how to piss off tele-sales people

lets all share tips on how to piss the vermin off when they randomly call us
while we are in the middle of something trying to sell their services or some junk or another.

for me

Show intrest, get them going (give fake details)
and let them write it down and go for the top package where they know they will get a good pay out of

and at the last minute say Na, dont really need it
if they can waste my time i can waste theirs.

yes i know i am a cruel basterd

reply to post by bodrul



Ahh one of my favorite things to do in life........

#1 Purchase one of those little sounds machines that you can keep on your key chain it has a baby crying a police siren a man saying your chineses food delivery. Very good stuff.
#2 This is for all the ones that call from India using Fake American Names. Call them on the fact that you refuse to talk to them until they tell you their real names. "your lying your mother did not name you john wayne"

I'll stop there before I get into issues about eating cows that may or may not have been a direct relative. No offense.

i really dont think you will beat this guy


ill figure how to link the video later -_-

heres teh url for now lol

www.youtube.com...

[edit on 16/9/08 by noobfun]

Yep I do that too get them going on and on about the product, sound very interested, then at the last moment tell them. I'm sorry I'm not interested, and hang up.

Other ways of doing it are to pretend your having emotional problems or are contemplating suicide. Make it even worse, get a sound clip of a gunshot, get them going on, thinking they are talking to someone on the edge, then play the sound clip and listen to the response. (Make sure to be ABSOLUTELY SILENT)

I do what Jerry did on Seinfeld. I ask them for their home or cell phone number since they like to call mine. Thats when i get a moment of akward silence, and then I hang up lol.

*Annoying Telephone Ring that I despise*

"Hello?"

"Hi there, this is Natasha calling from (insert something here), is Christina home?"

"I'm sorry, you're looking for Christina?"

"Yes, is she around?"

"Oh. I guess you haven't heard..."

*Pause*

"Christina is out of the Country at the moment, she was called in as a professional consultant in a very serious matter."

"Do you know when a good time to reach her will be?"

"Actually, I'm not too sure how long she's going to be over in Etheopia for; she's been there for almost 3 months now, doing hands-on research with the Ebola Virus - do you know what that is? (don't wait for an answer)

Well its this awful disease, incurable as far as I know - how should I know, I'm not a scientist. Anyway this virus, it like makes you bleed from every orfice of your body, and from what I've read in her letters - it turns your insides to liquid.

Now, I'm sure you're sitting there thinking "Wow I am SO glad I don't have a job like Christina's" but let me tell you, She's glad as well that the roles are not reversed. Studying and being exposed to the Ebola virus, is something she'd rather be doing, than wasting her time on the damn telephone, talking to damn telemarketers.

She asked me to pass that message on to you. Thank you. Have a nice day. And please, remove Christina from your calling list. I doubt, that after studying the Ebola virus, anything you have to sell her, would be of any interest."

CLICK.

Words to that effect, usually work well. Or so I have found.

- Carrot

got this from a comedian, tried it myself and it works wonders

telemarketer : hello is (insert name here) there.

me : speaking

telemarketer : i would like to interest you in (insert garbage product here)

me : ooo you sound preety, give me one moment while i take my clothes off

telemarketer : excuse me?

me : ooo yea baby keep talking !!!!

telemarketer : *click*

funnily enough they dont ring back

I always tell them straight away that they don't have to read their scripts to me. Then I change the subject and ask them their opinion on some lighthearted topic.

You'd be surprised at how many cool conversations you can have with this method. I talked to one guy for almost 15 mintues once, and he seemed just as relieved as me to hear another human on the line.

It doesn't work all the time, but my phone doesn't ring very often.

When it does - I maximize the occassion for human relations.

Growing up , we would ask them to pls hold a moment and then put the phone in the fridge for 5 minutes. That did the trick .

When my kids were babies, also a piece of cake. I passed the phone to them. They gummed the receiver, babbled a bit and occasionally let out a little gas before the telemarketer caught on.

Thanks to modern technology, I generally don't pick up UNKNOWN callers on my caller id, but in the event that they get me when i am sidetracked, they get an abrupt, ' No thank you' and a click in their ear.
The US National Do Not Call registry has cut down considerably on the amount of fun i can have -- i mean the amount of calls that come in nowadays.

www.donotcall.gov...

Well... This one time, they called me right in the middle of something important,
so I made up my own language on the spot and started speaking random gibberish to the guy lol. He hung up on me

lately when i get that call i do one or two things, if i am at the computer i have this clip i play very explicit couple lol very vocal just going at it i keep on pause and play for them. some listen some are shocked those that listen to it all get to hear the headboard banging then someone come in and all hell breaks loose. or if i am elsewher in the house i pick up and just press pound repeatedly for about 10-15 seconds. they cant hang up right away. my clip for this week will a song i found about not wearing underwear today. lol my kids help me find a lot of weird clip except the adult one of course

Another good one is to go ahead and sound interested in their windows or whatever. Tell them you really like the idea of new windows (or whatever) then say "I do have one question, can you tell me if the welfare dept will pay for this or will they take it out of my monthly check?"

Not only will they get off the phone at break neck speed, a lot of them will take you off of their calling list.

Tell them your going to ask your partner (wether you have one or not) wether they're interested and don't go back to the phone for at least 10 minutes, thats if your not expecting any calls.
If by chance they still happen to be there, tell them your partner said no and hang up immediately.

[edit on 25-9-2008 by Chukkles]