A one night love with no return...

Has anyone experienced this? You spend the night with a new person (in my case a girl), you think everything was awesome and that the kick off just started but to you're own amazement, the other person doesn't want to hang out with you again. I'm really looking for any advice.

I want to share in depth what my night was like.
I am 23, she is 19. We hit it off at school and then I invited her over to hang out that night. She came over, we laughed, drank, smoked(it was her weed), played darts, listened to music and I thought she had a great time, I know I did.

As the night carried on she eventually passed out on my couch, so being a gentlemen, I went and slept in my bedroom. Latter on she woke me up standing next to my bed and she told me to scoot over. Once she got in the bed my hand felt the need to explore. She was very strict about where I could explore and when she told me not to touch somewhere or said quit(like her butt) I did. I didn't want to violate her.

This went on for a while and eventually I decided to test her to make sure she didn't want to just sleep. As I was just about to fall asleep while holding her she jolted me awake. She asked, "Are you asleep?" I replied, "Almost".
She laughed. I knew at this moment that she didn't want to just sleep.

My hand began to explore and her boundaries/limits didn't change any. When it came to breast, crotch, or butt, it was off limits, everything else was fair game. We held hands, kissed, and I massaged her back very intimately.

It ended after the final back massage and I worry now that it ended because she was upset I wasn't willing to make "the" move. Or maybe it was just a bad back massage, even though she said it felt really good.

The thing I can't understand is what went wrong, and why shes not contacting me. I have called her no more than twice the past three days, and no call back, so I'm pretty sure its over.

I really think she wanted me to "violate" her and go for it, and because I didn't... well you know the rest. I know that sounds bad but... tbh I don't think that's true, I attempted to take off her belt twice and quit the 2nd time she said quit (this was after she woke me). Bah why am I even asking here, no-one knows the answer. :bash:

I'm sure that it could be anything but let me tell you that I am pretty sure that everything went really smooth. I really don't understand... maybe she was just looking for love and has a bf, that's the only thing I can think of. I am pretty sure sex was off limits in her mind.


[edit on 20-10-2008 by Techsnow]

I'm sorry, with me they always came back for more.





She said no??? No means No! You did the right thing. You did nothing wrong, and its up to you if you want to play night games with a tease'
You are very young and i'd suggest protection for you if you're going to be sexually active. Or try.

btw, stop calling her and dont speak about her to her friends. This will surely get her to come back. Women are a bit strange, trust me, i am one.

Thanks for reassuring me on that one. I am pretty sure that she meant quit so I did! You could be right, its probably nothing more than a tease thing.

As for calling her. I only did for 3 days, today is day 3 and today will be the last time I call her. She returned my call yesterday but said she would call me back so I waited until today. I called her and told her I wanted to take her out to eat and hang out (voice mail). Called her back an hour latter and no return. So that's that. I refuse to play phone games and I know some girls get a kick out of "desperate" guys that keep calling.

[edit on 20-10-2008 by Techsnow]

I agree with dg. You did the right thing by not violating her.

This girl is a straight up tease. You don't get into bed with a guy you don't know to hang out and go to first base.

Besides that, women for whom "NO" really does mean "YES", you set the womens' movement back 100 years.

reply to post by dgtempe
OMG. That is too cool. I loved your reply.

That was priceless. You go girl.

reply to post by Techsnow


You've probably saved yourself a whole lot of heartache...

I imagine that this girl might have been setting you up to cry rape... even if she didn't bing any legal proceedings into it, it could ruin your good name.

I may be thinking melodramatically there. But why find out? Sicne it seems like there may hav ebeen some substances involved, perhaps she thinks that the two of you went farther than you did, and feels ashamed... thus doesn't wnat to get involved.

I think I should add the girl was fully aware of where she was, and what she was doing.

I believe, that she was playing nothing more than a tease night for love. Be it from her past or present love I may never know. Might I add that I enjoyed every moment of helping her love and would do so again.


I'd like thank everyone for the advice they've given me.

But this isn't supposed to be about just my experience. I and many other would like to hear about you're own personal experiences on this.


[edit on 21-10-2008 by Techsnow]

You did the right thing. SHE did not. Don't over analyze it.
The girl is a tease, and not worth your time or effort putting too much thought into it.
Go look for someone better.