Dark Days

Is" one last dance tonight" . . .is that like a second chance ?

Laid, played, isn't there more ?
Like being shipwrecked, reaching shore,

Is that not another chance to live ?

The ups, the downs, the things I've done,
Is there any time left for fun ?
Like the song says : I've become comfortably numb,
deep down . .I'm hoping for some . . . . . .more. More chances.

Are you the one ?

Are you the One?

The last one
in Kansas,
The last one in Nam
to hear, see, touch,
choke on and Love.

The only thing left
in town was death
hiding beneath the
kitchen sink.

I have tried
writing these things
but now in the
gathering madness,
she is always with me,
without grace,
without truth.

My wounded verses
sing, striking the
twisted strings,
Survive and protest,
walk away and heal.

Walk Away and Heal

That's what you need to do
Walk away from your mind
To think of past lovers
And past loves of others
The world is on your shoulders

What is under your sink?
Poison? Chemicals? Death?
Maybe it's time for death
To take a vacation.....
Like in Meet Joe Black

But why delay the inevitable
Drink the poison. Drink the Drano
Turn your stomache and mouth
Into a volcano. Don't say no
Just do it!

I carry around a lot of crap
Most because I am obsessive
Compulsive and disordered
Disorderly conduct
Is the soup of the day

I have a fever
And the prescription
Is...more cow bell

It's all about chemical and
Spiritual, physical and emotional
Balanced on the edge of a knife
Unbalanced to the way of living
Such is life.....









[edit on 4-2-2009 by Excitable_Boy]

Are You The One?

When it's all said and done
And she's out havin' fun
Are you the one she'll take home
Or come home to?

Does she respect you
When you're not around
Or treat you like an ass clown?
How much of her # do you eat?

You're not the one
There is no ONE. There are many
You alone are not enough
Don't take it personal colonel

For a night of getting baked
She'll give it a firm hand shake
For a night of white powder
She'll forget your name

And for the white light
She'll forget where she lives
This is not the one
Run for your life









[edit on 5-2-2009 by Excitable_Boy]

Before She Faces Her Dark Days

These are her dark days
She just doesn't know it yet
Her clothes are hanging off her
Her teeth are rotting in her mouth
She smells like a bum on the streets
She has cheap jug vodka in her backpack
Stuff called Wakkoff or Jakkoff to sound Russian

She's living with a crack dealer
Her last boyfriend sold her for crack
400 dollars worth but she don't know that
She wakes in the middle of the night with men
Men who joined her while she was passed out and sick
Her boyfriend sells her for smack as if she was a timeshare

He can't even get it up anymore
He just abuses her physically and mentally
She's always covered in bruises, cuts and shame
He tells her she deserved it and she generally agrees
She's also pregnant and has Hepatitis-C among other things

She needs to get to a meeting
But seriously, she is going to die soon
Her baby will most likely die before it gets air
She lives for the next rock or package of white light

She ignores what happens in the night
Blocks it out with thoughts of cutting and suicide
Cutting makes her feel pain as she feels nothing else

She doesn't feel the punches anymore
She doesn't feel any of the various penetrations

She is dead inside

A wider alliance that leads to new roads beyond the limits, holding hands, jumping off walls into dark seclusion, cut off from the mainstream of most intimate yearnings, I left my heart somewhere on the other side, I left all desire for good.

Clinging to naked thought, impossible tactics worked out for impossible means, this is the final moment of respite, the final page in the book, a bitter challenge between old and new, with one last warning.

- Ian Curtis

When last I spoke to Carol I said:
"I can't pretend it gets easier."
She said: "I've hung on, I have edged
Along this narrow ledge
Since the day I was born in 1975."

When last I spoke to Carol I said:
"I can't pretend I feel love for you."
She said: "I've hammered a smile
Across this pasty face of mine
Since the day I was born in 1975."

When I said goodbye to Carol
Black earth upon the casket fell
She had faded to
Something I always knew
To the rescue
Nobody ever comes

- Morissey

What if I told you....
That I'm not perfect, but you are perfect for me....

That sometimes I confuse wants with needs....

That I have goals but don't always follow them...

That you make me a better person...

That you will never know all there is about me..cause a girl has to keep some secrets...

That I love the way you laugh....

That sometimes silly little things scare me....

That my best reason for doing things, is also my worst excuse..JUST BECAUSE.

So what if you did tell me ? Would it make the dark days go away ?
Why don't you stay . . . here awhile . . . and really tell me ?

I don't want to know all of your secrets, just the things you want to tell.
Is it a dark day when we learn that each of us has faults ?
If we're not perfect are we going to hell ? (I'm not feeling well.) Tell ?

You are the sum total of all of your life's experiences. And sometimes . . .
you share that with me. And I become stronger because of your sharing . .
and caring.

Meet me in the rain on the cliff overlooking our future.

Hold my hand.

Ah, . . . the dark days aren't so bad after all. I like it when we're one. Is .
. . .is . . that the . . sun ?

In the morning, arrived the pale riders
Of pale horses bringing dark intentions
Like those of their black beast masters
Of the art of death, destruction, doom

At mid-day they all started serial killing
In the name of the black beast masters
Of murder, mayhem and ultra madness
Can cause many men to fall from grace

Early evening the land was full of blood
Of the men who were in the way of life
Was over for this small village of men's
Desire for blood always awakens devils

Late that night they were ready to blow
On to the next village and more pillages
Are what these monsters do for eternity
Allowing evil to persist as much as spirit

- EB





[edit on 28-3-2009 by Excitable_Boy]

I've seen those eyes
They make me shake
I've seen those eyes
They make me break

Into pieces of glass
Sprawled over the floor
Into pieces of glass
You don't want any more

Just sweep me up
And throw them away
Just sweep them up
You don't need them anyway

You've found the crutch
That you're looking for
You've found the one
That you're looking for

She's not me
And my heart won't break
I'll walk away
And my heart won't break

I've seen those eyes
That shine through the dark
I've seen those eyes
That protected me from harm

But I look at you
And all I can see
Is darkness
All I see is darkness


- Carrot



[edit on 4/4/2009 by CA_Orot]

Gone Gone

Rita, Rita
She helped him
To the back of my car
Where he collapsed
She ran to get me
His eyes were open
Breathing in hard
Breathing out hard
Over and over

His eyes were open
But he was not there
He was gone gone

Neighbor, neighbor
Gave him CPR
The EMTs practiced
The hospital practiced
Dad was long gone
Watching the show
From high above
With serene love
He was finally free

His eyes were open
But he was not there
He was gone gone

- EB

Suffocating

Don’t take my picture
Don’t take my soul
I’m not standing with the family
Who are these people ?
I can’t mock happy
These kids are killers
Soul suffocaters
They torment me
Torture me when we’re alone
I’m not happy
Not going to stand with them
Send me to my room
Away from this doom
Unburied in their tomb of hate
There’s something wrong
They hate me because they hate you
Why are you so angry ?
So unhappy and bitter
Life not what you expected ?
Join the club
You’re not the sun Rita
Why am I you’re son Rita?
You hate yourself
You hate me
Hate runs in your family
You’re family has a plague
The plague of self hate
I’m suffocating

- EB

Gone

Rita, Rita
She helped him
To the back of my car
Where he collapsed
She ran to get me
His eyes were open

Breathing in hard
Breathing out hard
Breathing in hard
Breathing out hard
Over and over
Over and over
Over and over
Over and over

His eyes were open
But he was not there
His eyes were open
But he was not there

Neighbor, neighbor
Gave him CPR
The EMTs practiced
The hospital practiced
Dad was long gone
Watching the show

From high above
With serene love
From high above
With serene love

He was finally free
His eyes were open
He was finally free
His eyes were open

He was finally free
He was finally free

- EB