).

And remember, having a mental disorder is not the same thing as being crazy. They're just labels that people use as shorthand for certain difficulties in functioning and relating to others.

Good luck and I hope things get better for you

EDIT: just a warning – this thread may get moved to the Health and Wellness Forum at BelowTopSecret.com since it's not really about a conspiracy in medicine, but personal health. So if you come back here and find it's disappeared, don't panic

[edit on 12/9/08 by americandingbat]

Originally posted by Zaphod58
Go and be up front and say you do not want any pills. There might be ways to control it without all the meds. But you have to go and see. Don't be afraid a mental disorder is nothing to be ashamed of. We all have mental disorders on some levels. So go to the doctor be a active part of your treatment. Most of the time if you work with a doctor on your treatment they will work with you.

Thank you, I'll have to look into it and figure out a good place around here to get it checked out

Originally posted by Bobbo
I have bipolar disorder. I've tried therapy alone, which didn't work out very well- I attempted suicide. I've tried medications alone, also with grim results. Right now, I find that my best plan of attack is a combination of therapy, and a minimal amount of medication.

If it weren't for these things, I'd surely be dead by now. Go in, get checked out, and work with your doctor towards a shared, common goal.

I'm glad you're still with us.
The thing about Medication that scares me is that people can too easily become reliant on it. I want to make a change in my mental state, rather than become someone who has to take a pill every morning in order to function 'normally'

Or learn to cope with this and learn how to use it to my advantage, since I guess some issues like these can have their pro's along with their con's

Originally posted by americandingbat
I'm assuming you're in the U.S.: if not, some of the things that I say may be different.[/QUOTE]
I'm Canadian actually, but it pretty much is the same here as it is in the states

[QUOTE]If you go to a Psychologist (Ph.D. in psychology) or a Clinical Social Worker (M.S.W. and usually some additional training) they can not prescribe medication, so that's where I would start. I've had really good experiences with C.S.W.s – including that they are not anxious to "diagnose" or put a label on me; they're more interested in helping me react to life in a more productive way (stop avoiding things I'm scared about, for example).

If they really feel that you need medication, they can always refer you to a Psychiatrist (M.D.) but my experience has been that they are willing and even eager to avoid medication except when clearly warranted.

This is going to sound like a kind of wacky suggestion, but I actually think it might be relevant. The book "Adult Children of Alcoholics" is a fantastic resource for people who grew up as you put it "walking on eggshells" because they had neglectful or unpredictable parents. Even though it focuses on children of alcoholics, it's about the children, not the alcoholics, and I think a lot of the insights it gives would apply to your situation.

On the subject of medication: I personally take antidepressants. My experience is that they make me think more clearly and take more interest in the world around me. I tend to think that all the people who take them and describe them as mood suppressing don't actually need them. If a medication doesn't make you function better, then don't take it (tell the doc you're stopping, of course, in case you need to taper off or something).[/QUOTE]
Thank you, I'll try and get ahold of that book if I can, and I'll see if I can get ahold of a CSW anywhere in the area to try and assess the problem.

[QUOTE]And remember, having a mental disorder is not the same thing as being crazy. They're just labels that people use as shorthand for certain difficulties in functioning and relating to others.

Good luck and I hope things get better for you

[/QUOTE]
Thank you for your help and assistance.

Seems I haven't fully grasped the concept of the quote function yet

EDIT: just a warning – this thread may get moved to the Health and Wellness Forum at BelowTopSecret.com since it's not really about a conspiracy in medicine, but personal health. So if you come back here and find it's disappeared, don't panic

[edit on 12/9/08 by americandingbat]

Thanks, I was actually wondering why there wasn't more talk about this kind of stuff in this section, I thought it applied, so my apologies for that. If it's moved, I'd understand and wouldn't be shocked. Though I do think alot of doctors are usually so eager to prescribe medication and diagnose people improperly to fill their pockets with money from the drug companies. Ever since my so called "ADHD" I've always held the majority of doctors in high distrust for how quick they are to jump to medication.

I still remember that conversation.
"Your son has trouble paying attention in class, we think he has ADHD, here's where you can get Medication for it" Not even a test or an analysis, just a couple questions and bam, I'm stuck popping pills three times a day.